I wouldn't bother mate

My 93 year old dad's just asked if I want the central heating turned up

I never thought reading Roy Hudd's Cavalcade of Variety Acts would lead to nightmares.

York today

Our Cool Runnings (1991)

Melania's pride as 'Deranged Simpleton' character joins Village People line up.

Telephone for red hot chat.

Getting to Football.... if you want to know how to get to a non league club and I don't mean just SatNav but public transport anywhere then this doc is amazing... it's hard to imagine the work that has gone into this...... www.andyofkent.exofire.net/GTF_202526.pdf

It will soon be time for the GB News brigade to complain that there's no mention of Easter in Morrisons.

" ..and the guy says 'The Aristocrats'.

"Quiet quiet Piggy"

Please support Kitmas if you can, a cause close to my heart. They buy football shirts for kids whose families can’t afford to: www.crowdfunder.co.uk/kitmas-2025

Last week at Southport. Decided to go for a paddle - just reached the sea.

I guess the likes of The Bad Blue Boys of Dinamo Zagreb had to start somewhere so fair play to these good lads at AFC Blackpool for getting behind their club. #nonleague

Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover

Ilkeston Town v Warrington Rylands Northern Premier League. 2-2 The main stand has a good view of the corner flag, in a style resembling mid period Morrisons. Decent game, good chips! #nonleague

"Former England bowler Stuart Broad believes Australia have their "worst" team since 2010 heading into this winter's Ashes." Another 5-0 then.

Albion Sports v Wombwell NCEL Premier. Albion finally have their own ground after years of sharing. Well done to those who made this happen in a deprived area of Bradford. 2-1 Albion in front of 121. The curry was decent as well. #nonleague

" so I invented this slice that actually makes you lose weight and they gave me no the no belly pizza prize"

Farewell then Patricia Routledge - a terrific turn as a medium in Seance in a Wet Rag and Bone Yard

Some brief respite in the excellent Rat Race micropub on Hartlepool station.

End of season at Headingley for Yorkshire v Durham. They ought to try playing in the summer.

" no, I said prepare for the rapture"

As Les Dawson might have put it " go to Maine Road FC, it's good for flu. I did, and I got it" #nonleague

With my 93 year old dad having a conversation on how the nights are pulling in, like something from Harold Pinter.

Grangetown Boys (2) v Prudhoe YC (1) in the Northern League Division 2. Nice view from the Trunk Road side of the ground. I think the flag is upside down which means there's no pies. #nonleague

I like the cut of Elliot Anderson's jib. Haircut, no headwear, no (visible) tattoos, regulation socks and shinners. I'd like to think if he scored it would be handshakes all round and a brisk walk back to the centre spot. #England

A slightly depressing afternoon trying to have a couple of quiet pints, either trying to ignore diatribes about immigrants or having no impact pushing back. I'm worried about where we are at.

I see he's back from his holidays..

Thackley FC v Albion Sports in the Northern Premier League and over the road Thackley CC dealing with a slope that would give Chris Bonnington vertigo. #nonleague

Dan Lawrence's bowling coach. #hundred

The FA Cup and The Road to Wembley begins. Chadderton 2 Stockport Town 1. Only another 12 games for Chaddy. Nicely refurbished ground with good food and drink. A fine day out. #nonleague

Esplanade car park, Kirkcaldy, before the developers move in. @brutalismbot.com

The biggest lie my mum ever told me was that 'continental quilts' kept you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

Getting ready for the white hot heat of the FA Cup Extra preliminary Round by picking up a few tips from Steaua Bucharest ultras at the Romanian Super Cup. £11 well spent.

Jokers Wild on Rewind TV. I'm suffering from passive smoking just watching it. Barry Cryer's gone through a pack before the adverts.

Not sure how the Ezra Collective can go back to playing The Brudenell Social Club in Leeds after this. I think there are more people on stage than were in the crowd last time. Wonderful stuff. #Glastonbury

Steely Don blowing up a storm at the Caroline Street Club Saltaire. Even my old arthritic hips were swaying.

An enjoyable afternoon at Sandal CC, Wakefield. Trains, cricket, cask ale and the prospect of a belt strainer of a cricket tea.

A 30 second outbreak of sunlight at a damp and freezing Headingley. Chap in front of me optimistically applying sun cream. He'd be better off with chilblain ointment.

I'm sure that if Prof Hannah Fry had been in charge of my physics O Level instead of Mr Yelverton, a nice chap composed entirely of brown polyester, bri-nylon and Woodbines, I wouldn't have failed so spectacularly.

Borough Park, Workington before the bulldozers come in and it becomes the Cumberland Sports Village. No doubt it will be an easy to maintain asset to the club and community, but I will miss historic, slightly ramshackle old grounds like this.

Sid James died OTD in 1976. He was younger than me! As someone said about the equally creased WH Auden - I dread to think what his balls look like.

This is exactly what they had in mind

Took Chas and Dave's advice and went down to Margate wiv all me family. Outside the micro pub on the harbour wall.

Droylsden v Garstang. North West Counties League. A couple of miles down the road from the Etihad but at £6 to get in, a world away. One of the top non-league grounds. Good luck to The Bloods in the play-offs.

If you could have a look and repost, that’d be grand. Thank you 👍👍

Michael Gove's peerage. Stone me. If anyone can point to any aspect of life that has improved over last 20 years due to his involvement I'd be grateful.

A bracing day out at Bonnyrigg Rose v Elgin City. The pie selection was better than the match.

Watching some early black and white episodes of On the Buses. Talk about bleak. Like Samuel Beckett with toilet gags. Cicely Courtneidge, who played Stan's mum, would have been 132 this year.