Months after logging in here I forget what to even say on social media.

Berlin weather report: Sun is sunning today, time to use my early supply of sunscreen in two hours.

Applying for Berlin flats 3 months in: Apply for flat with two accounts one with my Indian name and the other with Michael Scott, and the Indian one gets a prompt rejection while Michael Scott always gets an invite. I make sure that Michael Scott appears more sketchy but guy keeps pushing through.

🧵Little story- one of those which, if I hadn't seen it myself, but you told me about it, I wouldn't have believed you. I’m in my local shop & one of the street's loud young characters comes in - proper Bemmie, always seems to have a can & be up to something. You can imagine...

Rarely watch a movie these days that I find worthy of talking about. Support the Girls is one of them. Left me with more kindness and empathy towards the end of it and it's blessed with flawless performances and great writing. Grab a big ass beer and enjoy.

Shrinkflation: Used to be able to eat 9 pieces of fried chicken without breaking a sweat but now I'm done at 6.5 pieces and a bucketful of sweat. Future me will just get full for a week by imagining a chicken.

My ice cream policy is to only eat one when I did something that really deserves it. So far this year I've had one ice cream.

On a work team call a colleague asked another German colleague why he was low today. I jumped in without thinking too much, "Herr Wurst might come late, but when he comes he comes hard" and there was a loooong minute of silence until I realized what I did.

"Can you wait for 30 minutes? Is that fine for you?" "I waited for 9 months to come onto this planet, so I'm fine with 30 minutes"

In a swimming class: "Where should my legs be? Should there be under the water or above the water" "Kinocow, if your legs are above the water it's called flying and when they're inside the water it's called swimming. Here to swim aren't you?" (drowning) "Jdfjakks"

Berlin weather report: So hot that my eyes are melting.

Can empathize with people who find the Berlin flat hunting experience harrowing. As a brown cow i had 0.5% conversion rate to view a flat (out of 200 flats) and with a German sounding name, Michael Scott, I got 4 viewings out of 10 applications but no conversions.

Smells like sweaty armpits tastes like an electric shock.

Hattingen calling.

Berlin weather report: Sad that at work off-site in Mallorca.

Berlin weather report: This year summer decided to take a Deutsche Bahn train.

This is very much like the audience for Playboy magazine in the late 1960s, and for intriguingly resonant reasons.

"What's your insta?" "Don't have one" "How can that be?" "It's not mandatory right" "Still, how do you know what's happening?" "There's a thousand other ways" "Still.. how do I send my vacation pictures?" "Email?" "You're a boomer"

Same article: "The graffiti on the signs appeared in the past few days, and has itself been vandalised, with the letter ‘r’ painted over on the sign on the north side of the road, so that it now reads ‘No poo people allowed’, instead.". The journalist writing this had a good week.

Berlin weather report:

From a far distance people doing animated talks on their airpods look like their summoning a medieval demon.

Berlin weather report: Coming from the roasting tropics, feels like Switzerland.

Me when buying new underwear.

Going from Delhi to Berlin is like jumping from a power cut to an industrial freezer.

Indian uncles after a certain age lose all will to life. Looking at the city from above on a first plane ride? Don't care. 100 rupee note on the floor? Too lazy to bend. Hoping to get to this level of uncleness at some point in the future.

All the foreign yoga tourists in India get their soul filled with spirituality only for it to be stripped by Indian airport security.

I was forced to watch this as kid and I knew something was special about this film then. Definitely added to my film going curiosity.

What’s a movie you think nobody but you and a handful of people have heard of, that you think is a fantastic film? Well, I have a quirky taste in films - enjoy dark comedies and Pushpak is one such black comedy - an eighties movie with no dialogue.

What’s a movie you think nobody but you and a handful of people have heard of, that you think is a fantastic film?

India is not a country for women.

At least German trains don't have cockroaches.

Saw my first cockroach in years on a train. My friend, sleep in my ear.

These gated communities are just like Soviet era Plattenbau's, just replace government control with private control

First Indian train in years and I'm going to shut complaining about German trains.

Being inside an Indian gated community you see why it'll never attain anything like the German egalitarian equality any time soon. Everything we take for granted as being public in Germany is privatized here, far removed from the real world, corporate Favelas.

Indian identity, European intestines.

Euphemisms used for an explosive diarrhea: Asian paints, masala dosa, omelettes, spray paint, napalm, limited upload unlimited download, bum grenade (friend of bum gun)..

A trip to India is never complete without virulent diarrhea.

"I need to do a strategic export of my excess to achieve internal equilibrium" "What do you mean?" "I need to take a shit" "Toilet's that way"

Welcome to Brain City Berlin where you will be living in a drain.

It's so relieving to back in Visakhapatnam for the first time in years. People play familiar music in public spaces, I follow conversations without having to evert considerable energy and the city is so laid back that often there's nothing to do than to lay back and chill.

War exercises in full swing in Vizag right now

Wanted to buy my first suit and ended up buying a black one which apparently is only for funerals in Germany. FFF.

Years in Germany have prepared me for meeting family I haven't seen in years and with whom I don't have anything in common anymore. So the topics of conversation always shifts towards poop.

Four days of Indian food and my butthole is dousing flaming napalm.

Mosquito killing is a dance form with four simple steps - slap, slap clap, clap.

Killed my first mosquito in two years, feeling proudy.

Bookstore in my city has entire rows of genocidal, fascists, Hindutva literature and it's impossible to find a single book critical about the current state of affairs. One book's called, "Termites: How the left is destroying the world through subversion". And these are the cheapest book on offer.

The idea is that you get frustrated by the food and that automatically makes you healthy enough to leave the hospital. Curing through manipulation.

If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.