[Repost @/FallonTonight] .@/bts_bighit performs “2.0” at The @/Guggenheim! Watch the full performance ⬇️ youtu.be/xewcmM_msiY #FallonTonight

Early childhood friendships be like: every child your child has every played with is their bestie. Little kids are so funny 😆

Toddler vocabulary: 🔊 #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmil...

Just a good dude: 🔊 #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/HumansBein...

There’s no general strike or mass movement without mutual aid… And there’s already a group in your area. @dylanrodriguez.bsky.social explains youtu.be/wyU5YQJyOOk

Can we learn anything from these kids?

Footloose and Fancy Free, PlaySnaps number 37 - no rules, or instructions required... @melissapren.bsky.social @dammitdougsmith.bsky.social @peterkindfield.bsky.social @naturebased.bsky.social @lifeatthespeedof.bsky.social

Wholesome road rage: 🔊 #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmil...

Last week, we announced a plan to make child care universal. Today, applications are open for pre-K & 3-K. If your child is turning 3 or 4, apply now for the fall at: myschools.nyc

Books for Year 1 children aged 5-6 - 40 exciting texts by Fiona Halliday, Derrick Barnes, Ziggy Hanaor, Richard O'Neill, Satoshi Kitamura & more. Updated with a new screen background to download. #teachertwitter schoolreadinglist.co.uk/reading-list...

My kid, what time is it? The New Yorker in me, “IT’S SHOWTIME!” My kid, massively unimpressed It’s the simple things

Kids Making Friends in the Wild: Waiting in Line Edition Kid1: (unprompted) I have sleeves. Kid2: (pause, looks at sleeves) How old are you? Kid1: (to dad) Dad, how old am I? Dad: 5 Kid1: I’m 5 Kid2: I’m 6 Kid1: I’m 5! Kid2: I’m 6! (Age face-off continues, moments later instant friends 🧐)

Holiday Fair DJ: For those a little older you might recognize this song… Me: expecting something by Elvis, Nat King Cole, or the Ronettes Holiday Fair DJ: youtu.be/dOZcUgFPauE?...

Rudolph gets all the love, so let’s talk about the names of Santa’s other reindeer. dasher | noun | one that dashes dancer | noun | one that dances prancer | noun | one that walks or moves in a spirited manner Ok, those three are easy to understand. 🧵⬇️

Hubby and sisters: but why’s your video so small? Me: Eh likely user error… -realistic at home baking video

Me attempting to rock out to Franz Ferdinand’s Take Me Out while my kiddo remixes it with Baby Shark 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Dads who perfectly understand the job: 🥹 #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/s...

it's timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

My kiddo: papi why do you have white hair in your beard?! Does that mean you’re turning into a grandpa?!? … Hope she doesn’t come for my rogue white hairs next 👀

My kid staging an action-packed drama instead of sleeping: My Kid: She was the baddie in DISGUISE! Also my kid in her best clutch-my-pearls voice: Huuuuuh!

“I don’t know if it’s Bluey or what but all you kids sound like Bingo!” -My husband to our kiddo

This sounds amazing!

“Papi, what do you mean it’s going to take 30mins?! It says 29!” -My kid looking at the GPS

Random reason to be up in the middle of the night: Kiddo is upset the Gabby’s Dollhouse movie is over because she’s missing her new fav movie. Conversation somehow morphed into if there’s going to be a phones movie & if phones can move in real life & how can they cut the red wire w no hands 🤣

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 7 Interrupting 🐮/Chicken/Goat variations no longer getting the full belly laughs response kiddo is looking for. Decides to vary the joke by returning to the Interrupting 🐮 version but this time, she sings! 🎶 Moo, moo, MOO, moo, Moo! 🎶

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 6 Unable to communicate with her aunties on a daily basis, Kiddo is on a mission to extract genuine laughs from her parents again! Learns to vary Interrupting 🐮 knock knock by using other animals: Interrupting chicken (moo?!?)…

Introducing a new yogurt to my kiddo My kiddo: Yuck! This is not good. Me: What?! Let me try that… [tries yogurt, agrees] Me: Well this is what you call, an “acquired taste”. My kiddo (with the quickness): I don’t like acquired tastes 😂🤣

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 5 Kiddo, disappointed in your decreased enthusiasm at the Interrupting 🐮 Knock, Knock decides to try her luck on a fresh audience of plentiful aunties. Aunties oblige beautifully. Full belly laughs every time!

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 4 Your kiddo, elated w ur initial overjoyed response to their correct usage of the “Interrupting 🐮 Knock, Knock”, proceeds to rapidly overuse it on u and ur hubby. U both laugh wholeheartedly the first few dozen times but then…

Me: randomly burst out singing a loud ballad My kiddo: OK, OK don’t get excited Alas! Everyone’s a critic 😑

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 3 Your kiddo discovers the “interrupting cow” version of the knock knock joke and uses it correctly! You crack up both out of surprise and genuine amusement at the comedic feat!

I know it’s crazy out. Every. Single. Day. But I’m defiantly wishing everyone a happy fall anyway! Find some joy, we all need it

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 2 After many false starts, Kiddo gets format of knock, knock jokes, asks for more jokes than are in ur pay grade so you think about every knock knock joke u ever heard, come up w not enough so u Google and commit ur new lines to memory

Me: I think it’s supposed to look like this… My Kiddo: No, I like it better like this Me: (embracing the chaos) you know what, you’re right it’s art, do it the way you like best! It should make you happy to create. And actually, her way is so cute!

The evolution of teaching your kid the “Knock Knock” joke Stage 1 Me: knock, knock (Also me): you’re supposed to say, “Who’s there?” My kid: Who’s there? Me: Orange. (Also me:) Now you say, “Orange who?” My kid: Orange who? Me: Orange you going to let me in? My kid: 👀 :crickets:

Kiddo this morning while hubby and I cower in terror under the sheets and pillows: “WAAAAAKE UUUUP!” Proceeds to power jump on top of us like she’s on top of a wrestling ring… How did you wake up today?

Parents make sure your kids are caught up on their vaccine schedules. Politicians & the wealthy will ensure their kids are vaccinated because they know vaccines work. If any outbreaks occur they will be the first to flee to countries with high vax rates or shut themselves up in high security estates

All developed countries have rigorous vaccination requirements & most have better health outcomes than ours. So obv not the vaccines that are making Americans sick. Could it be our lack of universal healthcare? You’d think rfk jr would be curious about exploring that possible link, but he’s a quack

Morning Me: I think the kiddo is old enough that I can rock mid-length nails now? [The Universe: hold my beer] Evening Me: Finishing clipping my kiddo’s nails and explaining that “it’s good for kids to have short nails because kids like to touch everything so it helps keep their hands––“

Inspiring books for preschool children aged 0-4 including titles by Emma Yarlett, Richard Scarry, Anke Kuhl, Sally Symes, Hannah Campbell, Eric Veille, Satoru Onishi, Stephanie Blake & Susan Hayes. schoolreadinglist.co.uk/reading-list... #kidlit

Ahhhhh! All these years and I’ve been librarying all wrong!

Here’s my controversial hot take: any politician who votes against protecting Americans, especially children, from gun violence should have their tax-funded security detail removed from them & their families. They should live their truth & live the nightmare they’ve created for everyday Americans

What will your baby remember about infancy? I was so touched by the caption that mckynlee.mckell used to accompany this video shared to IG: “These little moments that they won’t remember, but I’ll never forget.” And it’s true… at least in part. 🧵

Kiddo discovered her first gaming glitch and the degree of inexplicable frustration she experienced I think momentarily aged her like 70+ years 🥸

Ahhh!! Makes mental note to give an even stronger performance tonight to push this down as long as I can!!!

So, today the 11 year old told me "sup" is a greeting like "hey" or "yo." I told her it's derived from "what's up." She looked at me like I was 700 years old and explaining that the word nickname comes from "eke name." Feel like @gretchenmcc.bsky.social should hear about this.

Blame Thor’s dad for the ‘d’ in ‘Wednesday.’ The day was named after Odin, also known as ‘Woden’ --> ‘Woden’s Day.’ Woden is the Norse equivalent of the Roman god Mercury. Mercury can be seen in the French/Spanish/Italian words for Wednesday: mercredi/miércoles/mercoledì.

Correct spelling is always En Vogue.

My sassy kiddo who doesn’t want to take a shower right now: Kiddo: Fine, I’ll take a shower but then you have to go to time out. Me: Haha where’s time out? Kiddo: Your room! Me: Oh that’s great, I’ll just take a little nap then, thanks! Kiddo: [buffering] 👀

The thing about parenting that destroys me is that you fall into a routine, like dropping your kid at school, and you do it every day for years, and you think this is just your life now. And then suddenly that part is over and you never do it again.