I suggest "Dirty Old Airport".

Work Christmas party coming up ... with assigned seating. I hate assigned seating. I bloody hate it. I want to sit with the people I know and like, not strangers. If strangers were any good I'd know them already. The assumption that all people are equally interesting is demonstrably false.

The poet Shall entangle the machine In strange verse Chocolate warble Tuesday

Hear me out: Thinking the Earth is flat = Flat Earth Theory Thinking the universe is a simulation = Flat Brain Theory

"So what should we call this new web thing? Spybug? Tracer code? Small brother? Brain sucker...?" "I know! How about ... cookie?" "Give that man a bonus!"

Reminds me of my crusade against people who post some bullshit quote with "Einstein" on the end, and when I point out Einstein never said that they always ALWAYS say: "Who cares, it's still a good point!"

And we could have had space scrum...

Fascinating Swedish project that looks into how large trees react to being physically moved (in Swedish but hey there's google translate). Here, 200 oaks were moved in Uppsala because of a new tram line. movium.slu.se/nyheter/tolv...

Guess I'll just do it for you then Apple.

"Firstname Lastname invited you to a Facebook event..." Oh, cool! I didn't think we were that close! And it's hard to make new friends as an adult, so I'm quite touched that they-- "...along with 437 other people." Oh.

Your reminder that no, things weren't uniformly "better" in the past - YOU were better in the past. Younger, stronger, cuter, more hopeful, less cynical, fewer responsibilities. Don't confuse your aging with the whole world going to shit.

Imagine sitting beside this guy at a party.

"But does it scale?!?"

Well done @nopunincluded.com for cracking 100k youtube subs! Since I'm a sucker for slowly increasing numbers, I've been watching the tally creep up for weeks. But now my watch is ended. (Follow and subscribe them, they are fun!)

Running a country by Eye of Sauron.

And by grounding planes Trump ends up doing something for climate change through sheer stupidity and incompetence.

Mince pie kick-off! All manner of raisins, cranberries, dates, apples, lemons, oranges. Boil slowly, add brandy, put in sealed glass jars in fridge. Suet or fat, I discovered, is not needed. Which is handy, since suet is hard to get, and the meat-free one is full of palm oil. Roll on Christmas!

Shoes, gaping butthole cushion, dresses, sweater -- wait, what?

American really needs to sort out its use of "red" and "blue" when it comes to politics, and join the rest of the world. "He's a red!" and "It's a red state!" should not mean opposite things.

"But which beauties...?" "Top. Beauties."

Very excited that @nopunincluded.com are closing in on 100k subscribers. I'm refreshing every few hours just to be sure I see it happen. If you're not subscribed to this great board game channel, get on board and be there for the big moment! www.youtube.com/user/NoPunIn...

"No animals were harmed in the making of this movie" should not be allowed in movie credits if animals were served for lunch by the catering company.

Look at all the trouble I went to for Halloween. Hung a scary doll outside the door. Even had some dark ambient playing. And did any kids come by? Not a one. Little bastards.

Stockholm's Skogskyrkogården (forest graveyard) last night, on All Saints Day. The whole place was a wonderland of light. We go there every year to light a candle and remember the dead. And every year that list grows longer.

I'm almost tempted to let them have my constant anti-AI diatribes, to be honest. Shove that in your LLM and smoke it...

Not to mention whywolves ... "But WHY am I a dog? WHY?"

It's not like we needed any more reasons to disregard the fucking Kardashians, but there we are.

It has become my mission to widely spread the phrase "prompt fondler" across the AI discussionsphere. "He claims he wrote a book? Nah, he's just a prompt fondler."

And one planted they will grow into enormous beanstalks. Probably with Bezos living in a castle on top.

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and I'll work on my looks, that beard does need some trimming...

Saltesers.

He'll probably start on his pyramid any day now ... Hang on - is that what the ballroom actually is? It all makes sense now. How does one apply for the job of digging his brains out through his nostrils with an iron hook...?

I look forward to the day when it is recognised that wanting more money when you already have a pile of money is a serious mental illness, and that those suffering from it should be kept far away from positions of power. And punched.

I might start a band called The Shader Variants. Although I'm not sure we'll find a stage big enough for all 127,436 of us.

I'm very partial to Yuppie Flu's take on Plain Song: youtu.be/nqVwixlzyes

There are many problems with the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, but for me the biggest has always been placing a well on top of a hill.

I wonder what the music to their first dance will be. "Every breath you take" maybe...

Jesus Christ

Whenever I turn my dishwasher on, it shows me the number of minutes it plans to run for, and it's always some totally random value between 107 and 128. Why they installed my dishwasher with top-quality RNG I am not sure. I guess even dishwashers need an outlet for their creativity.

Man with orange face Demolishes his own house Because of small balls

Man famed for taking over buildings and making them ugly takes over building and makes it ugly.

See this film! It's marvellous. Also about the only time I've seen a barbarian on screen and really felt that this person could rip my arms right off, no problem.

I tell you, Trump on Mount Rushmore, it's coming...

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

People who go on about how much they love animals, and yet happily contribute to the confinement, torture and consumption of billions of them, are full of shit.

Look, there isn't going to be a Winds Of Winter, not until Martin shuffles off this mortal coil and they get Brandon Sanderson in who'll knock it out over a rainy weekend while podcasting at the same time. Just go read something else. There are other books. Many of them better.

So my expensive PC I bought 4.5 years ago "does not meet the minimum requirements for Windows 11". I've done the registry tweaks needed to enrol to extended support for Windows 10 and when the time comes it's Linux for me. Fuck @microsoft.com and its e-waste mountain and arse-licking of fascists.

Doubly thrilling to find out that A) Gary Larsson is not dead and B) He is making new cartoons having discovered digital drawing tablets. A tiny glint of sunshine.

It's weird how, when in the middle of a fad, people can't see it as such. Current examples: - Protein in everything - Constant hydration - Generative AI - Tiny moustaches How silly we'll think that all was in 10 years, trotting around with our eggshell milkshakes, mohawks and space horses.

Presentation tip: If you plan to talk about X and X is even slightly technical, always and I mean ALWAYS start with a simple description of what X is and what it does. Otherwise a chunk of your audience is going to tune out. And if you can't describe it simply, you should not be presenting it.