FEET! (Ok FOOT but if you know, you know)

My new favorite adult film genre

It me

Oh good, they’re resurrecting Friday and Saturday nights at Rumors and weaponizing it.

I’m a cryptid who lives in the public parks of northern Virginia and even I know this. How odd so many humans forgot. Almost like someone wants you too…

They will know us by the trail of Butthole Surfers

They Will Know Us By the Trail of The Cars

Oh man I forgot about Sea Monster Johnny. Met him once and only once.That dude is INTENSE.

Me, IRL

Gonna ask the state department to bring back that addictive honey mustard.

Quentin Tarantino’s Harry and the Hendersons

DC is imposing curfews on kids and New York is closing down entire blocks to encourage them to gather and play. It’s not hard to understand which is better for their physical, social, and mental wellbeing

MONORAIL NOW!

Me, IRL

Me, IRL

Not again??!

Dad?!

wait nancy is NANCY REAGAN??

Reality is making Idiocracy look quaint

this looks like an extra tough captcha test

That couch going right across the river to a house on the Naval Observatory grounds. IKYK

Can also be said as a response to John Cusack

Slightly decrease a band: Kilodeth

Harrisonburg, Virginia knows what it did

I feel attacked

CALL ME! FLY EAGLES FLY! *throws snowball at Santa from atop giant chicken*

A hate watch is still a watch

Too bad this will be the only Google thing that actually leaves Beta.

Time to check in on my Great Lakes cousins.

And some days the hammer eats you.

Why does this kid sound like Alec Baldwin?

Breaking news: Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams bear have all perished in a fire… We’ll have s’more at 11.

Humans are you ok?

This for me but make it Universal and tag every part with a different pronoun. I want her to know it was me.

But will the runners include a… brick house?

*whispers* and then he called it “jizz wailing”

Happy May the 4th to those who celebrate. I am one of those who do because today and tomorrow are two of the three days I can walk around normally and people just think I'm doing Chewbacca cosplay.

So if Giuliani dies, does he get a discount burial plot at Four Seasons landscaping?

In the immortal words of the prophet Magmum… “Pop pop!”

Advertise your account using one Simpsons image

I need a ballroom because I need more room for my massive balls. Seriously I have a collection of vintage medicine balls and they’re poorly organized and take up space.

Typical. Casting a human when I'm right here and have acting experience of a sort. www.npr.org/2026/04/22/n...

Would

Dear iPhone autocorrect, We. Call. Them. Skeets.

Evergreen skeet

It's true. I talked to the Rock Creek Park alligators and they are quite ready for this.

Sasquatch is real and he’s sexy AF. *looks in mirror*

Jonathan Keir Harker Starmer 🤝 Not having enough questions about their good friend, the Prince of Darkness