hey girl, show me your autumn colors

Friday selfie thread

this page is done, I’m letting the cat post! ✌🏼

your flowers, my attic

she puts the AI in aight!

me: hey buddy, why the long face? Mr. Ed: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

I’m bored, friend zone me!

opposites attract yet I’m still unattractive!

carve my initials into your pumpkin or I don’t want it!

Dress as “ICE” for Halloween or too soon?

“A penis on both your houses!” ~ Shakesporn probably

is this place dead now?

hey pretty girl, mind if i make you my phone background?

sorry ladies, work says you can’t post boobs on my TL anymore cause it’s distracting but I say screw ‘em cause you will not be silenced!! So post away!

there are so many hot girls at this Slurpee machine!

my birthday >>>>> your monday

If you think you’re too good to eat ass you’re above the rim.

The subtle foreplay of gaslighting

I had an awful bratwurst this weekend. Out of ten, I give it a nein!!

“Have you checked the children?”

them: “I don’t like horror” also them: a horrible person

what an absolutely awful day 🌥️☁️

I don’t care what you say, everyone has their favorite shitter at work!

if given the chance, i feel like we could be one of those good dater couple thingamajigs!

Spell your name with movie titles 📽️ Ravenous (1999) Arrival (2016) Vengeance (2022) Eastern Promises (2007) Next (2007) Saving Private Ryan (1998) Dial M for Murder (1954) Easy Rider (1969) Argo (2012) Toy Story (1995) Hostel (2005)

Post something random or have an awful October

It’s October, your pet name is Pumpkin! I don’t make the rules!

October Libra >>>>> Nacho Libre

you only get 20 chances with me before I consider possibly giving you just one more chance!

September 30th October 1st

excuse me, where do i submit my marriage proposal?

Oktoberfest but it’s me going down on you for 31 days straight!

pick me up!

Who's your favourite Jedi? (Wrong answers only)

i wish i could gift you love

what’s it like to have someone believe in you?

Well That Can’t Be Good A Memoir

she’s a 10 but for somebody else 😔

send me back to the 1900’s please!

the bed feels empty but her scent lingers…

Subtly downgrade a band: Dave Matthews Bland

Close Encounters of the Sausage Kind

the fire is there, you just have to know how to fan the flame!

Girls just want to have lunch!