Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. So when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Just back from the Malaprop School of Cookery where I learned to make pizza with cannibalised onion.

A nice Italian lunch with fellow members of the Malaprop Dining Club. Delicious vanilla terracotta for dessert.

@annajerzewska.bsky.social 🤔

"A Solitary Life" by Stan Dalone

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." – George Carlin

I tend to pronounce kilometres with the stress on the first syllable, but mostly hear it pronounced with the stress on the second. And yet nobody, as far as I'm aware, stresses the second syllable of centimetres or millimetres. Any thoughts on this from linguists?

"Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly." – Ambrose Bierce

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." – W C Fields

There was a young fellow from Penge Who spent time defacing Stonehenge A lintel it's said Fell down on his head An act of Druidic revenge

"A History of Twerking" by Nye Sarse.

Any simple problem can be made more complex if enough meetings are held to discuss it.

A young gambling fellow called Reg Was quick to fulfil every pledge He once bet me a pound That the Earth was not round Then promptly fell over the edge

Time to repost the image of how I feel after reading Chris Grey's blog.

When out one night wining and dining I was found in the gutter reclining To myself there I thinked Far too much I had drinked And my language I felt was declining

Good thinking.

LS2

A new writer of verse name of Rita Was so good that I wanted to metre Her poetic feet Are dainty and neat As for rhyming there’s no one to beat her

Went out for the afternoon without my headphones or a book.

Ramsgate, n. Political scandal involving male sheep.

granary, n. Construction for the storage of ancient relatives.

My friend Al hates both AI and sans serif.

I didn't know how interested I was in railways until I started following @jonworth.eu. Now I've gone and signed up to his newsletter! 🚂

"Curling is housework on ice." – Linda Smith

Roger Casement: “A nation is a very complex thing. It never does consist; it never has consisted solely of men of one blood or one single race – it is like a river, rising in the hills with many sources, many converging streams, that become one great stream.” (1905)

🎯

I've hired a painter from Malaprop Decorating Services and he's just cleaning his brushes with turpitude.

A charming young linguist called Hilda Had a date with a tall Spanish builder She fell for his eyes Both their colour and size And one eyebrow shaped just like a ~

Now Schrödinger mislaid his cat Last seen lying down on the mat Said his wife with a stare “You old fool he’s still there Now work out a theory for that”

Right on cue I arrive at this quote in @iandunt.bsky.social and @dorianlynskey.bsky.social's book "Centrism". "Orwell and Camus both made the case that only a ‘United States of Europe’, preferably socialist, would have the political and economic power to stand up to Washington and Moscow."

🤔

Now young Franz he belonged to a clique About which he was not keen to speak There was old Mrs Trout Who preferred to say nowt Miss Miller and Andy Musik

A New Year present to myself via Kobo. @lilithepunk.bsky.social

Just checking the BBC 1 TV schedule and disappointed to learn that there is no Celebrity News at Ten.

How I'm walking out of 2025.

As good a reason as any to stay on Bluesky.

Plus ça change. Sigh!

I renamed my house "Guest House"; now I keep getting people knocking on the door and asking to stay.

I can sort of understand people who indulge in flagellation. They look forward eagerly to the pleasure that pain brings and then immerse themselves in it. That's the feeling I have with @chrisgrey.bsky.social's Brexit blogs.

Looking forward to next week's read at the Malaprop Book Club. I'm told it has a medical theme: From Ear to Maternity.

I've just received information from the Malaprop Medical Society about their London walk. We're to catch the Eustachian tube and meet at nearby St Pancreas.

A reminder of his reminder of his new blog post on Brexit reminders.

God tried hard to make feet that would suit And for waterfowl ones that looked cute But his large stock of webbing Very soon began ebbing And ran out when he got to the coot

A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands; How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he. I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven. – Walt Whitman

"... th' whole worl's... in a terr...ible state o'... chassis!" – Sean O'Casey, Juno and the Paycock

Due to an admin error, we have lost our @oxfordforeurope.bsky.social account. (As you can see that account hasn’t posted for a while). So - after many attempts with the Bluesky team to regain the account - this is the new account. If you see this, please could you repost and follow back? 🙏

3 corporations in a trench coat... 😂

A management guru called Cox Spoke in jargon designed just to fox Till his staff in a state Stuffed him into a crate So he'd start to think inside the box

subversive, n. One who writes poetry under water.