I am the only 2028 Democratic Presidential candidate willing to say it - the Supreme Court is illegitimate.

Has any elected Democrat explicitly called trump a pedophile?

Never, ever Newsom. Fuck that guy.

the thing about being staunchly anti gambling is that it will always put you on the right side of history

I am running for President in 2028. This is not a joke. If I win, none of these people will see 2030. No other Democrat has the courage.

If you elect me President, 6-3 becomes 0-1 overnight.

It's time for @govpritzker.illinois.gov to put up or shut up. Come on, big boy. Do you have the courage?

It's in pursuit of fascism.

I'll be doing this with the trump dollar coins youtu.be/f9aM_dT5VMI?...

Jay is going to become a reactionary centrist. Getting yelled at on the internet by people to your left is super radicalizing to a certain type of person

I am just so fucking proud of her.

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

If police can legally murder you because they get scared when they see that you have a gun, then you don't actually have a right to keep and bear arms.

Does the new CEO of Red Lobster really think Endless Shrimp caused the bankruptcy as opposed to all the venture capitalist bullshit or is he just lying about that?

I like that no one wants to read Kamala's book. I hope she has a book tour scheduled and cancels is like Schumer did.

BREAKING: Our client Mario Guevara, an Emmy-winning journalist detained by ICE in retaliation for livestreaming law enforcement activity, will be deported tomorrow to El Salvador. Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.

Jonathan Greenblatt is Hamas (derogatory)

If your elect me President, I will be your retribution.

I'm running for President in 2028. This is not a joke. If I win, I will demolish the ballroom.

Limp Dick Durbin

Elect me President and I'll ban leveraged buyouts and stock buybacks.

Hillary would have won if she had said literally no potential trump voters were persuadable and insulted all of them instead.

Operation Paperclip would have been cooler if it was less about importing Nazis to America and more about blinding every Nazi by stabbing them in the eyes with paperclips

They are fascists. We were right to call them fascists years ago and we're right to call them fascists now.

I am running for President in 2028. This is not a joke. My administration will not take the moderate on ICE.

Unrelated to the allegations, this show is just bad. Every joke is "the kids are too woke" or "I'm not like those other gays."

The Epstein files got raptured

The og Nazis hated being called Nazis too

The Kirk funeral was a lot less sexy than I expected, but I still finished. Twice.

There are no good Republicans

That’s me in the video. And a Fox News host just celebrated me being assaulted by ICE. If ICE will do this to a congressional candidate with a big platform, just imagine what they’re doing to the people they’re kidnapping.

More than that. "The FBI ***recorded*** Tom Homan taking the money "after indicating he could help the agents — who were posing as business executives — win government contracts in a second Trump administration."

It’s been said before but this idea that Republicans have captured the spirit of the volk, and Democrats must imitate them to appeal to the “real” Americans, also concedes that all the people Republicans target for indignity and repression—here, women—are less American than others.

I want fascists dead.

You can torrent Andor

State AGs can and should charge media company executives with bribery.

Limp Dick Durbin

Come and take it 🏳️‍⚧️

I genuinely thought Thomas Chatterton Williams was a Twitter bit a la Three Year Letterman. How is that his real name and face and profession?

I think Sally is baiting us into dunking on her so she can write a "Blueskyism" article.

Which senator will be first to put up a bill to rename MLK Day to Charlie Kirk Day?

So is bsky going to ban the entire userbase when it happens?

No. You don't need to hold out hope. This is A Christmas Carol+West Wing Brain. There are no Good Republicans™

Elect me President and I will solve the elite impunity problem using Presidential Immunity™

trump is a pedophile. I'm the only 2028 Democratic candidate for President willing to say it.

My 2028 Presidential platform can be summarized as FDR with Presidential Immunity™

Guy who follows 34K people and only uses the Discover tab

If you elect me President, I will ban sports betting. And maybe more importantly, I will ban sports betting ads.

Do you think any President has eaten a McRib?

We don't need centrists. They add nothing to society.