i overestimated many of you... that's a shame 👋

i am prepared to make a series of absolutely pathetic pleas to all of you who have left dolphins twitter entirely... bro... sis... if only for the regular season... i humbly beg for you all to just pop back over and keep me company or i could very possibly fall gravely ill from disappointment

I have to confess, @inchesnfl.bsky.social peer pressured me to go back to the other app, & i made fun of red hats & nazis, & it turned into me just talking recklessly all day. i'm sorry.

putin has a chance to do the funniest thing tomorrow

i have just brainwashed you into wanting to make your own kfc style mashed tato bowls 🤤

how is literally anyone surprised that members of an actual cult found a way to rationalize their leader fucking kids and shielding others who fuck kids? it's like some people expect 'decency' to prevail but you're dealing with subhuman rats here

jurassic park was elite, 2 and 3 were ok, and then every jurassic world has been absolute dog shit

i will hand it to elon on one thing.... i only got a 12 hour suspension for telling a maga to kill themselves this morning... years ago i would've sat out a week 😂

if we naruto run we can move faster than their bullets

i like looking at old newspapers...after you've checked the date, tell me that's not the craziest fuckin ad you've ever seen😂

paywalled news is one of the dumbest ideas in modern history, and you can't convince me otherwise... nobody needs your perspective that much... get over your fucking self

re: the epstein case, does anyone know how it is that darren indyke & richard kahn seem to have escaped all scrutiny for their obvious participation in the trafficking ring?...they're still running his estate today, free as birds btw

the older you get the more you grow to value, and strive to hang onto your most treasured memories... almost 30 years later, my trip to japan remains among the most transformative experiences of my life... i remember those two weeks better than any other two i've ever lived

aw man im rolling in fake dough now 😂

i don't like it over here or over there... where's left lol

annnnnd ZERO work until wednesday morning lfg 😜

letting me know you want me to do something is a really good way to make sure it never gets done til one of us is dead

couple more weeks til that magical time when dolphins fans hear stories and see footage coming out of camp and become somehow convinced that this could be the year 😂

this just flared up my dolphins ptsd

the fires of isengard will spread... and the woods of tuckborough and buckland will burn... and all that was once green and good in this world will be gone... there won't BE a shire, pippin

almost forgot... HAPPY CANADA DAY to all my canadian folks... i grew up in rochester, barely an hour from the border in niagara falls, and traveled all over ontario as a kid... so hey, can i come back and stay with you guys forever? i won't take up much space 😂😭

i'll take your mother, dorothy mantooth, out for a NICE seafood dinner, and then NEVER call her AGAIN

chernobyl is easily one of the best miniseries ever

look for your friends... but do not trust to hope... it has forsaken these lands

i dont care what anyone says and i wouldn't care if they were made out of 100% retarded horse cock... steakumms are god damn delicious

if @ben01.bsky.social canned sardines for a living

we've blown past "it is their right" and have arrived at "it is their duty"

how does this fuckin app still not have media or group chat support in DMs?! 😫

lightning exploded one of my many trees😬

to rebalance the force, here's a more accurate version of the jd meme that they're now violating the constitution over

i don't think a person alive detests this dumb cunt more than me, which is why i hate when he does something hilarious 😂😂

idk why a bunch of randoms have been following me on here this week, but you will most assuredly be disappointed 😂

totally normal shit

this sounds completely mental but i accidentally discovered an uncharted atoll in the south pacific today 😭😭

in no way was it worth the effort to harvest these wild boys but im sweaty and bloody and damnit i will enjoy them 😁

when an individual has reached the point where they are demonstrably unworthy of the time it would take to educate them on why they're an irredeemable cunt... it should be 100% legal to kill them... here's lookin at you, maga

shoutout to the chinese person who tried to translate 'deep fried cake' into english and came up with this lmaoooo poop cakes anyone? 😂😂

compared to the lotr trilogy, the hobbit is pure dogshit, but i still like and watch them lol

had parlayed panthers -1.5, the over, and tkachuk to score 1 and that son of a bitch was the only person in the entire building who didn't score 😭😭

i used to watch coach all the time when it was airing, but i was not old enough to get a lot of the jokes and adult themes... thoroughly enjoying coming back to it now

everyone worried about CW2 going hot and i'm just over here itching to enact my plans for when it does 😂

totally forgot i registered a twitch years ago and never really used it, and idk why i'm using it now 😂 www.twitch.tv/videos/24795...

when you're smoking some weed do you ever look down into the bowl and see the eye of sauron? just me? ok cool

reading to get sleepy is ok but i find writing works better... i must have hundreds of files filled with flimsy premises and beginnings of stories that i have no intention of ever adding onto lol

duolingo has absolutely destroyed itself with over-implementation of AI in the past few months, but i won't lie this is an amazing sentence 😂

what's up nerds

lou fought with a full grown male fox this morning and refused to back down... he took a wound on his side, and still sent the fox away limping... don't tell him he's a 13-pound miniature poodle bc bro thinks he's a whole ass wolf 😭

anyone else like to mix two types of weed with contrasting characteristics just to let em fight it out?

feeling perfectly comfortable laying in bed can only mean it's time to wake up

i usually do my chinese lessons on the toilet in the morning but now i can only speak it when i have to poop 😂