(Derisively) Back with another one of those block rockin' beats, eh?

More like Dross Douthat.

The inbred wolf I keep in my house gets upset when my neighbors set off small, colorful explosives.

“Intact”

[Exit Clown.]

The MV stakes just got raised

Watching election coverage after voting for two people running unopposed.

Reminder

Just finished voting in Michigan, New Jersey & New York City. JEB! across the board.

Why are they all dressing like adjunct members of Colour Me Badd?

RIP Dick Cheney, Gotham is safer, but less interesting without you.

Would starting an intentionally but subtextually R-biased polling firm even be evil? I mean, unethical, sure.

Bort Middler

Mark Davis’ barber is in shambles

i want someone to ask mike johnson "should we be worried that you are always learning the news at your own press conferences, which is exactly when you are supposed to be answering questions about the news"

I… I gotta see that list.

… are they going to change the way the White House looks on money?

If you need an outer borough denizen to steal a scene in your film, you can’t go wrong with a Turturro.

Cunchramp Supreme

Reminds me of when my old company renovated a floor of our building to have five person asterisk shaped desk tables, all facing inward, in January of 2020. Pure particle blasting zones.

It is important to remember that everyone on the reasonable side of the spectrum is being driven crazy by the fact that the opposing side has a ton of baked in advantages and has been cheating and working the refs since Nixon or Smedly Butler or whenever you want to draw the line.

When It Happens it better look like fucking Fist of the North Star.

Ed Sheeran looks like when the 2k engine tries to render a white player.

Look, I know we said “America First” but if we give tens of billions of dollars in cash and agricultural subsidies to Argentina, Javier Milei will certainly be able to capture the elusive Lupin III.

The next administration needs to turn this into a homeless shelter.

Susan Collins has one SS bolt on either labia and nobody gives a fuck. Smdh

If this was happening in any other country you'd have journalists and analysts discussing risks of state failure

good bit

Abbott egged on the Jade Helm conspiracists, who claimed that a military training operation was actually Obama invading the state of Texas. Now a U.S. president is deploying Texas troops to other states to dominate and intimidate those states, and Abbott is complicit.

Full throated support for the Goodall Doctrine.

We need gunshooters with killorders on the death-causer maxim. Zyn pouches so the enemy can’t see the cherry from their cigarettes. Battleparticipants who drink two white Monsters no matter what it does to their tummies!!!

This is something a slow child with no friends would say. What are we doing here?

So he’s getting sticker shock trying to furnish his little ballroom?

It’s 2037 and the law on the streets is Groyp or be Groyped.

You shoot chicken at pig with slingshot. Is very fun.

“Hitler’s Porno”

The reason Charlie Kirk is being lionized by so many journalists is simple: he was very good at cultivating journalists and it seems a lot of journalists don't seem to understand the concept of being cultivated as a pet reporter in exchange for scoops or leads. They think he was their friend.

… he was, briefly, incredibly good at whistling

Gavin newsome

This is what a distraction from the Epstein Files would look like.

The US government owes me $947,000 American.

Girl, you’re in the gyre. It has widened. This is the gyre.

When a band has only one consistent member through its career I assume that person is bad at maintaining relationships.

Accidentally went True Zero RB in an auction league. Like ‘relying on Jaydon Blue to get meaningful snaps’ zero.

It’s probably fine that “ rich people have basically infinite political power” and the baseline rich guy is “Brian Wilson without the genius”

Don’t worry everyone, we found a guy with a southern accent who has liberal views… and he’s wearing a cowboy hat. #giddyup

Durrr, I’m the president

I, personally, deserve dogs.