ran into a tumblr post about how predators in spaces that care about social justice operate, and i'm haunted by how PERFECTLY it describes ren/persephius/byletri's behavior and how other bullies like him operate. please keep this in mind for the next time this inevitably crops up again as a strategy

last thing about persephius: when he inevitably comes back, which he will probably try to do, do not let him back in. considering i knew him in 2018 and hes seemingly not changed (and his behaviour predates me by a few years), i think we are past any benefit of the doubt that he can grow.

Reminder that abusive people like Ren who are internet and attention addicted have a habit of trying to come back into a community (often under a new name) a few weeks or months after getting busted and deactivating. Stay vigilant and if you spot him trying to come back, let people know.

it looks like persephius/byletri/ren deactivated but it’s important to remember his victim’s words. he will try to come back. we cannot allow this repeat abuser to come back to fandom spaces

Like I say this because looking at the name and not the behavior is why Ren got away with this for so many years. He was manipulative, yes, but not everyone was being actively manipulated in little friend groups.

When an abuser deletes from socmed it is FAR more important to remember their behavior than their name. A name can be changed. People can make new socmed accounts. The behavior does not change. Pay attention to people's actions and listen to your gut.

a response was made by ren, so i am going to respond here. first i would like to say that i do not want reparations. i would very much prefer if you made donations to some local shelters/charities that focus on helping black women. i will link some i found today at the end of this thread.

here is an actual response to what was directed at me and the end segment:

Remember how like a week ago we were all talking about how walls of text meant to flood you with problems to overwhelm you and force you to be unable to answer everything at once is an abuse tactic? Remember how we acknowledged that a big part of the problem is manipulation of therapy language?

If you're gullible enough to believe the guy who continued to obsessively monitor everybody who ever unfollowed and blocked him, who faked strokes for sympathy, who created sockpuppets every time he faced anything resembling a consequence for easy sympathy, you're not a safe person yourself.

I can confirm this as someone who spoke at length with the person mentioned privately. I am utterly repulsed by the fact Ren tried to drag this person into the situation and blame THEM for his actions, especially having heard myself what he put them through. He's not sorry; he never has been.

seconding this, and also: unless you are one of his victims, it is NOT YOUR PLACE to "accept his apology" and welcome him back. It's not about you. You don't get to decide the harm he did to others is "forgiven" just because you, personally, feel his apology is enough. It's not our place.

hey. hey, look me in the eyes, FFXIV community. We are not allowing an abuser to come back. You never have to accept the apology of someone who hurt you or your friends. Promise me.

i haven't read the "apology" myself and don't plan to bc frankly i'm too employed for that but this is just another part of the pattern of abuse lol

i dont even have to open that doc to know that byletri aint fucking sorry and nothing about him will change just based on the text in the post linking the doc stay fucking gone asshole

If you have abuse triggers - please be aware that it seems a serial abuser (byletri) has released an "apology" today and it's exactly what you think take care and blacklist/avoid everything you think you might need to, nothing of value lies on the other side. ❤️‍🩹

be loud. make it a POINT to not associate with him, even by proxy. dangers like ren need to be excised like tumors. you do not give it a pathway back in, no matter how narrow, how weak. GIVE ABUSERS NO QUARTER. PROTECT YOUR PEOPLE.

I wasn't going to say anything bc I've been out of the XIV sphere & I would prefer to stay out of drama, but this needs to be said. The apology Ren published is nothing but self-serving, defensive and unacceptable. This is not taking accountability for your actions & the harm you've caused.

i am not reading that damn apology letter. all i ask is that ren/persephius/byletri should shut the fuck up. your apology is hollow, and its not enough to undo the pain you have caused to the people you have hurt.

yes this is about ren "the most chronically online guy who's perpetually 'on hiatus'" persephius. words don't mean shit; actions do. dude's gotta remove himself from online fan spaces until he can genuinely learn to interact with people in a healthy manner

tried to read the ren/persephius apology to glean any possible truth or good in it. all it demonstrates is that he‘s made a convenient fiction of the idea that he WAS a bigot and WAS an abuser, and ignores the fact that he HAS BEEN bigoted and abusive to others since. there’s nothing to trust there.

lrt important to remember that persephius did NOT apologize for all the horrible shit he's been doing until literally all this started

Statement from the person mentioned at the bottom of the doc. If you don't know what I'm talking about, perfect. They have not read it, but are aware of the usual claims that are made. They don't want to be contacted and I am not to convey any responses to them for their mental health 👍

Perhaps in this era of AI slop it’s extra important to me to show that my drawings are human made so I will embrace them being scribbly sloppy and zany more

We have GOT to stop downplaying patterns, or serial abusers like ren persephius and fuckin weirdos like jay fragments will continue to thrive.

Here is an account detailing some of the things I dealt with while being with with Ren in 2017. I have more I can share about certain instances but for now this is what I'm able to share publicly. It's really sad he has so many other victims and I hope all of us can finally move on and truly heal.

What frustrates me about the response to him taking this long and this many targets is that even before his abuse victim disclosed traumatizing private information, we should have been able to recognize his behavior for what it was: harassment. Harassment of the "right" target is still harassment.

Last I'll talk on the matter but the thing you need to understand about people like Persephius is that there is power in being seen as a victim. Not in being a victim, but in being *seen* as one.

Kind, compassionate people, the kind abusers like him target, they will give so much space and understanding to victims, because they are good. Abusers understand this, and they will use it as a weapon. If you're the one wronged then you're always in the right, your feelings are more valid, etc.

i never expected to publicly say anything about this, but i finally can now. ren is my ex (2017). i am not the person mentioned here, nor is the stuff i faced nearly as bad compared to op of the doc, but he is a really bad person to get entangled with & i have experienced bits of what op dealt with.

"this is JUST AS BAD as what he did to his victims" please shut the fuck up. genuinely. these burners show up like clockwork every time he faces anything resembling a consequence. you cannot be this naive.

the content of the burners is vile and triggering for many, and despite the actions seen in the doc we obviously don't condone hate speech and homophobic slurs as a response to it. this is unfortunately a common abuse tactic to silence the victims and try to regain the old narrative, don't allow it.

i'm not going to assume the burner accounts following a lot of xiv users ARE ren, but just be very wary if a post is made in the future putting the blame on a victims or more for making burners to harass and throw hate speech towards him to recenter him as the victim in this. we cannot allow that.

//As a heads up: I work in/with behavior health and cannot overstate this: This account and the details therein are some of the most genuine and transparently presented documentations of abuse I have read in a long time. It can/will trigger those with a history of domestic abuse or general abuse. +

regarding the ren/byletri/persephius situation: do not offer this abuser the benefit of the doubt. his abuse and intimidation tactics have not changed since 2019. this is a dangerous person to allow into any fandom space, where he will continue to mine for people he can exploit and abuse.