A guy just ordered his Bloody Mary with no olives and that seems like an actual crime he should go to jail for.

No one reads Friday newsletters but I did one anyway.

NEW MIDWEST EXCELLENCE! Minnesota Counties, Ranked: Number 86, Norman County. Yes, that's a majestic, 21-foot-tall sugar beet. I don't know what to tell you. Free to read, please subscribe anyway.

Don't you wish you had a trusted advisor to make your playlists better? Here at Midwest Excellence, we put in the work to make sure you never have to listen to Morgan Wallen again.

For today's Midwest Excellence, I wrote about eating shit (metaphorically). It's not depressing, I swear.

With these warm temps, now would be a good time check out the state of your sidewalks. Maybe you had some spots that were frozen before you could get to them? A few minutes of work could make things much better for your neighbors.

By request, a Larry King column.

On Left of the Dial (the song) and left of the dial (the concept). Lots of good music in this one if you hate reading and/or me.

No one should be defined by the worst day of their life (being employed by the New York Jets). New Midwest Excellence, piping hot in your inbox.

With all due credit to @aarongleeman.bsky.social, please welcome the Link-O-Rama 2.0 to your inbox.

What, exactly, is a RandBall's Stu? Here, let me tell you.

people were clamoring for another newsletter. here's mine.

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

You know how the horse eyes glow red at DIA? That’s happening to me now that I know about Bo Nix’s ankle.

I’d like to know what will actually happen when, not if, when they defy this.

If I’m alone in the car, I usually listen to podcasts or books. Today I listened to music, cranked the volume and sang at the top of my lungs! I even shed a tear or 2 thanks to Linda Ronstadt. It felt AMAZING. Highly recommend.

@klobuchar.senate.gov Please do not run for governor. You have proven over and over that you don’t actually care.

I’m here for it.

Trying not to drop f bombs while I watch this game with my mom in the next room.

I’m not crying at Bill Murray’s speech at the end of Scrooged, you are.

We were watching that Michelle Pfeiffer Christmas movie tonight. I said, “I’m gonna get weird in a few years aren’t I.” Stu responded, “you already are.” Merry Christmas, everybody!

Really looking forward to getting stuck for 6 hours on the tarmac next to a dude who decided to hit the airport gym. At least we’ll all be wearing suits.

Lesson from this morning’s Turkey Trot. Don’t force your family to join you. Saw a couple situations where kids sat down in the road because they were not interested in finishing.

We’ve had about 5 total kids but I have enjoyed snacking and drinking on the porch.

I never realized how much all the whispering in Poltergeist bugs me.

This bike was dropped in our bushes Wednesday night. I don’t know anything about the quality of the bike, but the person it belongs to may be missing it either way. Let me know if it could be yours. cc: @randballsstu.bsky.social

I feel like HBO’s mocking me.

So…when I laid on the horn and gave that lady the finger this morning?

Ever since Dewey Cox, Stu has no interest in biopics about bands/musicians. This Springsteen movie is going to test that.

Hello, Gorgeous!

We’re dog-sitting. He’s been here for a while now, should be comfy with the house. He won’t go into the basement, so I assume that’s where the ghosts are.

Creepy is someone playing Mad World on the piano outside the church across the street while it’s still dark out.

Trying to pick a new baseball team.

For reasons that aren’t important, I’ve been watching a lot of Hallmark the last few days. The ads for Chicken Sisters features several really good actors doing a lot of really bad acting. I haven’t watched the actual show yet.

Why aren’t they showing the hellscape of Minneapolis on SNF? The NFL is so woke!

I’m sure all the Dems falling all over themselves to offer condolences think they’re being the “bigger people.” Really, it just seems like they’re just abandoning their supporters.

My daughter is getting her grandpa high right now. It’s the best thing.

It was fun to imagine.

I’m not upset about influencers who choose not to post about a tragedy. I think it’s more upsetting when they post about one for attention, clicks and engagement.

At the fair in The Hangar. The whole place is watching a couple play Jenga.

If Newsom didn’t suck so bad otherwise, I’d be a lot more excited about these posts.

Going to Allianz tonight for the first time. Is there anything specific a person should eat there?

I am so tired of people who make other people’s problems about them.

My husband: I don’t want to alarm you, but let me point out this thing you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.

Good news is our plane landed at MSP before the storm hit. The bad news is they couldn’t get bags off the plane in time. Now we’re partying in baggage claim.

I have seen a moose exactly 2 times in my life. Both have been while I was driving, in the dark and the moose decided the road was a good place to hang out.

So…maybe don’t get vodka tipsy then watch Barbie on a plane.

The thing about this house versus our apartment is there are so many more places for me to lose my keys and sunnies.

Our Lyft driver has never driven this route before and loves how pretty it is.

@wxdave.bsky.social Y’all doing okay?