Kryten gets it

Getting them numbers up for 2026

Well this has to be one of the greatest things I have ever drank

Rare exception to Betteridge www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

Nice morning at the range establishing my stock distances with the gentle swing that I *know* works off grass, and then applying those distances to a virtual 18 hole - if only the real world was so easy!

Man this is lush

Very excited to be playing golf at Dundonald Links tomorrow, even more so now I've spent a bit of time hitting the ball off soggy grass instead of a nice pristine range or fairway mat (mandatory at most courses). Ball is mostly going in the air and in a straight line, now it's just the wind...

E33 GOTY as if there was ever any doubt.

You are leaving the house? You disappoint me human

Great golf lesson while the course is closed, finally unlocked the driver as a practical club!

In Golf Today, I fixed my 'hook' with the irons, which added 20 yards to every club, which carried onto the golf course so I proceeded to lob every ball way over the green, including a massive 230 yard five wood directly off the fairway. If I can harness this power, next year's golf will be great.

Fuck me, trump is the trumpiest cunt to have ever cunted

No way I’m ready for it, but decided to try out links golf at dundonaldlinks.com - purportedly one of the better all year courses about. Winter discount, and Scottish resident discount, the amount of balls I’m going to lose will likely make up the difference to the real price…

Gonna tell my kids this was Goatse.

John Cena in Pluribus 👌

I could see the fifa draw thing in silent at the golf range; I saw the text “fifa peace prize” and said “they’re not, they’re fucking not 😂 “ and they fucking did, oh my god what a monumental comedy show.

Aahha ahahahAHHAH HAH AHAH AHa haAHHA HAHA AHA AHA HH HA HAH AHA AHa hha ha A HAH AHAH AHHAHAHAHAHah AH HA HAH A HAAahha ahahahAHHAH HAH AHAH AHa haAHHA HAHA AHA AHA HH HA HAH AHA AHa hha ha A HAH AHAH AHHAHAHAHAHah AH HA HAH A HAAahha ahahahAHHAH HAH AHAH AHa haAHHA HAHA AHA AHA HH HA HAH AHA AH

My First Birdie 🐦

Absolutely loving that 4i action atm, who needs a driver

Oh my god, five year olds are relentless, “WHEN ARE YOU FINISHED I WANT TO PLAY THE DRUMS” he shouts from the hallway as I’m sat on the bog.

Fair play to Starsailor, front loaded their set with the bangers, shoved in a few of their newer tunes, more bangers - cracking voice still, been well over a decade since I last saw them but very much still going strong 💪

Bleh, hoped Haiver would learn that duet singing in unison sounds like an amateur school concert, but the new single demonstrates that no, they’re sticking with it - in the sea with ya 🚮

5w driver and 4i all coming into play finally as the million things you have to remember for a golf swing start to get internalised - headed to the range this evening with a single swing thought I wanted to try out, absolutely nailed it - I’m gonna lose so many golf balls tomorrow.

Well this represents a bit of a leap, suspect it’s time to stop sending updates to my dad so when we play next he can be pleasantly surprised or at least I won’t get his hopes up and then play like trash…

Well fuck, it was worth the hassle and I didn’t end up surrounded by complete assholes in the arena

Shocking stuff

Girding my loins before I traipse up to the o2 arena for Radiohead, how much alcohol is enough alcohol for the o2 arena and how much is too much for Radiohead (while still being drunk enough to ignore the fact that thom yorke can barely hit a note these days?)

I've been a heel I've been a credit To all of the liars I stood on to get here Timing is everything I will show you the ropes @iliketrains.co.uk

Just played the first hour of expedition 33 again, hot damn…

For a brief moment today, competence was experienced, power now coming from the body and not the arms, hinge from wrists is entirely passive, and if I remember not to twat the ball it goes in a straight line and very much far enough - next season is gonna be great.

Good to see CO E33 get so much recognition in the TGA nominations, I wish I could play it again for the first time.

I fucking love @hadihariri.com’s meat

Just went for an hour long golf lesson with my dad’s golf pro, completely tore my swing apart and rebuilt it but fuck me, the 4i, 5w and driver suddenly flying for days, I’ll remember none of it tomorrow on the course but what a feeling.

Just me, writing posts about AI on LinkedIn, oh no.

9 iron, 9 iron, SW - made it look easy today, please let me remember how to do this when I’m in Spain in a few days 😂

Current status: waiting around the shop at 9:50am with my groceries so I can add a six pack of beer to my trolley and not come back later because licensing laws in Scotland are still full blown retarded.

Elon: "People need to make more children, we have a responsibility to breed" Also Elon:

Golf turned a corner this week so it seems, I still can’t hit the big stick but I just did a round sticking to the 5w only and didn’t get a single hole over +2 (pictured a little 5w practise shot before I went on course - it’ll do!)

My First Par 🐞

Empty golf course, sun was out, 18 holes in 2h30 and beat my PB because I was able to hit the ball with various sticks to various distances for a change

Free-dumb

Seeing as jury duty has put the kabosh on my tee off on Monday, (forecast: sunny 😭) and my lesson after that, I’m donning my full golf cunt outfit and heading out to an 18 hole muni at midday (£10 a round), are they ready for me? Am I ready for it? Fuck knows, I’ve got lots of spare balls though.

Reeling from a round of golf this morning where I flushed most of my irons, hit a few good woods and didn't slice the driver out into the cow field next to the course. As hard as it has been to accept, swinging slowly is the answer to getting the ball even further - I have no idea how this works.

Looks like I'm up in time to watch the last two laps of the backyard ultra WC. Ivo is saying he doesn't want to run another one and Phil is looking fresh as daisies and probably mildly annoyed he doesn't get to set a WR (once you run a lap alone you're the winner, no more after that)

Things are escalating fast, I am now a member of an actual golf course. I need to order me some slippers and a flat cap post haste.

Absolute scenes this morning in Fairbourne

So glad that millenials have stopped killing everything and now all the news articles are about gen z and their crazy goings on, soon we will be forgotten about just like gen x and that is alright by me.

I have real golf clubs now, I am officially middle aged

Boom MFer