I know they’ve had a rough go of it, but I still don’t care for chumps.

NBA Cup? Real.

It would be funnier if Molly Santana was a little kid dressed up like Carlos Santana.

I think it’s kind of unseemly that the Jets’ schedule release video was pretty elegant

I’m probably the most punk rock guy who keeps a whimsical car at his summer home on Martha’s Vineyard.

The existence of the New England chains 99 Restaurants and 110 Grill indicate that a good restaurant would have to have a number somewhere in the tens of thousands.

I just assume your blackout sleeve is covering swastikas and cartoon pornography

Guessing Jack Handey wrote that one.

Overwatch should have Skullomania in it.

Jawnless

There’s a whole parallel universe for hillbilly morons.

Donald Trump has Feline AIDS

The Assassination of Grogu Yoda by the Coward Mandalorian.

Bostowned

This game is not exactly instilling fear in me as a Knicks fan.

My wife is digging into TikTok content about Beyonce's next album and it's got like QAnon level conspiracy theory, intricacies, and lore. www.instagram.com/reel/DXX8bRE...

PC locked up during a graphics card driver install, that’s probably extremely good, right?

Big time for powerful guys who always stunk to get that brass ring of “worst to ever do it”

Counts as a vegetable

Midwit remains a phrase that says more about the person saying it than their intended target

The insufferable Irish, always showing up at the Bell in Hand, looking for the perfect Michelob Ultra pour, talking about they have “cousins in Tewksbury.”

SCP-4547

Can a quarterback with weasel face succeed in the NFL?

Christ, it’s not beer o’clock, it’s barely Dew 30!

Canadians will whine about kilometers all day then cut a sports game in 3rds

Guy who gets mad when the upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men is a “Kutcher”

Every day this week felt like it should have been Friday. I better be pleasantly surprised that it isn’t Tuesday three times tomorrow.

DTF St. Louis is a show about how it is gay to be nice.

The House of Sand and Fog and Pancakes

There’s Geese and Goose, and one is a mostly jammy band and the other is like a hard rock band but no one knows which is which

The president, who is in the WWE hall of fame and has been credibly accused of rape several times, posted an image of himself in messianic robes, healing the sick.

DTF St. Louis reads like a script written for Will Ferrell that was retuned to be depressing.

Sarcasm is dead. I’m going to be so earnest that I’m going to call you Verne when I’m talking.

Repeatedly crushing pro chefs in Tournament of Champions with my signature dish: deep fried [all randomizer ingredients] in a Doritos nacho cheese taco shell served with a tall boy of Steel Reserve.

I think a non-MAGA person would have to eat like a baby and a half before they are as bad as a regular MAGA guy.

It’s really hard to pretend to have respect for the opinions of people who call Donald Trump charismatic or a savvy operator when one of his main politics moves was hugging various flags.

“You foolish leftists caused the right to want what it wants by opposing what it wants” is an article that perhaps never needs to be written again? Due to being a stupid argument.

I want to make it very clear that Donald Trump did not abruptly leave the Supreme Court because he realized he was losing a pet case badly, it is because he shidded himself diarrhea style.

We have confirmation from Newsmax that he was “not blubbering, not really crying much at all.”

I run the “leftist Arthur the Aardvark” account that periodically posts “Donald Trump is a rather stinky lad”