"but it's everywhere now so we just have to accept it's the new reality" motherfucker we can just stop putting it everywhere! we did it with asbestos and CFCs and lead-based paint or petrol and make-up with arsenic in it! if everyone is using something and it's bad, we can choose to stop!

Its about that time of year again. (Time to start a new BG3 playthrough and never finish it ❤️)

I wish there was some kind of baby product trial program. Signed, a mom who is just always overwhelmed with the amount of products to choose from on a budget.

Tom Clancy’s All-Hands Meeting

If I have to be responsible for ONE MORE THING at work this week I swear to god I will CRASH OUT.

Pre-game pep rally (Blasting Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet before waking the baby from her nap)

The birth rate is never going to rise until governments actually invest in women’s and children’s healthcare and rights but apparently no one likes hearing that.

Precisely this. Kirk was not engaging in actual discussion with anyone. His entire brand was baiting unprepared undergrads into providing content that he could heavily edit for use in advancing his audience's favored narrative fantasies about clueless kids.

Saw Soccer Mommy ✅️ Got a promotion today ✅️ Everything's coming up Millhouse.

Tonight was Mom's First Solo Night Out and I just want everyone to know that I was very brave about it.

LOOK OUT SOCCER MOMMY HERE I COME

I am genuinely so sad to miss Soccer Mommy in town tonight.

Chasing a cinnamon raisin bagel with some doritos, just to feel something.

When I die, I want UPS to lower me into the ground so they can let me down *one last time*.

One thing about me is - if I have a spare 5 minutes (or even if I don’t) on the way to something I don’t wanna do, I’m gonna be getting myself a coffee treat about it (this is why I am usually late) (I’m on my way to an oil change and making myself late getting coffee)

JJK SEASON 3 TRAILER LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO (straight 2 hell bc it is The Culling Games arc)

When I start to feel down on myself or overwhelmed these days, I just remind myself - I beat Radahn on the first try. Then, I honestly feel a whole lot better. That’s kind of a big deal.

I am SUPER behind on the ins and outs of upgrading phones (on an iPhone 11, currently) but I am trying to, and I HATE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING THROUGH AN APP?!

Took a very mild muscle relaxer and am finally getting a better picture of just exactly how massively clenched my entire body stays.

The siren song of a z-flip has been calling my name since the BTS commercials and my iPhone is being such a DUMB BITCH and not helping me *not* want to throw it into the SUN.

I didn’t think I’d be cryin singing Happy Birthday to my one year old, but hot damn, nothing prepares you for that moment.

I have been awake since 12:30am with no sleep in sight and I am dead and dying.

I forgot to take *all my meds* in the chaos of the morning and I cannot form one single coherent thought that doesn’t immediately evaporate and become useless. I am become Lizard meme.

Me watching Frieren outro: “Nothing can hurt me more than this.” Me watching the mid-season outro change-up: “OH GOD IT GOT WORSE.”

Why does my cat’s breath smell like pee pee and poo poo, but his fur (which he cleans with his mouth) smell like sunshine and snuggles?

Cryin almost everyday thinking about Bea turning one next week. I’m not SAD it’s just a BIG DEAL.

Trespooping (Changing Bea’s poop diaper in the trunk in a “no trespassing” lot by accident)

I beg of Ms. Rachel, pls make a toddler lunch box.

kermies #art

Christopher Reeve advertising camcorders in 1989, culminating in THE GREATEST SLOGAN OF ALL TIME

Bea has been carrying Chainsaw Man volume 2 around (the one with Power on the cover/Meowy on the back) all morning and I just needed to share this information.

The mere concept of Jojo Siwa is so fucking embarrassing to me.

ADHD is wild because on the one hand you will never pay your bills on time and the laundry takes on a Sisyphean quality but on the other hand it grants you the ability to learn everything about a subject in six months and see The Pattern Linking All Things

It’s 10:30pm and my fuckass neighbors decide NOW IS THE TIME to try to recreate a Disney World firework show. KISS MY NUTS, GO TO BED!!!

Victory lap (Eating cookie dough while laying completely flat in bed after getting the baby back to sleep)

God bless Michael’s coupons and rewards. (Got $60 worth of yarn for $25)

Bumper sticker: “I ❤️ My Feral Daughter”

Having a small child who loves to climb means that at any moment, they may use your trachea as a load-bearing structure.

There’s a scratchy noise in the wall and it won’t STOP and I'm about two seconds away from getting under the house and squaring up with whatever motherfucker got stuck in there. RABIES BE DAMNED.

I started Dan Da Dan and the mere concept of Turbo Granny is *the* funniest shit in the world to me.

TOP TEETH CONFIRMED

Pre-gamed Father’s Day with Dad-urday (we bought too many Final Fantasy MTG booster packs and ate ice cream)

Chanting “Spoils of war! Spoils of war!” anytime we buy Bea a little treat when we all go out. (This is fine and I’m sure she will turn out normal)

Excitedly tore into my FFX commander deck and was immediately greeted by *this*. This is so fucking special to me.

Decided to watch We Live in Time tonight after Bea went to bed and now I am NOT WELL. WHY DID WE DO THAT DO OURSELVES.

Bea has entered her “Kissing all the stuffed animals” era

2am, time to wake up and slam an ungodly amount of cookie dough

The deck is FIXED (entirely rebuilt).

I think watching The Battle of Helm’s Deep would fix me.