I have an itch on the side of my heel but I can't like... Find it? I'm scratching the whole area but it eludes me still

BREAKING: NuCaloric announces Vapable Hot Dog after disrupting snack food market with last year's Drinkable Cheeseburger.

ripped my shorts at texas roadhouse

doctor started throwing up gang signs mid prostate exam

Workplace too boring so I replaced all the fire extinguisher foam with pressurized gasoline #epictroll

If you think about it, LinkedIn posts are just the shittiest possible rendition of zen koans

YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE (MODE:M, @clone.bsky.social, Zach Fendelman) "A Collaboration with Aj Gonzalez and Zach Fendelman done in 3 hours at the Game Developers Conference 2026" Free - Browser: warpdoor.com/2026/03/17/y...

My ancestors sold my hands so that theirs might be more potent

Geoguesser keeps showing me the locations of unmarked graves

Babies cry because they don't remember anything

There's a "is anyone even reading this" sort of honesty you get in the software update release notes from a project that's been around for a long time.

I just killed a man #based

they call me young mercury because prolonged exposure will drive you insane

Discovering that there's a lot more peanut butter in my room than there should be

Causing interplanetary industrial havok with repurposed bipedal construction equipment with @duskseraphim.bsky.social over at www.twitch.tv/11spades_ and www.twitch.tv/DuskSeraphim respectively. Do your part, support the cause

@twowordhorror.bsky.social (un)just encasing

I wonder what the smallest allowable change for a revolution is. A complete change of structure typically requires revolution (by way of overriding existing paths to change), but can you go smaller? Can you have a revolution to change exactly one policy?

An apology is most meaningful after you act so insane that it appears that you are unable to tell that you're doing something wrong.

News from on high; Epic Games will be retiring Easy Anti-cheat and shifting development efforts to their new project, "Hard" Anti-cheat. Executives claim that this move will "like, totally filter casual developers," citing a need to establish "a ranked, competitive games marketplace."

I found a 2GB SD card in the parking lot outside of our office and I swear the only thing on it is a game boy camera photo of a cat

It always irritates me when I read the word "impacted." If you were speaking, you would have said "affected," not "impacted," and you're a coward for trying to avoid learning which word to use and when. Did an unexpected shift in the economic tailwinds *physically slam into your revenue*?

we bring you #1 premium service 1/6

Given all the ruckus with LLM scrapers, I have to wonder whether they are IPV6 enabled. If not, I think it'd be hilarious to see migration finally occur as a short-term, last-ditch attempt to escape the ravenous wave of spiders

A very happy wolf moon to all the witches out there

Why the fuck did Assassin's Creed Unity get an update in 2024. Who are they paying to still work on this???

Convinced that my Brita is magic. I put water in a small little tray at the top, and almost double the volume ends up in the tank. Crazy shit.

My body is a machine that turns two proximal pounds of Worther's Originals into two pounds of body fat

When you think about it, the existence of cotton candy flavored (ice cream, lollipops, rock candy) is insane. It's just candy trying to be other candy.

God I love insurance. I want nothing more than to wake up to a bill that is orders of magnitude larger than what I was told it would be (on three separate occasions), four months after the service was rendered. I love spending hours on the phone, answering the same question, for no real resolve.

Misspelled "Stockfish" as "Stockfuck," and I think it's just over for me as a person

Why do they call it the intelligence community if it's so compartmentalized and everyone's trying to fuck each-other over

People say it's gonna be nuclear war or artificial general intelligence. I think it's gonna be New Prion Disease. I will not elaborate.

Is it irrational to value a large continuous block of free time over two smaller blocks of free time?

Woke up and my shower is on Dante Must Die mode

The visceral horror of hearing New Sounds from the elevator

When you think about it, it's a small miracle that glass is chemically stable enough to contain most acids and bases. Like, we could just as easily live in a world where the first chemists just fucking died because normal liquid containers weren't up to the job.

Making your own imgui widgets is a lot like peeling scabs. It hurts the whole time, but you derive some perverse pleasure from the process, only to be left bloody when it's all over.

We should have gone to LinkedIn instead of Bluesky. We had the opportunity to right a wrong, and we blew it.

I've decided to purchase a fleet of roombas, strap solar panels to them, and then unleash them upon the American Midwest.

Foods with "enjoy by" dates when I eat them without a semblance of enjoyment

Listening to my roommate talking about fantasy football with his boys is my new nightly entertainment. For five consecutive hours each night I get to hear this man screaming like a stock broker during the crash of 2008, and half the time he's just telling other people what trades to make.

Committing crimes against god in order to sync calendars between devices without a home server. THE VAUNTED [Thunderbird <-> radicale <-> radicale-decsync <-> syncthing <-> decsync cc <-> Simple Calendar] PIPELINE

I'm going to challenge whoever made Protobuf to a duel of honor

After reflecting on the amount of time I've wasted on small, silly tools, I've come to the conclusion that saving time isn't the only benefit of automation. Sometimes, there is more value in saving your train of thought.

The magic of a 9:00 PM peanut-butter sandwich is not to be underestimated.

Pondering the primal urge to chew and swallow hard candy despite the fact that it will: * Not be any more tasty if I do * Last for significantly less time if I do Truly, I am no better than the chimps that I am derived from.

Charlie Daniel's "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" unambiguously states that Hell exists on a metaphysically higher plane of existence than Georgia and I think that's something that we, as a society, should be talking about