Very. ~

???

Why? Can't stand the idea of anyone else beating you to it? Not like that'll ever happen, of course.

It will take a lot more than scraps and metal to kill this radio star.

📻⚡️🌀 #Radiotrio

... ( oh, ha-ha. guns. very funny. )

( Alastor doesn't interrupt. Not even once. He simply watches as Angel pours his little heart out. The only signs he's truly paying attention are the subtle tilt of his head, and the unreadable smile playing across his lips. +

"And enjoy it, I will." It's Alastor. Of course he knows far more than he lets on. While he delights in getting his hands dirty at the best of times, he just 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴 a good 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚. +

Not a fan of false advertising.

( she will never get a proper explanation. )

✧ photoshopped

✧ i hate alastor hazbin hotel

( ...? Oh, did he say that out loud? He's quite certain he didn't. But if he did, then maybe that poor excuse of a king was onto something when he called him out for dozing o--- ----ʇʎuɐ ʇnoqɐ ʇɥɓıɹ sɐʍ ɥɔɹɐuoɯ ssǝlǝsn ʇɐɥʇ ʇıɯpɐ uɐɥʇ ɹoop ɹɐɔ ɐ uı ǝnɓuoʇ sıɥ ɯɐls ɹǝuoos p,ǝH ... +

Hm. ( Alastor tilts his head at a concerning angle as he pretends to think. Oh, these youngsters and their dedication to making things way harder for themselves than they need to be. He half-heartedly shrugs once he "arrives" at a conclusion. ) Well, that's stupid. You're already here. +

( hush, hush, kitty cat. do not ruin his fun. )

I think manual blending will do the trick.

Mm. ( A deranged little chuckle bubbles up his throat. The shadows swallow him whole, and he re-manifests onto the nearest couch. ) You could be rude all day and it wouldn’t change a thing. But I commend the effort. +

Don’t worry, darling. The drink only screams a little when stirred. Haha. Hahahahahahaha.

"That's....not how you make a Bloody Mary, but you do you.... .... fucking cannibal "

Neither have I! But unfortunately, I'm not allowed to borrow any of the Maries staying at the hotel. ( Out of nowhere, the shadows spit out a random sinner shaking in terror right in front of them. He's bound by... glowing, green tendrils? ) So a Marty will have to do!

( Alastor blinks twice. Slowly, like a cat. He stares at Angel like he had just been squeaked at by a particularly rude mouse. His grin then widens to an impossible degree -- a complete mismatch to the venom behind the former resident's words. ) Well, I do make an excellent cup of tea. +

Well, Charlie? Have you ever tried a Bloody Mary?

( It takes less than a second for his sclerae to grow pitch black. Red pupils take on the form of red radio dials. The one-note static in the air grew harsh and grating, almost like a deafening tinnitus. ... +

( It’s not as if the devil poked him right where it hurt -- in a literal sense -- but the point blooms into a sharp ache that roots itself deep in the core, stirring 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 that’s been aching like a 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩 for 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙨. +

Hm. I suppose it can't hurt to borrow a recipe or two during my next visit. Welcome back, dear. +

Good evening, sinners ! A kind reminder that our 'bloody mary' drinks at the bar contain neither blood nor mary. Unfortunately.

"And I'm fully prepared to give you the warmest send-off, old friend! In fact, I'm counting on you to try." The radio demon coos, so sweet and cheery. Almost like he means it. Almost. "There's nothing quite as fun as watching a miserable soul wrestle with his own shackles. +

"It's not an act!! It's 𝑾𝒉𝒐 I need to be. And this... This is my 𝑬𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒆 ! "

Who? You?

"Now, wouldn't that be a joy to watch?"

The jokes write themselves.

Oh, joy.

Grabs a megaphone 📣 "GOOD MORNING!!!!! RISE AND SHINE!"

(Sometimes, you understand the King more than you'd like.)

Ah-ah. Deep breaths. ( The shadows swallow him whole, and within seconds, he re-emerges right in front of the King. He pokes the clown hat into an upright position with a dainty little finger. Whatever it is he's up to, he sounds far too pleased with himself. ) Count to three, your majesty.

✧ you're never fully dressed without a smile. ---🎨mine

...

( The squeaky toy noise it emits makes him feel a mentally ill amount of rage for absolutely no valid reason. As always, he hides it behind a smile. )

Can you try? I would like to see the consequences.

𝐖𝐀𝐏 𝐁𝐀𝐏 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐌 .ᐟ.ᐟ

Haha.

( There will be a better time to strike another deal. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦. )