We do both love a tall man! 😍

Bought a new brand of underwear for the first time in years. Can’t wait to inevitably be disappointed in them! 🙃

Woke up to no hot water in our apartment. Happy Friday the 13th! 🤗

It’s finally warm enough to run outside again! 😍

✂️💇🏼‍♂️✂️

Bonus hit today, and it’s got me feeling boujee AF 🤑

5 months til the wedding! Lifting routine going well, but very over the treadmill 😵‍💫

Foreskin be like:

🥶🥶

I just got a Partiful notification that someone has a crush on me, and I’ve never been so stressed in my life 😳

My hot dentist stood me up, and I got stuck seeing his (female) partner instead 😢

New jacket lowkey giving Flasher trench coat vibes

I dropped my phone in a toilet in January 2017, so I don’t have any pics from 2016 on my phone 🥲

If you follow-up on an email in less than 24 hrs, I can promise you that it will now take me even longer to respond to you. 🙄

I’m having a Bad Hair Day, but also a Good Butt Day? I’ll call it a win 🤷🏼‍♂️

Having a dog that doesn’t bark is great until he can’t wake you up at night and has an accident in your living room instead 💩

7 months til our wedding! Posting this here to hold myself accountable to my fitness/diet plan 🙃

The wedding diet starts… on Monday. 🙃

My New Year’s Resolutions are: 1) Lift 4-5x per week 2) Uncover @bostongayboy.bsky.social ‘s true identity 3) ⬇️ more often

Happy New Year!! From me and @duncanbwell.bsky.social 😁

We love a drunk Instagram Ad purchase 🙂‍↕️🦊

Okay, but Shane Hollander’s dad tho? 🫦

‘Twas the night before Christmas… 🎅🏼

“Patty the Elf, what’s your favorite liquor?” Twink me, c. 2013

I was today years old when I learned that the Kansas City Chiefs are based out of Missouri and not…Kansas. 🙃

Couples who repost each other’s stories… y? 🤔

Happy Holidays from me and my favorite ornament

Tipped for a karaoke song, but left the bar before it played 😢

Almost had a midlife crisis (looked into HYROX), but thankfully I just signed up for another half marathon instead ☺️

My fiancé said he liked it, so I guess I’m keeping it? 🤷🏼‍♂️

Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone I don’t like post an Instagram that does poorly 🙂‍↕️

My fiancé is on a boys’ trip for the weekend, and I’m celebrating having the apt to myself by binging all 3 seasons of Flavor of Love

Robert Irwin is… problematic for me. 🫦

Imma sucker for a guy with dark hair and blue eyes 😍

“Need wood? We’ve got it!”

Regardless of your sexuality, everyone who watches Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley in the movie Bedazzled is a little bisexual by the end 🤤

@pattyb92.bsky.social being a playful pigeon. #bro #cute #boyfriend #sundayfunday #tarrytown

Today has kinda sucked, but I’m making myself a spicy vodka sauce for dinner, so at least that’s something to look forward to! 👨🏻‍🍳

No Shave November, but with my body hair

It’s my favorite day of the year! Happy NYC Marathon!! 🏃‍♂️🎉🍻

So Bert & Ernie WERE more than roommates?! 😏 Happy Halloween! @duncanbwell.bsky.social

Alan Carr could get it. (I don’t think I mean that? But I do love him!)

My mom just sent me a post about “financial advice for young adults”… when I’m literally a Financial Planner. Guess she doesn’t think I’m very good at my job! 🙃

I love how perky my booty feels after leg day 😊

Happy Leif Erikson Day! Hinga Dinga Durgen

Decided to channel some retail therapy into buying something nice for my fiancé since I’ve been grumpy lately, and he puts up with me 🤗

Yeah, sure, Taylor’s new album is good. Let’s remember what today is actually about!

Upped my weights today, and now I can’t move 🫠

This seemed like a logical next step 🤷🏼‍♂️

I won’t fall asleep on the couch tonight. I won’t fall asleep on the couch tonight. I won’t… fall… asleep… 😴🛋️