think i may just switch to being a guardians fan this year

i fucking hate my favorite team

i fucking hate my favorite team

filling out an appointment request form

thought of another one

i am begrudgingly accepting the democratic nomination for president of the united states of america after it has become abundantly clear that none of these dunderheads have any clue what they're doing

really should be called handegg when you think about it, folks. thank you for your attention to this matter!

that's gonna some butts in the seats

"I have no idea what the fuck goes on in Hakeem Jeffries' head." amen, brother.

If you see this repost this with your model of positive masculinity

wife took her car in to have the window fixed and they just sent her an estimate for twelve thousand dollars

AI, as these oligarchs fucks envision it, is anti-life, anti-human. Fuck em all.

youtube music's wrapped has a thing where it automatically adds photos from your google drive. pretty good.

don't like this thing where they do whatever the opposite of a Roast is to trump every week or two.

it's so funny that he keeps doubling down on the "she hates country music" thing. no one cares, man!

they're hanging out at bob odenkirk's i think you should leave character's house

fucking stoked to see hundreds of beavers in the theater. love that belcourt

no jackass movie on this list-- feel free to ignore.

I watched the twin peaks season two finale on free over the air antenna tv last night and had a religious experience

fool me 16 times, shame on you…

sitting and staring at a blank tv rather than being subjected to dave portnoy on the big ten preshow

this guy is a fucking piece of shit!!!

Doctor: I’m sorry, you have Microsoft Teams Exposure…. the only cure is watching a movie from the 90s on mute at your local dive bar

"i wasn't. i wasn't at all" is very tim robinson coded

here i am proofreading emails to my manager 5 or 6 times a piece and this mother fucker is out here firing off "photso" to, like, the king of america

mr prsident....... your fired

the office space scene where they're asking that dude what exactly it is that he does here, but with chuck schumer

ah! well. nevertheless,

phew, that was a close one!

wasn't his whole thing that he hated new york? like 30 years ago? who cares, man! you already don't like it!

There are more of us than there are of them.

real The National heads know this one

i guess this is a rhetorical question at this point, but why do ice agents even carry guns

logged in and saw nothing but tweets saying like "good morning!" and "it's gonna be a good day" and immediately knew some ghoul kicked the bucket 👍

does anyone ever followup on all these things he doesn't know or hasn't heard? is someone going to ask him about this tomorrow once he has time to learn about it? or do we all just move on?

surprising food? gotta be a can of peanut brittle with spring loaded snakes inside

jk rowling naming a canadian wizard

people aren't starving, they are experimenting with intermittent fasting!

if your org's ceo delivers a keynote speech dressed like this, start applying for jobs immediately. the company is completely cooked.

it sucks that everything computer related is called AI. when you play mortal kombat alone, you're not playing against AI, you're playing against the computer. a lot of this stuff is just the computer.

turning a big dial taht says "Pain" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

goodness gracious