( Window crack. This little fucking shit… Making fun of him is one thing. He could take it. After all, he *is* a sad clown who copes with making ducks all day and is a poor excuse of a king. He knows that. He tells himself that all the time. But to bring up his daughter, especially his wife is—

Hold up, there buckaroo, and let you wreak havoc unsupervised? NO WAY, PAL! Someone’s gotta make sure you’re not giving my daughter and her crew a hard time and it’s gonna be me. Of course, you’d know what it’s like to be underground. Hey, how’s that radio show of yours doing? Poorly? As suspected.

Obviously, I haven’t died. ( Except on the inside ). Though I’d argue I’m more in the position of watching the afterlife here. Which, unfortunately, includes you.

Time to go a-deer huntin’.

Yap yap yap, not listening to this from a walkin’, talkin’ corpse. Though my guess is you never felt more alive than being down here! Kinda sad, really.

Aw, I missed you too. (Not)

[[ @shadowmarionette.bsky.social HEY BITCH BITCH GUESS WHAT HOLY FUCK

[[ HOLY FUCKING SHIT I GOT THIS ACCOUNT BACK NO FUCKING WAY

I— Huh? What? ( Was that a compliment? It sounded backhanded… but he didn’t exactly sense any mockery. ) … You really think they are beautiful? Truly?

*It was.* But unlike SOME people— ( Glaring at him for his insult over his attempt earlier. ) I can’t insult the arts when I see there is passion and dedication behind it; especially when.

Oh. Oh that’s— … *FUCK, he’s good.* That’s… impressive… good job!

I like to experiment every now and then.

It fucking sucks, he says… I’d like to see HIM try then! Pompous fucker!

It fucking sucks

Drew a self portrait! ⭐️✨

did he just follow me?

THEM BOOTS ARE TOO BIG FOR YOUR GODDAMN FEET!

I’m reporting this and your account.

I MEANT TO SEND THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE—

WHAT THE FUCK I DELETED THAT SHIT ON MY END WHY DID YOU STILL GET IT???

Is this that ‘projection’ Charlie talked about before? Hoo boy! Now now, no need do all of that, especially towards me. Next group therapy session is in less than thirty minutes. Air out that dirty laundry. Literally.

Well I was SO thankful that I didn’t have to hear your grating voice for the time I was gone. Had me some inner peace for once— something you could use more, I’m sure.

WOOHOOHOO! After all the time spent on perfecting this fantasma-duck, I am finally ready to SAY—! W-wait, I’m seeing some new faces, who are… some of you? All of you? No seriously, what’d I miss?

Isn’t there supposed to be some human holiday going on today? Something about a turkey, stuffing.. am I getting that right?

[[ i have dms proving this wrong

“You really shouldn’t.”

[[ told @shadowmarionette.bsky.social i was taking a bath and they called me, knew they wanted me so bad

Got uh… got a lil’ something there. And there. And especially down there. ( Referring to the spilled bloody drink from his infuriating mug that splashed on Alastor’s top, pants, and even his shoe. )

( An attempt he makes to step away but his hat instead topples forward. Grunting as he adjusts it, he was now suddenly facing Alastor directly. Closely. Gross. ) Don’t patronize me, you— guhhh. ( He ends up doing it anyway, going as far as summoning a rubber duck meant to be used as a stress—

Sleeping on the job, I see…

OH, I’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S FUCKING SMALL WHEN I— RGH!

✧ you're never fully dressed without a smile. ---🎨mine

[[ not me headcanon lucifer shows up to the therapy/counseling classes in the hotel and applies what he learns on himself, what who said that

( SNAP. That one got to him. A secret no one, especially him, should ever know. Stupid fucking TV head dead guy. Adjusting his hat and gripping his cane, his grin widens. ) Careful, buck-aroo. At least I know my limits. Meanwhile you got—

( Does this. )

If I were not a (un)holy man, I would have beat you senseless.

𝚃𝚘 「 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 」 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙀𝘼𝙇 𝚊 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 ＶẸι𝕃 𝚊 ℍ𝕀𝔻𝔻𝔼ℕ 𝔹𝕃𝔸𝔻𝔼. ↓ ♡ + ⟳ ↓ #HazbinHotelRP #MVRP

𝐖𝐀𝐏 𝐁𝐀𝐏 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐌 .ᐟ.ᐟ

And I hear a wall is in desperate need to have some antlers mounted on it for decor. Would look mighty fine above a fireplace mantle.

…

What—? No— NO! Don’t you twist my words around, you pompous, infuriating, FUCKING DEFLECTING STAG!

Empty?! Why you piece of— ( Breathe in and out. You’re better than this. Come on, Lu, for Charlie… For Charlie… ) The only thing empty here is that hollow charm of yours. Just a simple walking, talking void wrapped up in a vintage suit. Can’t do much other than keep up the tough guy act since—

Mmyeahokay, got anything else that doesn’t refer to my height? ‘Cuz it’s getting old, pal. The lack of creativity and originality, oof! Some kinda self-proclaimed host you are, no wonder you got demoted to bellhop.

Oh, that’s rich coming from someone who’s all legs and no substance! That tall, dark, creepy schtick y’got going on? Sounds like overcompensating to me!