My momma out here killing joro spiders like she’s getting fucking paid

Felt cute, won’t delete later.

Sometimes eating fresh baked cookies in your panties fixes you

It’s #humpday and the first day of October. No better way to celebrate!

If anyone here follows me on the bad place where I show the naked bits (Twitter), can you report my account for spam? I was hacked 😭😭😭

I have had a baby tooth my whole life up until yesterday. I had it pulled along with the adult tooth that was impacted in the roof of my mouth yesterday and then they started a bridge. This fucking hurts

I accidentally deleted this app and just didn’t download it again. Until now!

Round 2 is cookies

I’m gonna eat a molten lava cake in bed and cry

back from vacation (a week ago) and about to make it everyone’s problem

I love a Tuesday off, it’s like old times.

Praise the gods

My TikTok feed is full of videos of the Backstreet Boys in Vegas and I’m so sad 😭😭

I have so much to do today and I’m just on the couch 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let’s stay in bed

🌻🌻🌻🌻

ahh yes, leftover fireworks night great

& Halloween season starts… now

There’s nothing quite like emailing porn you made to the man of your dreams

Proof of lifeeee

I’m definitely a words of affirmation girlie so let me say these nice things

I never knew I could be this happy

🖤

I don’t know if y’all know, but I got a new job.

“Sometimes the end justifies the mean” ~ Michael Scott

So real

Are you aware that my heart is trying to get out of my chest to get to you?

the strawberry moon looks beautiful tonight

I have a tummy ache 🥺

Forget hot girl summer, I’m doing fat girl summer.

My summer bod is a mom bod.

My boss is pissed so he is listening to his divorced dad rock very loud today.

Who has two thumbs and just accepted an offer for a new job? This girl!

life is short, but for some people it should be much shorter

✊🏻💅

Have you ever been on the phone with your boyfriend and he says hey baby so you say hey back and he says I was talking to the dog, or just me?

Even baddies get saddies and have tummy aches

When you make your boyfriend watch your favorite bluey episode while on the phone 🥰🥰🥰🥰

I’d rather pop my eyeballs out then go to work right now. It’s not even worth the time and a half.

Same

I really don’t know how I got so lucky but fuck I’m glad I did

Can I say something cheesy like I’m wearing the smile you gave me or whatever?

I really don’t like it when I’m stressed out and emotionally spent and raw and I wanna be close to someone but I can’t.

☺️☺️☺️

Hi it’s the birthday girl signing in

Cutieeeeee 🥰