Based on the sound of it, my neighbor seems to be scraping a bookshelf against the wall. I don’t know what this accomplishes but it apparently takes hours to complete.

It’s too bad they aren’t broadcasting the Tonys this year. There’s simply no way to watch it.

Man, this Alan Menken guy is on his own level. A whole career of banger after banger after banger.

Social media teams at theatre companies: If your videos are of your leads singing horribly flat, you don’t have to post them!

actually i kinda *do* think using genAI should be such a social faux pas that the user is marked as a pariah and no longer feels welcome in the community. "AI is bad" is no longer an abstract (it never was), my city has been under a boil water advisory for a week because of AI data centers

“I’m gonna read this book about playwriting to better hone my craft.“ The book: Plays normally have what are called ”Characters.“ These are a group of fake people that help tell your story. Next chapter, I’ll incorrectly explain structure…

If your kid wants to audition with “Pulled”, you should direct them to something else that’s less overdone.

The whole Fox News rubber mask group psychosis is baffling. Have none of y‘all seen a shadow before?

Nicole Parker is the only person BRAVE ENOUGH to talk about the bump on Sondheim’s forehead. It inspired me to speak my truth, that Sondheim was shorter than average! The truth will out. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

That video of those actors from that show singing that song that everyone is sharing with superlative comments is making me question everyone’s taste in musicals. When did the sound of the Broadway score become Christian rock?

The only thing I miss about being a teenager is the ability to eat Oreos without feeling like I‘m dying.

The thing about being a horror fan is that streamers (other than Shudder) don’t bother to maintain a decent horror catalog year round. Why does HBO Max think I want to watch The Curse of La Llorona? I have standards, gimme Re-Animator, stat.

I obviously don’t know if The Odyssey is going to be good, but I will say if you’re complaining about the accents and/or armor: you’re watching movies wrong.

It’s wild to me that they never made a sequel to Star Wars.

Sondheim deep cuts with my dryer

Another day, another PFT phrase added to my vocabulary.

There are thousands of songs about what happens when you’re in love or get your heart broken. But only one song about what happens when grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

“I promise, you can’t taste the beans in these brownies.” Well we’ll never know because no way I’m trying that.

We need to do something about the annoying “comedy“ voice some theatre actors will do in supposedly funny songs. I just heard a song from [redacted musical] and my skin crawled off my bones. The fact that almost no comedy songs are ever actually funny is a whole separate issue.

“Tell me you’re ____ without telling me you’re ____” has reached “Ain’t nobody got time for that“ levels of obnoxious internet speak.

A few years ago, a coworker requested 4/20 off “for Passover” but it didn’t get approved, so she came to work high as a satellite. Though I personally don’t partake, I remain inspired by her resolve.

My geriatric phone decided to close all of my dozens of emotional support Safari tabs so if you need me I’ll be hyperventilating in the corner as I grind my teeth into dust.

Every year more of my fellow Protestants don’t celebrate Easter because of the pagan influence on the holiday. Wait til they find out about Christmas.

I’m flattered that all of you are guessing it’s me, but I’m simply too famous to do this show.

ALW just praised The Last Five Years

Jack Donaghy in the 30 Rock finale:

My friends got married today and it was lovely and one day I’ll tell them this but: A baby behind me was pooping SO LOUDLY during all the big moments I think I cracked a rib holding in laughter. It was like I was being pranked. Walking down the aisle: poop. Vows: poop. Rings: poop. Kiss: poop.

On this Merry Sondheimmas, I’d like to remind everyone of the stunning parallel modulation in “Every Day a Little Death.”

I am lazy, and bad with money. In other words, I ordered dinner on UberEats.

Mentally, I‘m still here. How was it possible to make that song MORE beautiful?

Smizing when I do Face ID so foreign agents think I’m cute.

JRB performed “It All Fades Away” as a stunning vocal trio and we should all bully him until he records and releases it.

He gave me a fist bump as he left the stage so that’s roughly 1/1500th of a Tony Award, right?

Didn’t realize when I bought my ticket that JRB would basically be sitting in my lap.

Finally about to see Jason Robert Brown in concert for the first time, and in the bathroom some guy was humming “My Child Will Forgive Me” at the urinal.

At Dillard‘s right now, so let me know if you need some clothes from 2012.

I know I’m years late to this but I just read Less by Andrew Sean Greer and it was so wonderful I want to talk about it forever.

They truly want you to believe this shit is inevitable and actually better than human endeavor but the one surefire thing that can stop it is not agreeing to the first two things. That’s all! That also means not willingly feeding it. It’s not difficult to avoid using it!

Why do maga women all turn into Longlegs

“It’s the bitch from next door.”

Hot honey is just Gen Z‘s avocado. They’ll put it on everything until it becomes a meme. Maybe just eat normal honey if you ever want a house.

Can the State of the Union response be delivered by Fran Lebowitz?

Since we’re all on an Ahrens & Flaherty kick, let me mention that their newest show Knoxville remains one of their most beautiful and powerful works. Just now I went to play/sing “In His Strength” from Knoxville and had to stop because I was crying too hard to see the sheet music.

Anyone have advice on how to flirt with the librarian without coming off like Prof. Harold Hill?

I’m trying REALLY hard to not be the “lol sportsball“ guy, but hearing my neighbors freak out and bark like seals every two minutes is stressing me tf out y’all. Imagine if I acted like this during the Tony Awards.

Scream 7 went all in on generative AI because they’re hell bent on keeping me from watching it. I was already on the fence, but this puts it way over the edge for me. It’s a shame, Scream was my favorite franchise.

“Most of you aren’t using this meme correctly“

This morning I took a zinc supplement on an empty stomach so right now I feel like I was jumped in an alley by a thousand farts.

Whenever you feel imposter syndrome, remember someone got paid to make this poster.

❤️❤️🕊️