On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 Golden Rings, but they were, all of them deceived, for another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom…

Anybody wanna buy me birthday lunch?? C/ashapp: $tewson

Sorry whoever sent me a DM, I can’t see it because I don’t want to upload my ID and it won’t let me see it until I do.

Should I just sell all my DnD shit? I don't think I'm ever going to get to play again

lol my most liked recent tweet was the one saying I should delete my account.

techcrunch.com/2025/11/12/j... GUYS

Any somewhat recent Christmas movies you've seen and liked lately? Like in the last few years or so? The classics are gettin stale, need something fresh

Me when I put air in my tires

Tried to take a self-esteem selfie and just ugh... I hate pictures of myself. All terrible. I am terrible to look at

Some of my best 'stumes from years past

I just got a call from Dracula? Claiming he was with the American Red Cross, begging for my platelets?

Here's my review of depression: 👎

I hate forcing myself to eat when I’m not hungry

I love how pepperonis just turn into little bowls of grease

🐸

When I accidentally like an AI video

11 years ago today my car had a serious attitude problem

I need costume ideas! Preferably something without full face cover so I can still drink and socialize.

Greta Thunberg has just been released and she is back on the warpath, exactly like our leaders should be. Israel will never silence her or the billions who oppose them.

My body is a haunted blood prison

Spending money I don't have just to feel something

I wanna do a freaky Friday with my dog

I guess Ohio internet porn laws are in effect. Gonna have to jork it to scrimshaw etchings of mermaids with big tiddies like the old sailors used to do 🔎

All this for my brain to still be like “this sucks…” lol

A person from the Internet said I was handsome the other day so I will be riding that compliment all week thank you 😊

Gm please give me external validation

Bluesky wants me to show ID now? 🤨

Is there anything that causes more psychic damage than making a joke and just getting a 👍

YOU try doctoring crime scene evidence in a hurry with only the items you have on you and let's see how good of a job you do, alright?

Canada celebrates The Rapture in October

Just a reminder...

Did anyone else feel a little guilty after seducing Bella Goth and then finding out she had a husband and family? Why was she so flirty?!

I love a good riced krispie

Vaxxed?🤨

Grok says that videos of Charlie Kirk being shot are memes and that he's actually fine

Me tryna sneaky vape at my desk

Hey, real quick. Does everything feel bad or is it just me?

Always a fun time when my seasonal depression meets regular depression

What bluesky was like when it was invite only

The work day should end at 3PM

Favorite fork shapes? I like this one because it’s long and evenly spread

What keeps you going?

How is everybody feel-ine this Monday?

I need more upbeat, motivational, like “let’s kick this days ass!” kinda music suggestions to get me through the day, like Andrew WK or Foxy Shazam

I keep confusing RDR2 with R2D2

ask yourself not “what is illegal?” but “what is immoral?”

I wish therapy wasn’t so expensive