D'awwww! Sweet!

“Kiki, you’re on the FLOOR! You OK?” “I nap ANYWHERE, human!” “If you see ME on the floor, you know what to DO?” “Sit ATOP you! Making biscuits is OPTIONAL.” “No, Kiki, dial 9-1-1! You want me to be HELPED…to lie there HURT…or be slowly DYING?” “Not good at multiple choice, human…Gimme a HINT!”

Damn.

I read that last word as "inflatulence." I like that!

Looks like birds of a feather. I mean, Green Eggs and Ham as filibuster reading? Really?

When the bodega cat is tryna push the stuff that's not selling as well! 😹😹😹

Aw, Jesus. Well, that prediction fell flat on its ass!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Agreed! Why does he keep acting like "negotiations" will work with someone who is obviously demented? No meetings at the WH because they keep getting cancelled, thus making him AND Schumer look even weaker! Get him to the Capitol! Or is this AIPAC pulling everybody's strings?

What we know so far: The guns are safe. The guns were not harmed. It was just people who were killed and injured, the guns are safe.

Notice how, when talk turns to calls for the release of the Epstein files, there's no "Thank you for your attention to this matter." Wonder why that is?

@franifio.bsky.social Ok, I stand corrected. Got all worked up, and THEN read the article. I apologize, Ms. Anonymous! You're one helluva comic!

sometimes, online, I'll see someone going, "The makers of the Starship Troopers movie didn't UNDERSTAND the book they were adapting" and no buddy, gonna stop ya there, they do understand, they just hate it

Me with cake: Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip, don't trip...

Would a bleach enema come with that?

"Anonymous" should tell us everything we need to know. If you can't stand by your words, openly and freely, then why should we believe you? Don't tell me about "The numbers," give us hard fact-checking.

Dear New York City denizens: Eric Adams dropped out of the mayoral race, so your gain is the country's loss, and by this I mean, has he been promised the position of ambassador to... erm...TURKEY???? After all, he's done the groundwork already!

👋🙂☕ Live your life in such a way that if the escalator stops, you don't assume it's because people hate you.

Where's the Fentanyl-head? Dead?

Or walking FiFi, or [fill in the blank]. Anything that doesn't actually look like surveillance!

You know the assignment and you'll ace it! Trust and believe!

You know the assignment and you'll ace it! Trust and believe!

Ok, literary aficionados & meteorologists. Riddle me this: Is Hurricane Humberto a name that should be retired? Why, you ask? Well, one of the main characters in Lolita is Humbert Humbert. A pedophile. So did somebody have tongue in cheek when they named this in today's weather outlook? Ijs! 😉🤦🏽‍♀️

He won't look at the prosecution because his own end of the line would be Florence ADX supermax in Colorado.

Taxes for the rich 💰

Thanks for the laugh because I sure did picture those conservatives riding horseback... backwards, meaning out of town! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That reverb is something we need to check out... for future liefests!

Tylenol's stock went up right after the idiocracy put out the message regarding Tylenol and autism.

Yes, go ahead and start mass firings. Maybe even YOU might not get your pay.

Fox News is still formulating their lies to tell across American TVs. Let’s make lying wrong again. If they can take down Kimmel, we can take down Fox News. Join the movement. www.foxtakedown.com.

Word to the wise, Dear Portland: Deploy your fiercest soldiers for the battle. Blonde white women innocently walking their dogs...as they gather intel through passive surveillance! "La résistance, c'est nous! Here, have a vegan muffin!" 1/2 *Mini camera filming everything* 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡👩🏼🦮

Boyyyy, that Antifa is a dangerous organization, dealing fruits and nuts to the hapless public! 🍏🍐🍑🍒🥜🥜

Jesus, would somebody give him tasks that are more productive and less dangerous than using OUR Constitution as toilet paper? Give him a Coca-Cola can with some pubes on it, ffs!

My condolences to you on the sudden loss of your brother. Having lost my husband of 46 yrs. on 11/04/2024 I can relate to what you must be enduring. Know that in time, your grief will become softer as you remember your brother's little quirks, the things that will make you smile. Peace to you, Dear.

We should make this our revolutionary uniform! It would have the same effect as bagpipes in the forest! Imagine us stepping out of the fog!

Will we ALL start looking for our meals in the litterbox? Because I have a feeling cats will rise up where hooms haven't, and they'll give us what we deserve...tune in next time, for As the Shit Stinks!

How the everlasting FUCK can one look at that and think, "There's our Great Leader representing us all over the world!" ?????

He's put a big 🎯 on the top brass of this nation...because they've been trained to follow orders, no matter how vacuous.

Let's call this "When the thousand-yard stare is predicting something to which we need to attend."

Oh, wow. I hadn't heard this. May she rest in power. ✊🏾

The ham is suing him for fraud, and also an uncanny resemblance. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When comedy seem more real than the reality...

No, he would want it all and it would behoove Homan NOT to skim off the pile!

Correction: Those countries may have the problem! Deport him immediately! Get him outta here!

Homan speaks and it's as if somebody tossed rocks into the garbage disposal and let it rip, especially when he's lying! Yes, call De Niro!