Epstein files reporting really making it clear that 'men's testimony is evidence' but 'women and girls' testimony is an unsupported allegation.'

"Why shouldn't billionaires exist?" One correct answer is always the Epstein files.

I would simply fade into the West if a judge ever wrote, "The Court’s patience is at an end," to me.

It's actually crazy how much the Roberts Court is responsible for all of this.

Qualified immunity and democracy really cannot coexist.

::whispers:: So uh, I started that YouTube channel I’ve been talking about for two years, and the first two vids are live. Come hang with me. The Apiary: A Knitting Podcast - The VERY FIRST episode! New WIPs, some FOs, Introductions youtu.be/i-jluNVy65A

Roberts Court, 2026 explaining how the ICE officer who killed Renee Good has qualified immunity: "There was no on-point, clear federal law prohibiting the public executions of mothers with gloveboxes full of stuffies . . . ."

Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Except my stupid glitching keyboard mouse.

And it was Christmas Eve with the tree lights flickering. The house had a new for sale sign out front. The baby slept. And I continued cranking briefs like a character setting herself up for a ghostly visit.

Me, a lawyer talking to another lawyer: "I'm looking for a will--" "--we do those--" "--to live." " . . . No."

me: "i'm the dumbest, worst lawyer ever." me, reading respondent's brief: "actually . . . second-dumbest, worst ever."

Me, a lawyer to potential clients: "You really want a professional handling this. You never know what weird things will pop up." Me, looking at anything plumbing and electrical: ". . . How hard could it be?"

*stepping four feet back from the curb as a cement truck turns, whispering* "I'm not neurotic, there was just a very graphic tort hypo in law school that haunts me still."

My ghost will haunt the courthouse halls crooning, "Preserve the error. Object. Exhaust. Preserve the error, you fools."

Unfortunately, I do have to fck around to find out. It's my process.

The best and scariest part about a virtual work is that you can't just go down the hall to ask people questions.

DOJ lawyers texting Grok like: "Is a judge saying 'you are an officer of the court' repeatedly a good thing?"

Me, with the rage of 10,000 screaming toddlers, typing: "Friendly reminder."

Who needs Disney Plus when you have a million free CLE's on YouTube. The avengers had a better chance of beating Thanos than winning a post conviction appeal.

Civ Pro should teach how important the Notice of Appeal is. Please.

Me, a millennial, bonding with a Gen X'er like, "The micro-plastics in me recognizes the lead in you."

"Should that say 'Federal Law protects the right to free speech?'" Me, an angry appellate lawyer, fourth cup of coffee in two hours, bloodshot eyes, with all 78 open Westlaw tabs begging me for mercy: "No. Feral Law is right."

Locked in so hard I started enjoying bluebooking (actually I've gone insane)

On this day, in 1967, Thurgood Marshall was appointed to the US Supreme Court. This day is a great day for big historical events.

Congratulations to Justice Powell! #LadyLawyerDiaries

My favorite thing about legal research is that with one hour of research, you can have a clear answer. But with twenty? Oh, now you have a circuit split from a little piece of the question that isn't the whole question, but the whole question turns on this unaddressed piece of the question.

Back in my day, writers didn't plagiarize AI. They stole their wives' works and sold them as their own.

AI is forcing me into needing in-person meetings. We've gone full circle. So advanced, we can only trust face-to-face communication. I hate it.

Due dates? Sounds like a conspiracy by Big Calendar.

An appellate lawyer about to roast the opposing counsel: "My friend on the other side, however . . ."

Dear trial attorneys, please narrate what the jury is seeing. Like say "the State is using her hand as a gun to point at the jury." Like that's way better than your client telling me that and then it being *nowhere* in the record. I mean, I can get an affidavit . . . But c'mon.

I want AI to format my TOC and Appendices in compliance with all of circuit courts' weird local rules. NOT do the fun legal research and analysis parts for me.

''let me must polish up this final draft," pours shoe polish over this trash draft to shun the sins of my own clumsy writing from the daylight.

Most Lawyers: "Actually, midnight is the perfect filing time."

"Yeah. I rule," whispered the judge quietly to herself, banging the gavel.

The devil whispered "I'm coming to get you." And I, a lawyer, said "so, you're personally availing yourself to this jurisdiction?"

Me, a lawyer meeting a potential client: "Statistically, every single person who filed a lawsuit in 1901 has died. Therefore, filing a lawsuit causes death. Are you sure you want to proceed?"

*going back in time* "So, now SCOTUS has this thing called the shadow docket where they just rule on stuff and don't explain why or how." Alexander Hamilton: " . . . What the f--" James Madison *ripping off wig*: "Did they not read anything we wrote?"

In these dark and trying times, my best lawyerly advice is that a felony conviction makes you ineligible for the draft.

No one hates on Trump enough for killing the innocent cuteness of alliteration.

"Acronyms are out of vogue in legal writing" are fighting words where I'm from

Roberts then: "The president is not bound by any mortal laws." Roberts now: ". . . How is the rule of law eroding? Who did this???"

I'm an appellate lawyer, so I'm technically a professional nit-picker. You think that's a clear issue? Well, let me show you how muddy "preserved for appeal" CAN be.

Me to my dog: "I just love my personal space." My dog, eyes widening: "OMG I love your personal space too."

In another universe, Steve and Terri Irwin got to grow old together.

AI is starting to cite work done by AI. I'm obsessed with the toilet swirl that is this phase of content creation.

Doctor: "Terrible news. You have alpha-gal syndrome.' Me, excitedly: "So . . . I'm an Alpha Gal." Doctor, pinching nose bridge: "You're allergic to mammal meat. You have Lyme disease." Me, grinning: "I'm an Alpha Gal."

i bet someone over 30 seeing this post in america is just now learning about the 1921 tulsa massacre. and the volume of people who won’t know about it is gonna increase exponentially bc [waves arms around]

This is excellent background material on state supreme courts.

"I went to law school to make lots of money." Lol my plumber and electrician make a better net hourly rate than you ever will as a lawyer.