why tf were we supposed to care that the SNY broadcast director was schtupping his camera guy's adult daughter? the mets broadcast is full of unwatchable mistakes and the audio levels are consistently fucked now

mark vientos might genuinely be the worst athlete ive ever seen

now that it's warming up, i can really start dressing

that actually seems like a pretty good definition of "vicious" to me

i carry 3 pocket knives to man the help desk and tell people to unplug their router, my cv says "network engineer", and i'm here to tell you that you should die if you got a master's degree instead of going to the world's shittiest community college for "computer science"

hedi slimane dior jeans were fashion victim pants back when they were new, so it makes a lot of sense that rich zoomers are paying 2k+ for them now

boy i hope the bus shows up before it starts raining at this uncovered bus stop 🤓

this is your sign from the universe: it is time to play a jrpg

rice and beans goes head to head with two eggs on "most perfect meal" who ya got ⁉️

died a lovable, sexually fulfilled chud award

activating the parts of my brain that love misery by turning on the mets game

lady on the bus in front of me smells like dior sauvage and pizza grease

little more unbearable than reading someone wax poetic about nostalgiaslop you were there for but don't care about. well, i don't care about any of it because i'm not a slave to the past

claude ad with layers and layers of fake film grain and noise, desaturated colors and light leak transitions. kys!!!!

looking up the weather where the ebay seller lives so that when it's 97° and he thinks "i'll never sell this jacket" my lowball slides in looking real nice

Now it’s motherfucker time

when im stressed i have to throw on videos like "6 hours of hanging curveballs getting obliterated" and watch the whole thing on the clock

this is so funny, i have these jeans and they did not come predistressed lol. thank you for listing them at 2.5x retail from 2013

🫴

9:37am monday: i need to get real

$15 at the grocery store: "do you think im some sort of stupid consumerist whore??" $15 online: "well that's basically free"

my gf bought my favorite book (i havent told her it's my favorite book. gatekeeping my opinions) and one day she's going to open it and recognize my tattoo and it's going to be the most embarrassing conversation of my life

its too bright in my apartment, too filled with warm natural light, to play video games. i have to spend saturday reading or working on personal project. dont pmo

i touched my earlobe and i swear to god it just stretched out and grew at least 1cm

ohtani just hit me up on ig and said he needed to hold some cash for a plane ticket and he'd get me back as soon as i landed but im pretty sure from the photo he sent he was at the horse tracks???

amusing myself by responding to every post as if it's an npc opportunity to gain paragon or renegade points

kill all baseball players for the evil they inflict on me

ive been trying really hard to fix my horrible and habitual "only work seriously under imminent deadlines" attitude but the fun part has been finding out even if i work more consistently the sick stress feeling doesn't go away so what's the fucking point

david stearns die like the idf rat you are

favorite game on instagram is seeing some shitty trend chasing restaurant post and the account has absolutely zero indication of where it actually exists. so you hunt a little, check their older posts and deep down there 8/10 times it's in singapore

i have no dedicated linen closet, this is no way to live

balls ☝️

the bicep curl so beautiful it heals the world

"file your taxes" "file your taxes" "file your taxes" how many email reminders do I need, I'm not fucking filing my taxes man gfys

drape this over my casket, engrave it to my headstone, take an ad out in the newspaper

For Sale: Secretions Magnifique, sprayed once

creative director @ school of hard knocks

i bet itll feel amazing to be a batter challenging a call in the 9th inning of a no-no

redditors love to show you pictures of their half eaten food like some kind of toddler barbarian with a sweaty potato chip in their hand

kind of shit i was on the same day i started talking to my soulmate

leg day has compromised my quads to a permanent end

rapper bragging about his zojirushi rice cooker

its antisemitic to not love the bomb

tribute to israel at loan depot park groyper liked your post

its so obscene that amerikkkans will never suffer any real consequences, they'll never have to endure months on months of missiles strikes and bombings and terror

get ready to learn farsi, buddy

if i only look at my reflection in the microwave door i looked kinda jacked

david stearns serves up another steaming shit on the most expensive silver platter around. david stearns tongue fucking dicky lovelady every day, didnt even realize the season started

I’m fine with paying more for gas if it means other Americans suffer