I don’t recommend this to anyone who has not been certified firmly sane by a medical professional or religious figure.

I summarized this story in a comment the other day, but I'll go into more detail here, in what's known as a "thread." I once had an hour long conversation with the legendary comic book artist Neal Adams about his theory that the earth is hollow.

Many of our recent episodes have proven quite erotic, and this is no exception.

Important breaking news thread.

While independent bookstores are giving out free whistles, hosting protest sign making events, and donating proceeds to mutual aid, Amazon is *checks notes* providing technology that assists ICE in their terrorizing of communities. Independent bookstores deserve your support. Amazon does not.

Please do not attempt to “dox” Jordan for his opinions re: the Academy Awards™.

Might be the closest thing we have to new Seinfeld

It would not be very difficult to convince every ICE agent that there is a protestor hiding in their own mouths. See what happens.

There is no alternative to the obvious solution.

Point taken, but I do not appreciate this disparagement of those who skipped class.

Tomb Gooner

This program should prove quite satisfactory to the core audience of “gamers” (i.e. chronic onanists).

RIP Mr. Scott Adams. Dilbert was no Ziggy, but I believe everyone has to agree he was a character in a different comic strip.

Neither snow, nor sleet, nor “wintry mix” will keep me from having Ziggy comic strips described.

It's a new year and it's a new DAILY ZIG! Listen to @pizzaatmcds.bsky.social and I discuss each day's ZIGGY, the greatest philosophical text printed next to a Sudoku each day. open.spotify.com/episode/2AF3...

There is a “Shirley Temple” flavored variety of 7-Up available now (named after the drink named after the starlet), and I have an arrangement with my “Ralph’s guy” (named, coincidentally, Ralph) to make sure my stock is never depleted.

Merry Christmas to us all. I spoke to Josh Safdie about all the screwballs, lowlifes, and junkyard Jews on the periphery of MARTY SUPREME. www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...

An unboxing video of TUVIX. Click this link! hoffstack.substack.com/p/merry-chri...

Yes, I am in consideration to be the new editor-in-chief of CBS News. No, I will offer no further comment on the matter pending negotiations. However, I am proud to present a new episode of The Daily Zig, in which Jordan and I ponder why Ziggy seems to lurk near mall Santas so often.

Beginning today people can buy a ticket and go see a new Avatar movie. I have a piece going live this weekend about the new film, but for now, let's celebrate and reflect on the first Avatar film. And how it led me to soil myself. www.thrillist.com/entertainmen...

Barron Trump has an opportunity to do something interesting.

Unfortunately, the New School just canceled their Ziggy Studies PhD program and offered its sole professor (tenured; seven-figure salary; university-provided SoHo condominium) early retirement, so this podcast is the best a Ziggy scholar can get.

On this episode, I reveal the true secret behind Skinwalker Ranch.

people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try

More like Tom Keepgoingpard. RIP

The Pizzaply Technologies research and development department is working on an AI to combat this new claim-denying AI. Codename: eLuigi.

My review of MARTY SUPREME, the best motion picture of 2025. hoffstack.substack.com/p/josh-safdi...

On this “Cyber Monday”, why not stop “cybering” with your online lover and instead support independent booksellers by making a purchase on Bookshop.org, perhaps even purchasing the latest issue of the Raleigh Review, in which a short story of mine appears? bookshop.org/p/books/rale...

This is good news. I am working to secure a deal on offering our own Daily Zig-branded discount cellular telephone plan that will be slightly cheaper than the one offered by our competition, the Smartless podcast.

BREAKING: After a late night conversation with ChatGPT, President Donald Trump has killed himself.

Feel free to share this “meme” I made.

I know this is an unfair comparison, but personally I prefer Fiona Orange.

The bookmark story is truly “spine-tingling”.

Saturday Afternoon HOFFSTACK hoffstack.substack.com/p/patriots-c...

There is an important clarification in this episode re: the “gooning” community.

Solution: The Life of David Gale$

On today’s The Daily Zig, @jhoffman.bsky.social and I discuss, among other things, the McDonald’s Pizza-adjacent Al “Grandpa Munster” Lewis film My Grandpa is a Vampire (1992). open.spotify.com/episode/7hhS...

I would like to read Star Wars: Hyperspace Stories: The Bad Batch—Rogue Agents issue #1, but the “title” line on my local comic book store’s pull list form only allows 743 characters.

Every podcast awards ceremony is a "honey trap" to catch podcasters en masse, cage them, and hold them in "black sites" where their only meals come from Hello Fresh. This is why I avoid them.

This passage is plagiarized word for word from the chapter of my book “How to Be an Investigative Journalist” about meeting Art Bell.

If President Trump can bring back performing fellatio on Bill Clinton, McDonald’s can bring back pizza.

A stunning and disturbing invasion of privacy.

I have heard from multiple sources that President Trump is putting in an emergency FedEx Office order to make visual aids for tonight’s Oval Office address explaining the difference between pedophilia and ephebophilia.

It's so cold out. Yet I must leave the warmth of my home. I must retrieve today's Asbury Park Press, so I can explain today's Ziggy to @pizzaatmcds.bsky.social. This is the wisecrackin' albatross around my neck. Learn more by downloading THE DAILY ZIG wherever you download podcasts.

I recall FBI director Kash Patel, in reference to the death of professional teenager debater Charlie Kirk, using the phrase “I’ll see you in Valhalla.” It seems many such men have turned to Nordic paganism instead of Christianity because they believe loving Jesus “H.” Christ is too effeminate.

The books: Jack Vance's THE LANGUAGES OF PAO (1958) Fredric Brown's MARTIANS, GO HOME (1955) I planned to discuss Philip Jose Farmer's THE GREEN ODYSSEY (1957) and forgot! Why? Because I was too busy self-flogging, obviously! (We'll save it for the next hodgepodge.) youtu.be/xdZ9RbzOm-U

This program features a cameo appearance by my mail order son Bob Woodward “Woody” Bernstein-Thompson.

My account was deleted from that application because their moderators determined my bodily person contains more than one drop of (their words) “Jewish blood”, but I will look into this.

Others prefer The Onion headlines that are jokes meant to make readers laugh, but personally I enjoy ones like these that provoke a sad smirk, a single clap, and a solemn nod of agreement.

May I please have your attention? I have a short story in the latest issue of the fine literary journal The Raleigh Review. It is about an accident-prone small town Louisiana sheriff’s deputy. You may purchase the issue from your favorite local bookseller or here: raleighreview.org/print-issues...