I forgot BlueSky was a thing until just now when Wesley tagged me in a post. Hello everyone.

I’m having dinner with @satanspice.bsky.social let’s goooo

I hope none of the clientele at work tonight pick up on my shitty ass vibes. I really just feel like bursting into tears but I have to put my customer service face on.

Makes me mad when celebrities who already make millions of dollars start OnlyFans accounts. Like ??? You’re taking business away from people who actually need this for their livelihood? You don’t even need the money kindly fuck off

Just saw a reel saying the best smores hack is to stick a peanut butter cup in marshmallow fluff and then stick it in the fire and I think my life has been changed.

The energy that Jamille brought to our Return of the King watch party at the bar is exactly what this night needed.

I will forever standby the sentiment that Magners tastes like ass.

I was super cunty to this gay guy who came into the bar and he was like, “I like you. I’m buying you a shot.” 🤣

Got news that I’m going to be in a long distance relationship for the next 5 months starting on Monday. Spectrum outage made us unable to clock in or open for the first hour of our shift. Main security guard no-call-no-showed. I need a bisexual witch to tell me what is happening in the cosmos today

Told Lauren I was running on two hours of sleep and so she brought me a shot, a Red Bull, and a water. An actual angel.

White boys in movie theatres really be lovin chicken jockeys, whatever the hell that means.

Me: “Which fork is mine? Is this yours?” Steve: “Does it matter? I’ve literally licked your asshole.” @stevenaleck.bsky.social

Do not have enough liquid courage in me yet but just got signed up to sing Suddenly Seymour at karaoke against my will. Here we go.

Went to get tested and ran into two people going to the same play party as us next week. Lmao.

I am so insanely busy between having two jobs and two partners right now but honestly?? I’m happy. So it’s all good.

Home tonight for the first time since Friday. Gonna sleep for four hours then get up, go work a double, and be gone for another five days because I’m house sitting for a friend. Why do I even pay rent at my house anymore at this rate lmfao

So, girl I fucked at an orgy that I now shoot OnlyFans content with just got hired at the bar I’m working at. Managers don’t know that we know each other but will figure it out when we’re working together on Wed and I’m wondering how to tell them how we met. Gotta keep this shit professional. Lmfao.

Goddamn I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

Not Steve fact checking the historical accuracy of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and finding out that a lot of it was true 😂

Thinking about how an ex-metamour who happened to be a landlord wrote me a fake letter of recommendation saying I had lived at his property for years when in reality I had been living in the apartment I was applying for without being on the lease for years. He was a homie for that.

Can’t imagine marrying someone while you’re still in the honeymoon stage. Like. You have no idea where things are going to go in a few years.

Hahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahaha I fucking hate my dad

If sexuality is a spectrum, that implies that there is one person on earth who is the gayest.

Hot take: pizza rolls are better in the microwave than the oven. I don’t like them when they’re too crunchy.

Oh no, She Is Coming. I am getting crampy.

Weirdly aware all of a sudden that every piercing in my nose is a different gauge size. My septum is a 16 now (used to be a 14), my right nostril is an 18, and my left nostril is a 20. Whoops.

Dropped a Happy Tree Friends reference in the work group chat and I don’t think anyone understood it.

Most annoying group of girls at the piercing shop rn. They’re holding everything up. I’m just trying to get this stud out of my nose pls.

“This is the kind of rain that makes me feel like a grocery store broccoli” @satanspice.bsky.social

Everytime Steve burns a marshmallow too much, he gives it to me. 🥰

@richardfink.bsky.social just did an impression of a southern gentleman and he sounded just like Kenneth Branagh in Wild Wild West.

If you’re still making posts that say, “respect people’s pronouns or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem” - punishable by death.

There’s a girl I’ve been friends with on Facebook for like 17 years and she used to let me copy her math homework everytime I stayed home from school but aside from that we never spoke to each other. Like, I know absolutely nothing about this girl aside from the fact that she’s good at math.

Somebody here definitely did anal because there’s shit all over one of the beds 😂

People make a lot of jokes about dog peets smelling like Fritos but what no one is considering is that it’s the other way around - Fritos actually smell like dog peets and that’s kinda gross in that order.

More excited about sitting in the jacuzzi at this sex party than I am about getting laid tonight tbh.

I know it’s not my place to even get upset about it, being cis. But it annoys me when someone’s pronouns are they/she or they/he and everyone just calls them whichever one they were assigned at birth because “it’s easier”. Like, yes, TECHNICALLY they don’t mind it. But you’re still not even trying.

Watching people just let their dogs go ham licking their faces makes me

Get you a girl that can do both

90% sure I just landed a second job that would end up being my continued employment once my current contract is up. Hustle, hustle, hustle.

I am feminine in the way that scares men like a deep sea siren and I think that’s where I was able to derive my confidence from.

“Mothra! A lesbian icon! The Cher of monsters!… Wait is Cher even gay?” @stevenaleck.bsky.social

Sent @richardfink.bsky.social a heinous pickle meme via text. Saw that his notifications were silenced. Chose notify anyway.

You best know if you’re posting concert videos, especially multiple in a row. I ain’t watching that shit. I scroll right past it. It always sounds like crap on my phone and isn’t an accurate representation of the performance you saw anyway.

I love introducing any of my friends to Sameer because he’s the most interesting person I know.

Another day, another bruised cervix.

Menditto is coming to town this week apparently and I told everybody at the bar about how he sent me a text saying he wants me to get him pregnant and Marty was like, “fuck him with your huge black dildo and a pink condom. He’d call the police.”

Somebody buy me a book of Mad Libs. I miss doing Mad Libs.