Some one tell Rice to sort his barnet out. #England #ThreeLions

Poor old flag shaggers. Bet they were frothing at the mouth hoping it was a brown person #AnnWiddecombe

Bit addicted to Canal Boat Diaries. #BBC4

Any Clacton residents who want to nominate your friendly neighbourhood intergalactic space warrior, ping me a line!

Farage: "I am the most physically and verbally attacked public figure or politician of modern times". Stop being a fucking horrible cunt then!

If the USA manager has any integrity he won't pick Balogun for the next game. #WorldCup2026 #USA

I reckon we should’ve taken our best players to the World Cup. #England #ThreeLions

Channel 5 would have us believe Susan Calman spends her entire life on a cruise.

Solero > Magnum

Why does god hate me?

I really wanted to listen to #TheSatsumaComplex. I love Bob with all my heart but I don't think he should be narrating. He reads almost robotically as if he didn't write the words he's reading and that catarrh in his throat makes me cringe. Sorry Bob, ask an actor mate to narrate your books.

🙃

Nil nil written all over it. #England #ENGGHA

The first and only question on #OnlyConnect I have got after one clue!

Trossard always looks like he needs a good night’s sleep. #BHAFC #Belgium

You would’ve thought in 2026 we would’ve got past the camera man picking out mostly attractive women in the crowd. #WorldCup2026

How come Russell Crowe is the #USA manager and not #Australia?

Reform have now lost six by-elections in a row in England, Scotland and Wales. Their national poll rating is 26% – below Labour in 1983 – and Farage’s approval rating is -37. They’re very far from the voice of the people and need to stop being treated as such.

Brave defending by Rice 🙄 #England

Fuck off with your stuttered run ups #England

Would absolutely love to hear nothing but anti Trump chants from England fans tonight. #England #ThreeLions #ENGCRO #WorldCup2026

Last night I had a dream that I was co-writing a song with Elvis Presley. Annoyingly it was a good tune but fuck knows how it went.

Someone is planning on taking a sickie tomorrow 😂 #ENGUKR

Tuesdays are worse than Mondays.

The most unbelievable thing about #TheBlairWitchProject is that an early 90s video camera battery lasted a few days. #Netflix

They should bring back Minder with Jason Statham as Terry.

Over half way into the murder of #RachelNickell doc on #Netflix and there’s been no mention of DNA evidence. He must have left DNA on her and they must have tested Colin Stagg?

It’s about time there was a sequel to Notting Hill. Unless Heretic was it.

Whatever happened to those very thin 80s microphones? #TOTP

If Storks deliver human babies who delivers the Stork babies? #Springwatch.

For I, have the night sweats. #AccidentalPartridge @accidentalp.bsky.social

It’s beaver central. #Springwatch

Over the course of this season do actually deserve European football? #BHAFC

I don’t know why Sacha Baron Cohen, a certified comedy genius would partake in #LadiesFirst. The screenplay must have been much better than the end result. #Netflix

Watching #TheBoroughs and thinking why the hell is Geena Davis playing a role in a retirement village? She’s SEVENTY!?

Joanna’s Mr. Bump looks like it should be a prop from an Inside No.9 episode #Taskmaster

Something off about that Mackenzie Shirilla’s parents. #TheCrash #Netflix

What’s the betting we end up 10th on Sunday. #BHAFC

I’m not sure Coogan has the gravitas for the role. #Legends #Netflix

Very Brightony #BHAFC

I’m bringing back the word ‘glamourpuss’ and I’m bringing it back for Amy Gledhill 😍 #taskmaster

Why the fuck are they all acting like this means something?? #BAFTAS

Hands up who wants to live in the Britain of David Attenborough, not the Britain of Reform.

Keep Britain Kind

The year is 2026. And they still cannot make a milk carton that pours properly.

So #HMRC can miscalculate the tax you pay each month and just take what they're owed in a single hit if they get it wrong can they? Cunts.

I heard #Threads was the most popular twitter alternative now. Gave it a go but it’s literally full of fucking Reform pricks and AI generated OF ladies.

Wait, is she just Gregg in disguise? #Masterchef

They should tell drummers when they join a band most of their time is spent waiting for fucking guitarists to tune…