ilana 💕
@ilanadegann.bsky.social
📤 251
📥 62
📝 90
she/her • actor • comedian • musician • pun enthusiast not a therapist, just troubled
there’s plenty of fish in the sea but i’m stuck in the middle of the pacific garbage patch
2 months ago
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sorry i can’t go out tonight. i went out earlier today so now i have to spend the remainder of the evening under a blanket on the couch rubbing my feet together like a cricket
3 months ago
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drove past my old local joann’s to discover it’s now a spirit halloween. please don’t contact me during this time of mourning
5 months ago
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call that man a cash register the way he’s a POS
5 months ago
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it’s only a valley girl voice if it comes from the san fernando valley region of california. otherwise, it’s just sparkling vocal fry
6 months ago
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physical therapy 🤝 regular therapy a very nice woman pushing me to my absolute fucking limit because it’s good for me
7 months ago
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i need craft stores to start staying open late because what else am i supposed to do when i run out of yarn in the middle of the night? go to sleep and finish my project in the MORNING? no thank you
7 months ago
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rookie mistake! woman uses the bathroom at home right before a doctors appointment where she knows she’s gonna have to pee in a cup
7 months ago
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as someone who doesn’t drink, i think i should be allowed to use my drink ticket for a food item that’s equal or lower price than a cocktail instead of just having to use it on a sprite 😤
7 months ago
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tell me why the new liquid glass ios feature is giving sims 4 ghosts
7 months ago
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just saw a magic show where bic transformed all their products into razors. not exactly what i expected when i bought tickets to see pen gillette
8 months ago
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reposted by
ilana 💕
SpecLion 🔜 FC
8 months ago
Time to post it again.
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feet wide, arms out, can’t get in my personal space at this concert 😤
8 months ago
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thanks autocorrect but i actually have never once meant to ask someone if they’re “licking me up later” or if we should take separate cars. i’ve always meant PICKING me up
8 months ago
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ilana 💕
babs ✨
9 months ago
calling myself “clean air pilled” instead of covid cautious to my gen z cousin bc im hip to the lingo
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the fun part about having depression and a chronic illness is you can’t tell which one is causing your fatigue (the secret is it’s probably both and they’re making each other worse!)
9 months ago
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just got caught smiling at my phone and had to admit it’s because my lock screen is a picture of my dog
9 months ago
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reposted by
ilana 💕
9 months ago
This is the single most meaningful "sign" of good character. It demonstrates that the person 1) Actually cares about other people's health (And their own!) 2) Is willing to inconvenience themselves to practice their values 3) Believes in science 4) Doesn't need to be told to be a good person
add a skeleton here at some point
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this is probably an unpopular opinion but i actually think brands’ april fools posts are kinda fun! like yeah this “holiday” CAN be for you guys to let your social media managers be creative for the day
10 months ago
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ilana 💕
Boy Jr.
10 months ago
HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY I made this song for us ⭐️🩵🤍🩷
loading . . .
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i know posting your daylist isn’t cool anymore but this one hurt
10 months ago
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ilana 💕
Evan Diem’s Joke Doctor
10 months ago
I drive around on my butt like a car :3
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chappell, i love the new song its great but the random mens’ voices were a jumpscare
10 months ago
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commercial: study at WGU me: worge geoshington university
10 months ago
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ilana 💕
Skai
11 months ago
in honor of today being presidents day let me be the first to say: feel like we could've dedicated this day to something else. little puppies in tuxedos perhaps
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ilana 💕
☆palite
11 months ago
What better way to celebrate Valentine's day than to tell you the deluxe remastered version of my break up album is coming out? next Friday, 2/21 ❤️🔥😘
add a skeleton here at some point
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okay but have we considered that maybe i could have become stronger and wiser via softness and gentleness rather than “what didn’t kill me but sure as hell tried?”
11 months ago
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big news: i discovered today that “shart” is an acceptable wordle word
11 months ago
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no thoughts, just watching clumps of snow fall off the tree branches as they slowly melt now that the sun is up
11 months ago
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nothing ruins the vibe of a cute person sitting next to you on the bus quite like them not wearing a mask 😔
11 months ago
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ilana 💕
Jordan
12 months ago
Maybe 2 minutes before we were all kicked off.
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one of the worst parts about being a fiber artist is when you put on an outfit and realize your WIP would go perfectly with it but it’s nowhere near done
about 1 year ago
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we often forget newton’s fourth law: you will run into everybody you know at the store if you’re buying toilet paper. the bigger the pack, the more people you’ll see
about 1 year ago
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there are like three different companies with three different products all called “aura” that have become staple podcast sponsors in the last month and it’s making me feel insane
about 1 year ago
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thinking about changing my sexuality from bi so i can be POTS and pan
about 1 year ago
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wow i can’t believe i responded to two of the probably dozens of messages ive been stressed about responding to and it was so easy! anyway now im exhausted and it’s time to sleep for a few days
about 1 year ago
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wait my favorite search somehow didn’t show up in the screenshot. anyway it was “why are tomatoes so slippery”
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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i am a 26 year old woman
about 1 year ago
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has anyone ever tried eating liquid iv like fun dip? and how was that? asking for a friend
about 1 year ago
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⚠️new song alert⚠️ hi i just released my first song in 2 years and im a little nervous about it bc it’s been so long but i hope you all like it 💕
bit.ly/ilanalastlesson
about 1 year ago
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i need my bluesky algorithm to figure out my love for dancing with the stars STAT
about 1 year ago
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just saw an ad with a white man that i knew i recognized but couldn’t put my finger on who it was. turns out it was colin jost which is maybe the most colin jost answer that it could’ve been
about 1 year ago
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i wonder if the museum curators recognized the irony that to see this quote, you not only have to pay $30 to get into the museum but an additional $7 to see the featured exhibit
about 1 year ago
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i went here and everyone knew your ex boyfriend
about 1 year ago
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now that more people are on here i just wanna say i think this deserved better than zero likes
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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i just have a few questions for target about the choice of wording on this shirt 😬
about 1 year ago
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just remembered we’re about to be subjected to 4 more years of white male stand-up comics doing a mid trump impression in every set and got sad again
about 1 year ago
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me downing a huge glass of iced water right before bed: 🥰 me realizing it means i’m gonna have to get up in the middle of the night to pee: 😔
over 1 year ago
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too bad your ex don’t do it for ya, no pants winnie the pooh it for ya
over 1 year ago
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just got an ad before i could play wordle on the NYT games app. next thing you know they’ll have micro transactions for the mini
over 1 year ago
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