i'm so so so so soooooooooo tired

yes florence + the machine this could have been the best thing that ever happened to me, so i decided not to do it

so long... and goodnight

it's my birthday btw happy birthday to me

i'm so FUCKING PATHETIC it's annoying

"i'm so happy for you" proceeds to cry

i hope she dies

who does she think she is??? telling people she loves me even after everything and shit? the fucking AUDACITY

a year later i'm crying while listening to the song she dedicated to me even though she's so so far away and i'm the one who told her to go to hell

i have the random overwhelming feeling im a terrible person, but my brain cant give me any evidence that I am, perhaps we just need to sleep

shamefully losing the idgaf war

why is everyone so relaxed while i'm a bundle of stress????????? hell

why the FUCK do i get so annoyed by other people's happiness like why can't i just mind my own business bro what is wrong with meeeeeeeee

what a shame

a year clean and thinking about relapsing for the stupidest reason possible

hell o

it's over, isn't it?

i've been clean for almost a year, only think about cutting myself about twice a week... niceee

crazy shit, life changing

oh, and also on the 29th it was a year since the day i cut myself on a call with my ex without her knowing and i ended up in the hospital to get stitches, cool

google photos recommending a screenshot of a call where my dead dog was alive and eating an orange and my ex was drinking wine looking all pretty in the background i don't even know what to say i just wanted to comment

i only had one friend who was as screwed up as me to the point where i would share some of my shitty thoughts with her but now i don't have her anymore so fuck it

why can my rapist live his life without even knowing the weight of what he did and i have to think about it every single day? life is not fair

therapy is not enough i need to cremate my enemies and make a line with the ashes and ketamine

starting to believe in recovery

If All for One ever had to deal with Tomura being sick 🧹

i've never known a love that didn't involve having to force myself to give my body in return

my boyfriend doesn't sexualize me, he doesn't try to convince me to have sex with him, does he really love me?

i really wanted to gain weight but when i gain weight i feel sad :(

im still clean but also deeply regret not taking any tools to work "just in case" every single minute of my shift and every single day so who's really winning

how does one push through the crushing fear of being vunerable on a psychical medium with anyone ever asking for myself i cant tell anymore if i actually hate being touched or if im just so afraid of it i made myself believe the former 🥲👍

go ahead and cry little girl

135 days grrrr

i miss cuting myself

ok so after spending about five hours freaking out i decided it wasn't that big of a deal

i'm addicted to guitar hero

i'm ok i'm alright everything is fine etc etc

and how to sleep

i need to learn how to shut the fuck up

being stupid, nothing new

i purposely made myself an easily replaceable person and in the end, i was indeed replaced and now i feel uncomfortable???? tf is my problem

i don't know if i'm comfortable having a friendship that doesn't desperately need me

:P

this was definitely the last time i tried to resolve things through dialogue

am i bad at communication or is it just the case of me and my mom never having learned how to listen to what the other is saying without twisting shit and yelling regardless of the topic its embarrassing how angry and stupid i feel talking to her 🙃🙃 every single one of her words set me off

since i'm not having a birthday party, i'm gonna get a big tattoo under my boobs >:)