giving my son his first nepo baby experience by giving him 75,000 bells and free access to my fruit orchard to start his life in Animal Crossing

I was quite skeptical when I heard this set of puzzles described as "the outer wilds of word searches" (?!) and it turns out that that was underselling how delightful (and infuriating) they were to solve do it with friends, use a pencil and have a big eraser handy playcebo.itch.io/12-word-sear...

it's important to know your colors so that you know exactly which sweater to wear to work so that everyone will say "oh no you look awful! go home and get some rest!"

the best part is telling someone else and watching them have the same reaction

So, a few years ago, I had a house guest who forgot his toothpaste, and asked if he could borrow mine. Like a normal person, I said "of course", and thought nothing more of it...

The Guest and the Toothpaste 2 Guest 2thpaste The Guest and the Toothpaste: Veterinary Strength

if you add me as an organizer to any serially occurring event, I promise that my first official act will be to propose the adoption of the fast and furious numbering scheme

long egg tart would fix me

👀

when the kiddo helps with dinner

alocasia dragon scale put out a giant new leaf 🌿

my child voluntarily put the cupcakes and cookies back at the grocery store because i warned him they would be really sweet he is truly my greatest accomplishment

Multiple monkeys are on the loose in St. Louis. And AI generated images are complicating the effort to find them.

missing her

scrolling through bsky to catch up on us news since i’ve been gone and jesus christ

it has reached the time when i will be landing back home in the future. from now until then, i shall not age. all that i do will be reset, and nothing that i do will exist on a mortal clock. the laws of god and men cannot touch me.

It's the 3rd of January 1939, your name is professor James Smith and you are staring at a drawing of a fish. It's not a regular fish. It is a completely impossible fish.

i made a Blade reference this morning in response to a conversation about a WAREHOUSE RAVE and it didn’t land because they were too young to see it and we need to return to teaching the classics in schools

i am hitting the point of the trip where finding the right words in english is difficult when i have the perfect word in mandarin and it feels physically painful to leave that behind

self medicating a brutal hangover using the old ways

sent some clothes to hotel laundering service and was mad that they shrank both pairs of denim but i am beginning to consider that maybe they were not the problem

strip-mining my body for the resources required for sustained extroversion and dealing with the consequences of that later

stayed up too late last night bombing the big squid with our leftover pocket change

“And to think you had a 6-hour meeting on the Monday the whole time.” “All the days are poisoned. I’ve spent the last several years of my life building up an immunity to all day meetings.”

me_irl amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/you-me...

made the classic mistake of reading bsky instead of just posting about my little adventures and closing the tab

good morning from the future

holiday break plus crossing the dateline means you could tell me it is any day of the week and i would believe you

okay so having to unpack before packing is not, it turns out, a brilliant plan

when the entry visa has to be completed within 3 days of your arrival but the vagaries of timezones and datelines means that the earliest you can do it is the day you board your flight

after all the moaning and bitching about the cost of Rama's (incredible) boots, it turns out they were ON LOAN from miista and many of her other pieces for the swearing in and inaugration were thrifted or rented brainmatterbygkj.substack.com/p/rama-duwaj...

i'm old enough to remember a time when there was a formal process in place to archive the old account and migrate all the followers to a fresh account to avoid these kinds of problems

Two hobbits showing up with oranges and red envelopes : but what about second new year

happy liminal space between first and second (real) new year

something something praxis vs theory of giving a kid 50 bouncy balls

going into 2026 with the audacity of my kid who stepped over a pile of toys he spilled and said "and WHO is going to clean up that mess?!"

the invention of the noon ball drop so kids* can celebrate and still be in bed at their regular hour was a brilliant one * parents

i have just been served the largest quesadilla i've ever seen

the downside of not being able to get brain freeze is giving yourself hypothermia several times a year by drinking a smoothie too fast

"But sometimes, I dream that I’m sitting in a dusky room at a kitchen table across from another version of me, who sits, unbound by time, quietly drinking a cup of tea. 'I wish you’d visit more often,' she tells me." www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

I literally have spoons engraved with my name on it from my kitchen days, and also have an ongoing ebay search for even more backups of my Favorite Spoon

shout-out to baking soda, food coloring, and vinegar for keeping this kid entertained since he was 10 months old

now in lemon

Called USPS for a missing certified letter: the agent said to file a missing mail request online because it's outside the window to do a service request. Missing mail request requires a USPS.com account. Account creation is broken, online chat unavailable, emails bounce 🙃

midnight cookie experiments

I watched the tiktok about the woman whose mother made her a needle felted anglerfish tree ornament that included her baby teeth and apparently I lingered on it too long because now my feed is just weird baby teeth art

oh my god

happy place