I’m actually not allowed to have alcohol and talk to women at the same time Bad enough as it is

Shout out to Nature and Nurture for making me this hot

Droppin’ a “so to do” in this bitch

Fuck you, autocorrect, for INCORRECTLY assuming that I wish to add prepositions Fucking grayed out text that becomes real when you hit post Fuck you

I shouldn’t be allowed

Me: You should sleep Also Me: New Inheritance Machining video

Ah, the dead of night, the perfect time to have breakfast food

“Oh, it’s too salty” Drink some water, your body will figure it out

Eggs: another way to transport salt into my body

Being super fun and cool and hot and perfect is great until your friends say that you have great chemistry with someone you already rejected

Maybe if I just sleep for a full eight hours, my body won’t hurt anymore

Am I hungry? Are there consequences to eating right now?

First of October drops soon!

I don’t want to go inside Anyways David Tennant is my favorite Doctor, Matt Smith had the flare and speeches but Tennant..

I just realized that I can take all my childhood t-shirts to the boat so they can become rags I literally just don’t wear them, and yes they are a bunch of shirts I received for participating in various activities/serve as reminders for such.. drawer space

They’re playing “Pink Pony Club” at the Gay Dance Hall All is well Actually someone’s going to complain- hopefully just because everyone just walked on the dance floor with their drinks and that’s not good for the floor

Accidentally said “unless I go to her” instead of “unless I go to bed” and I think I shall just go die in a hole There’s not even.. well, that’s not entirely true

My hands smell like tar

Shout out to when the Savannah Bananas were at the Gay Dance Hall

Showing up to what you thought was announced as a friend’s dance lesson and the parking lot doesn’t have their car..

Bilge Rat

Billboards are a stain upon the earth and wouldn’t exist if we had good long-distance public transportation infrastructure

“You can’t skip billboards” Yes, but I can lock the fuck in and watch the road you capitalist piece of shit

*In reference to the ability to skip ads on streaming services* “You can’t skip billboards” - a billboard, advertising billboard space

Sitting and waiting patiently while my father drives my car down a very familiar route about 10 mph slower than I do

I hate pooping in the morning- or really just pooping on a deadline

Being immune to drunk texts at 2 a.m. by nature of being asleep because you have shit to do the next morning

Never dating a Diet Coke girlie again

I fear I took a wrong turn somewhere because I seem to have lost the room (Came up with this, feel free to steal as desired)

Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive

AND I DON’T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME ‘CAUSE I DON’T THINK THAT THEY’D UNDERSTAND

Attempting to cram as much ice cream as will fit into this coffee mug Because I deserve it

Save me, Floor Time playlist, save me

*Sigh* Straight dance hall, here I come Just a chance to West Coast Swing

Sticking your head out of the sunroof to get a better view so you can identify the various anime waifu stickers on the back windshield of the truck in front of you

Hard hat era again

Me 🤝 saying “Jiminy Christmas” instead of “Jesus Christ”

*Listening to the new Bowling For Soup single* My coworker: Why does he sound like Phineas and Ferb

I haven’t caught up on the news, so I don’t know many crash outs @bagmilk.swifties.social has had over The Life of a Showgirl First listen-through, my prediction is two minor and four major

Company sponsored salt water

All of my muscles totally work this morning- definitely didn’t mildly strain my left quadriceps last night

All I do is sweat I wake up, I go to work, I sweat I come home, I go dancing, I sweat I wake up, I go to boat, I sweat

Booking actually *is* better, thank you so much for the reminder, Wintergatan

Ruining perfectly good barbecue sauce by adding it to Kraft mac & cheese

“Well, I just saw everyone else wearing their cute little overalls and wanted to join in on the trend” [Photo of me in faded blue full-length overalls that are covered in tar and paint]

Actually- they may be fruits, technically Yup, they’re fruits- and a legume

Vegetables

Have I gotten more than about 6 hours of sleep a night since Sunday? No, am I still going dancing for the second night in a row tonight? Absolutely I am Jimothy; I work and I dance

The great thing about not being in charge is that when the homeowners come out because you’re polling around in their lawn, you don’t have to talk to them Shout out to my party chief who very much has to poop and yet is answering all of this person’s very well informed questions

So I bring my friends to the dance hall with a shitty DJ, because it’s open when they are available, but I’m hoping for a chill night hanging out with my friends; we get out on the floor and the instructor looks at me and goes “you look familiar, have you competed here before” Way to out me