Tha fuck

I just wanna hear Pope Bob tell him, "...get Jesus' name out of your mouth, asswipe."

Can the Pope officially excommunicate Vance over the many ways he is pissing God off right now?!

someone will say ‘no’ to the wrong person, at the wrong time someone will say ‘not this time’ and it won’t look like the person you thought it would be they won’t carry a sign over their head that says ‘murdered prophet’ but that’s what they'll be killed in the street their body left for gawkers

I’ve written several poems today i cannot ever publish. For reasons.

ICE orphaned a five year old today

Several times a week I start to write an absurdist joke about something this regime might do, and then I delete it because I recognize it probably isn't a joke at this point.

It's supposed to separation of church and state, not separation of state and reality.

They will *ALL* look over their shoulders in fear for the rest of their lives.

This is such a niche foodie joke that I saw it and immediately smiled. 10/10, no notes.

we’ve been laid siege to for hundreds of years hate insisting upon us burning down our walls in the name of colonial expansion collecting souls like bloody "christian" scalps keeping the poor low and lower for bonuses and perks keeping colors and whites separated to launder putrid myths

i completely agree that this is the key problem with Bluesky discourse right now: The Circumstances are genuinely toxic right now. log off. go scream at an inanimate object. dig a hole. continue digging until you've got a burrow. hide in the burrow. do not bring your phone

I kinda want to see Javier Bardem do it. I think if he played it ultra-straight, it would be one of the funniest movies ever.

I threw my back out cutting a frozen ice cream cake. Was down for several days.

Oh good, a new nightmare just dropped.

There’s something sacred in crossing a river.

every time you saw the void every time you heard the blade whisper a sweet nothing every line you walked without crossing that old river for the moments that passed moments when you refused to pass we offer thanks we offer tearful, humbled thanks for choosing another day for not giving up

What must Cybertruck drivers do to convince themselves they don't drive the ugliest Incelmobile ever created?

There‘s probably some scheming viziers in hell thankful they didnt have to post their crimes to social media to impress their bosses.

This might in fact be the only thing Vance inherits from him.

Trump has a gift inspiring more hatred of himself than any person I've ever seen.

I can’t introduce myself as that many things.

Gonna swing on down to Panera and get me a flight of reheated soups.

I keep on muttering, "...they lose in the end..." to myself over and over.

”…we got way too coked up…” is not a valid defense against war crimes charges.

the cowardice of men ready, eager to draw innocent blood ready, hungry to drink the claret their hems and haws unready, unwilling to pay any price unready, unable to imagine a different world rise up, you weak arise you weary fasten courage to a red coat offer your raging tears on the altar

Congress is standing by to be very concerned.

Trump: ...the doctor said my blood was like a good gravy... I like gravy... we're doing cardiobechamel...

I hate how Trump's idiocy is such that you can *almost* tell what true thing someone told him that he then contorted into some cyclopean horror version.

I once saw a commercial for a medicine that reported a rare side effect of "fatal skin rash," and I've never thought of a worse sounding side effect.

This is outstanding content.

IN THE FUTURE YOU WON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE TO KICK YOU IN THE BALLS

Wait 'til you find out Danny Ocean is responsible for all the cops in Vegas buying Cybertrucks.

If you had told me just about anything, ten years ago, about where my life or where the country would be in 2026 I would have reasonably assumed you were stark raving mad.

I guess we all learned just how much of a lie “liberal media” was.

I’m tired of the world being in chaos because “what if bad man gets mad?“

I hope he has nightmares about ramps and stairs.

those trumpets playing joy sound ominous when. when everything is wrong how long how much longer until peace comes? how long until hope burns

Gluten Free Man vs Superman doesn’t seem fair.

Maybe it‘ll happen tomorrow and give us all a Christmas miracle.

some christmases are cold and broken sans hallelujah some christmases are dark chaos full of unwelcomed reality pain clinging fast to your insides smiles are heavy, effortful warmth reaches deep into distant memory some christmases held together by rough twine, faded paper and unpleasant memories

Does Bari Weiss know ratings = advertising dollars or did no one tell her?

Can’t ”coast in on fumes” anymore: gotta do it with electrons.

The more I’ve thought about this, the more I think it should be extended to the DOJ: If you have evidence of a crime you failed to prosecute? Straight to jail.

At this point the president's blood is basically a non-Newtonian fluid, right?

I heard a line in a bad movie earlier, “…he’s failing exponentially,” and said aloud that you can’t really fail exponentially but then Bari Weiss proved me wrong.

unsure of what it means anymore she tells herself it doesn't matter if it doesn’t mean anything an ouroboros of cold defeat thinking about the clarity depression brings and how she keeps cycling through app after app sure it will finally mean something if she just doesn't think about it

A Navy battleship cannot be designed, tested, constructed and deployed in 2.5 years.