Melissa Todd
@melissartodd.bsky.social
đ€ 560
đ„ 234
đ 458
Writer, performer, elderly model. Enjoys late Victorian fiction and breath play. Melissatodd.co.uk
pinned post!
It's publication day!
amzn.eu/d/73RIMD8
9 months ago
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Opinion: âMiss school and youâll end up in court? Thatâs quite the message to send childrenâ
share.google/LpoLqRJJWjzK...
This is a good one. For
@kentonline.co.uk
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âMiss school and youâll end up in court? Thatâs quite the message to send childrenâ
Columnist Melissa Todd explores the pressure around school attendance, and asks if compulsory education says more about society than it does children.
https://share.google/LpoLqRJJWjzKQCn7E
4 days ago
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Iâm a sex worker, the government got this wrong with its porn crackdown
metro.co.uk/2026/03/15/i...
via @MetroUK
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I'm a sex worker, the government got this wrong with its porn crackdown
You might think people screenshotting my intimate pictures is a bad thing...
https://metro.co.uk/2026/03/15/im-a-sex-worker-government-got-this-wrong-porn-crackdown-27407055/
7 days ago
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11
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On joining the green party, V or
@kentonline.co.uk
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
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âIâve joined the Green Party â hope is rare, so Iâm investing in itâ
Columnist and sex worker Melissa Todd has joined the Green Party, saying its support for decriminalising sex work has given her hope in politicsâŠ
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/i-ve-joined-the-green-party-hope-is-rare-so-i-m-investin-337273/
11 days ago
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6
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Good grief, they've written a musical about penicillin. I do hope they don't rhyme it with thrillin' or killin'. Bought tickets anyway.
southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/...
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Lifeline - Southwark Playhouse Elephant
A heartfelt musical inspired by the life of Sir Alexander Fleming, starring a chorus of medical professionals and scientists alongside a professional cast.
https://southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/lifeline/?fbclid=IwY2xjawQQQsFleHRuA2FlbQMxMDAAYnJpZBEwNFpHajdBVEg4THBhWUhuS3NydGMGYXBwX2lkEDIyMjAzOTE3ODgyMDA4OTIAAR4wPflgVzK3JzP7vsVbLVXqn3bZ5cZgIgIF_yHQeaNGEB7RtJ_VhLqLPe57Sg_aem_D5q8j0Xx9QzCFzhFBCo5_w
21 days ago
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On the nipah virus
www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/th...
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âThe next pandemic wonât scare us. That should scare usâ
Columnist Melissa Todd discusses how Covid broke trust in public health, leaving even serious warnings about the Nipah virus filtered through memesâŠ
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/the-next-pandemic-won-t-scare-us-that-should-scare-us-336558/
about 1 month ago
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Doing my show at the Tom Thumb in Margate 13 June! She also offered me 16tb May but that's Eurovision and my heart audibly shattered at the prospect.
about 1 month ago
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New podcast episode up!
youtu.be/R5tdGOiS9JA?...
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Les of the helmet ( Five )
YouTube video by Les Hull
https://youtu.be/R5tdGOiS9JA?si=Ya67Bh0AzGmxvQ6M
about 1 month ago
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I'm doing Edinburgh! My show Gag Writer will be at the Ivy Studio, 22-26 George Street, from 7-22 August at 10pm. Every night except Sundays. Do come!
about 1 month ago
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Being interviewed in Covent Garden next month! Cheap wine and an epically cool venue.
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selv...
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DAVID SELVES In conversation with MELISSA TODD The world renown dominatrix
Join David Selves and Melissa Todd for a no-holds-barred chat about the art of domination!
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selves-in-conversation-with-melissa-todd-the-world-renown-dominatrix-tickets-1979971834055?aff=oddtdtcreator
about 1 month ago
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On the ubiquity of the paedo slur. Proud of this one.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
1
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Eventbrite refuse to promote this, even for cash, because it's adult content. It's less adult than the vagina monologues, or many pantomimes. It's grown up debate. Please show your support for grown up debate by attending. Cheap wine too. March 12, London.
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selv...
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DAVID SELVES In conversation with MELISSA TODD The world renown dominatrix
Join David Selves and Melissa Todd for a no-holds-barred chat about the art of domination!
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selves-in-conversation-with-melissa-todd-the-world-renown-dominatrix-tickets-1979971834055?aff=oddtdtcreator
about 2 months ago
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You can now book tickets for the Edinburgh preview of my show at the Bread & Roses in Clapham! Get clicking:
app.lineupnow.com/event/edinbu...
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Line-Up
https://app.lineupnow.com/event/edinburgh-fringe-previews-gag-writer
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Melissa Todd
josieharrisonmarks.bsky.social
about 2 months ago
While most people had a Sunday roast yesterday,
@melissartodd.bsky.social
& I shot a few clips & the only thing that got roasted was my bottom! Though BB did a very good job at guarding my lingerie lol Fetlife - @time_to_play X (Twitter) - @JosieHMarks Spanking Library - Store 854
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Shameless plug.
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6 months ago
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I've been called a "washed up prozzy" for writing this. Why, I'm at the very peak of my career. Also, not relevant.
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
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âNobody risks drowning in the Channel for a shot at stallion-handlingâ
KentOnline columnist Melissa Todd attended a UKIP gathering and counter protest at the weekend, here is what she encounteredâŠ
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/nobody-risks-drowning-in-the-channel-for-a-shot-at-stallion-330540/?fbclid=IwdGRjcANKek9jbGNrA0p6QWV4dG4DYWVtAjExAAEeIx_r28SiNvCwyz8lB0z2LWSw9zbg6iC4AwzGNzBL3Xu9UctmGY63S1WLMAk_aem_nlk8RQ3HXSGc8J4dRst2yw
6 months ago
1
7
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"Do you enjoy hurting people?" With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.
youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...
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Alex Branson-Cole Faversham's Boxer competing in the Southern Area Title Fight.
YouTube video by Radio Faversham
https://youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?si=Q7EFjKFGzvoj0MOt
7 months ago
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New book available on Waterstones website too, Amazon haters!
www.waterstones.com/book/gag-wri...
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Gag Writer by Melissa Todd | Waterstones
Buy Gag Writer by Melissa Todd from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over ÂŁ25.
https://www.waterstones.com/book/gag-writer/melissa-todd//9798308328230?fbclid=IwdGRjcAMdd5NjbGNrAx13fGV4dG4DYWVtAjExAAEejHbx1dfAB_vGA5shIH_QDja6i7Mz1uF4_CBZW8Hr-jgPSf4J1Fudld_gSPk_aem_7LngrClL-VmOHWykYYbTwg
7 months ago
0
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Reading from the new book at Screaming alley cabaret last night!
7 months ago
2
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reposted by
Melissa Todd
TransShockJock
7 months ago
Saw
@melissartodd.bsky.social
yesterday in Gravesend reading from her new book and I absolutely recommend picking it up
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FBL712S...
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice
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Gag Writer: 129 of her best Love It! columns: Amazon.co.uk: Todd, Melissa: 9798308328230: Books
Buy Gag Writer: 129 of her best Love It! columns by Todd, Melissa (ISBN: 9798308328230) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FBL712S7?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apan_dp_N5CK3ER8J2VYYTW57GW1&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apan_dp_N5CK3ER8J2VYYTW57GW1&bestFormat=true&previewDohEventScheduleTesting=C
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On being phoneless for a fortnight. For
@kentonline.co.uk
www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/my...
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âMy reluctant digital detox was awful, wonderful, and completely pointlessâ
This week, KentOnline columnist Melissa Todd reveals how she coped without her phone for two whole weeksâŠ
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/my-reluctant-digital-detox-was-awful-wonderful-and-comple-328533/?fbclid=IwQ0xDSwMJdrhleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHvJFIc4GQ9ZCPX1PxkNNurePMvoYE0mrxhp_wgQKr13bROXxVcg-X4Xz0aU3_aem_No-89tDuexZf9FMtHUJr_g
7 months ago
2
7
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A week today I will be in Gravesend reading from the new book and telling a few mucky anecdotes and it would be absolutely ripping were some of you to join me.
facebook.com/events/s/hol...
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Holy Moly featuring Melissa Todd
Event in Gravesend, United Kingdom by Holy Moly Spoken Word on Sunday, August 17 2025
https://facebook.com/events/s/holy-moly-featuring-melissa-to/1041502751102515/
7 months ago
0
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From July 27 to August 10 I will have no internet access. At all. No phone, no nothing. So if you message me here or elsewhere I will not see it. Not ignoring you or dead, just off grid. And I can't tell you why either. Yet. But it's not prison.
8 months ago
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Look! Love it! contains a Qr code so you can get to my book direct! With huge thanks to
@graemealdy.bsky.social
for making it happen. Thrilled!
8 months ago
0
9
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On blackmail kinks. For Love it! magazine. Out today! Only 99p!
8 months ago
0
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Gag Writer now available on audible as well as in paperback and kindle form. Listen to my daft posh voice drone on for flipping hours by clicking here:
amzn.eu/d/ixLqpwb
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Gag Writer: 129 of the Best Love It! Columns (Audio Download): Melissa Todd, Melissa Todd, Hags Ahoy: Amazon.co.uk: Audible Books & Originals
Gag Writer: 129 of the Best Love It! Columns (Audio Download): Melissa Todd, Melissa Todd, Hags Ahoy: Amazon.co.uk: Audible Books & Originals
https://amzn.eu/d/ixLqpwb
9 months ago
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Oh god...
9 months ago
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New bookshop is open! Plunder, 32 High street, Ramsgate. Come say hi!
9 months ago
0
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Look, I am third in the urban legends category! Right after swearing and shitting.
9 months ago
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It's publication day!
amzn.eu/d/73RIMD8
9 months ago
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Thank you! X
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
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My new book, Gag Writer, is out June 26th! Kindle, paperback or audio, read by me! Huge thanks to the fine folk at Love it! for their help.
amzn.eu/d/hnTsy2V
10 months ago
2
18
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On teaching three women how to domme, for Love it! magazine. Out today.
10 months ago
1
10
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Journeying to Canterbury with a strap on and two pairs of dirty pants to post like a deleted scene from Chaucer.
10 months ago
2
14
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Time for me to take off one pair of pants and put on another pair of pants and refer to it as "my career".
10 months ago
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It's me!
10 months ago
3
10
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Wait...did we just rejoin the EU?
10 months ago
5
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Chap asking if I'd like to "try anything special" in our session, like I don't session 12x a week. Yeah I'd like to try this new kink where you don't ask stupid questions thanks.
10 months ago
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Suddenly everyone wants to buy my dirty knickers. What's that about? Can't dirty them fast enough.
10 months ago
3
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Man said to me today, it's so good to know someone who chooses to live truthfully, live their best authentic self out in the open. I just like money though.
10 months ago
1
8
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Distance discipline, and chickens, for Love it! magazine. Out today!
10 months ago
1
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Swedish government wants to make it a crime to pay for online sexual services.
netzpolitik.org/2025/crimina...
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Criminalising Online Sex Work: âThis law will have international implications far beyond Swedenâ
The Swedish government wants to make paying for sexual services online a criminal offense. The law could have global implications for online services and put creators at risk, warns Yigit Aydin. He fi...
https://netzpolitik.org/2025/criminalising-online-sex-work-this-law-will-have-international-implications-far-beyond-sweden/?fbclid=PAQ0xDSwKRa_5leHRuA2FlbQIxMAABp2JUuYspDrO3n1P-b19EXlTl_DLcoBkNYYgGVkAkskORq6nNZZY8VSOjt86z_aem_qa3CgtNtO4I28nuDSYwQsQ
10 months ago
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5
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Yeah the NHS being massively overstaffed is definitely the worst problem facing Britain today. Tell that to the hole in my tooth. Island of strangers indeed. I'm embarrassed and heartsore at that speech.
10 months ago
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Son all excited a dish he's created has got on the specials board. Bless.
11 months ago
2
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Man flying in from Spain specifically to see me today and another coming from Norway on Monday. I am single-handedly destroying the planet with my awesomeness.
11 months ago
2
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Open my phone to find three When can we meet for coffee messages so now I'm considering how best to fake my own death.
11 months ago
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Anxiety dreams my mum was driving me to my Faber course and making me late. Getting my piece workshopped on Saturday. Possibly related.
11 months ago
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Ooh I'm up!
add a skeleton here at some point
11 months ago
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Three columns due on Tuesday and unprecedentedly I haven't written a bleeding word. Not short of ideas. Short of giving a shit. Hopefully my mojo will return in buckets tomorrow.
11 months ago
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I got eight new fans out of that fucking machine. Eight!
11 months ago
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Post-assembly.
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11 months ago
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