ik my skin will adjust but JEEEEEZ i can't stand my face rn, it's been purg1ng so badly ever since i started using high-concentration azelaic acid paste on it 😭😭

what is it called when after years of crying over never having been pursued romantically i now despise the idea of it and think im better than people who still center love and wail over the same issue

ok i got over myself and my mom is def right about me being completely lacking in any personality or direction but how in the fuck am i supposed to just find it 💀💀 can't just conjure up something ive never had the chance of developing can i

im so happy i also have tmmr off, this is what i wanted my Easter break to be 😌🙏 on an unrelated note my body is fucking losing it, i broke f4st last night and had a nutritious meal just to be feeling like SHIT today 😀😀 im unbearably dizzy and hungry ughh i literally ate a bunch already wtf

steadily stuck in the 41-42 kgs range it seems 😒😒 but i def lost some f4t!!!! so it's not too bad :3

might've found my new calling, opening these cards is SUCH a rush and they're all so pretty 😭😭🩷

she's literally still at it. bro "you literally have no idea who you are!!!!!" that's bcs im 23 and diagnosed with BPD 👍👍 hop off my d1ck for the love of everything i don't want to fucking discover myself or any shit like that it's too much work idgaf

im being compared to a stupid sheep i don't want to take care of myself and grow and live idgaf about any of that, it doesn't make me feel better in any way

also woke up today and im still getting a lecture from my mom two hours later so that's awesome 🙏🙏

actually might cancel my challenge i have no drive to do it i failed already and I don't actually gaf about taking care of myself, i just want my p0ke cards 😌😌

going to get my last wisdom toof out today, praying the healing process doesn't drive me completely insane 😭😭

insanely jealous of my coworkers' visible chest bones :(( she looks so elegant, i need mine to show up nyeowwwwww

starting to notice my nails are breaking much easier and chipping even with nail serum on 😒😒

Easter was shit in terms of rest but im feeling super elated rn and im so glad im out of the bed-rotting episode for now 😭🙏 i hope everyone is doing good today!! 🩷🩷

been rotting since Friday but it's okay!!! i finally took my meds!!! also yummy egg day everyone!!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

had a long conversation with my mom where we both listened to each other just now. not only have i never had that happen before, she admitted to being bul1m1c in the past????? jfc the apple truly does NOTTTTT fall far from the tree 😀😀

i can't fucking stand to look at myself rn i hate having a uterus my acne is so bad atm 😭😭😭 idgaf about osteoporosis i hope that bitch gets lost soon

i need my card taken away i got paid and already bought a new lip gloss 😭😭 it looks so fucking delicious and i alr loveee the F3nty formula, so seeing that new cool toned taupe shade.......yk i HAD to get it 😍😍

tummy/back hurt so bad food no longer interests me, a win is a win 🙏🙏

forgot to take my meds for the second day in a row, i wish i could sl1c3 my body open right about now 😍😍

i feel disgusting for having such a huge appetite atm but ik that if i don't let myself have at least some of my pre-shark week cravings ill just feel a x1000 times worse ://

my april fools joke is thinking ill actually lock in this month

how in the fuck did i accidentally get a styr0 on my finger 😭😭 i didn't even feel it idk what i did, it looks so ugly 💔💔

i should've washed my face & got ready for bed before my meds hit aughhhh i don't wanna get up now 😭😭

b0dy dysm0rphia is so weird bcs i find it hard to believe my behaviours wouldn't lead to at least SOME w3ight/f4t loss but the mirror is showing me the exact same person as 6 months ago??? make it make sense

finally grew bawls and told my mom's bf that his emotional intelligence is on the par with a pickled cucumber and it's pissing me off confrontation is super scary but tbh i was overthinking it, if my mom questions me later ill tell her the same thing i told him 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

this just in: stupid woman ⭐️rves herself for almost half a year just to look exactly the same and lose nothing ‼️‼️

i rlly need to cut down on my sugar intake, a dessert cup is NOT a good way to break a 20hr f4st 😭😭

i ran out of most my supplements so peach collagen gummies are the new addition :3

i want to cry i barely walked into the office and i already fucked up cuz i forgot to place an order ugh

even my sleeping meds aren't helping me rest girl what the fuck i woke up just in time but im so fucking dead, thursday afternoon get here faster please 🥲🙏

crazy how i can overeat but still feel weak & faint 😒😒 it's not even validating anymore im just pissed i can't function properly

so excited to delve more into my traumas in therapy today 😍😍 /j

spending more moneyyyyy 🤑🤑

i /gen want to b4sh my head against a wall can my job chill out

today's goal is to eat healthier to try and reset after the weekend 🥲🥲 my tummy isn't used to this much so im lowk still full & just need coffee

i come back from an awesome weekend to a house where nobody wants to even say hello to me and shoos me away 💀💀 fuck y'all too then

putting my stupid ëd on hold for the weekend cuz im seeing my friends!!!! fuck my disordered thoughts they better not haunt me!!!

lwk TMI but my libido is in the negatives bcs of my eating habits 🥲 i get like,,, one day a month where it kind of wakes up and that's it, can't even enjoy my toys anymore 😩😩

i had a dream about stepping on the sc4le and seeing that im near my ugw.....if this isn't a good omen idk what is 🤭🤭

tempted to ignore the sc4le for a while since im not losing anyway 😍😍

hot with rage having a ciggy bcs i can't handle being interrupted mid-task for the 46732684368th time this week alone

ya i f4st but i also ovvereat every time im not so what am i really doing this for 💀💀

about to fail again cuz im with a friend god why is this disorder so SHIT

absolutely deserved those 15 minutes of agonizing stomach pain after lunch, what possessed me to eat MORE sweets after my already sweet breakfast >~<

yeah no i can tell im gonna overeat today too 😍🔫 im going to walk even more tomorrow and pray i burn some of it off jfc

today is all about eating sweets and being unreasonably depressed

my brainpower is in the negatives today so i skipped class to go on a walk im still at it over an hour later but it didn't help 💀💀 at least i burned some c4ls off

im so stupidly stressed for no reason 😭😭 i need to just sit down at lunch and stare at my phone mindlessly bcs i can't focus anymore

very cringe of me to cry abt not losing w3ight and then be caught overeating the next day