My toxic trait is curating a custom playlist, putting it on shuffle, and then acting surprised when every song that comes on is a song I like.

It finally happened. It is 8:00pm and I just found out my son is supposed to wear a costume and bring a home made food item to school tomorrow.

Latest words of wisdom from the 8yo: “Violence isn’t the answer. It’s the solution.”

If you’re sick of hearing your kid yell six seven, follow it up by singing five three oh niiiine. It won’t make them stop but it will make them as annoyed with you as you are with them.

Maybe red onions were named by a colorblind person and no one wanted to tell them.

Just saw an ad for the most perfect jeans, clicked the link and found out you can’t buy them. You can only subscribe to them. The future is here and it’s stupid.

There was an episode of What I Like About You (2005ish) where Nick Zano says “Coldplay is so over” and it just keeps replaying over and over in my head this week and I can’t find it on the internet and I’m starting to think I imagined it.

I’ve noticed a new trend of handbag ads that include books. I’ve spotted such classics as “Every Day Every Moment”, “The She Book” (very she), “Butter”, and “Differently Monment Own” (Would 100% read a book about butter)

I have to give a presentation at work today and I’m tempted to slip one of these slides in.

30 years ago today the pilot of NewsRadio aired. To celebrate 3 decades of our favorite show, a small but mighty group of dorks has put together a tribute page featuring lots of NewsRadio love. www.tribute/wnyxnewsradi...

Why?

January lasted 84 years and February went by in half an hour.

The big day is coming up. You stoked? Don’t get the shaft!

If you like the #SNL50 Celebration, check out my book #WereNotWorthy - sketchcomedybook.com. There's a chapter in there with stories you have never read before. The best part is @ghostpanther.bsky.social working as the "campaign manager" for Morris the Cat from 9 Lives.

The 7yo’s new trick when I ask him to help out around the house is to flash an Uno reverse at me and tell me to “respect the card.”

My kid couldn’t think of the word cantaloupe so she called it a knock-off watermelon.

The 10yo has stopped asking me for bedtime stories and started asking me for improv prompts.

I bought one of those red light things and my son asked me what it is. I told him it’s supposed to make me look younger and prettier. He told me I didn’t need it 🥺 Then he followed it up with how moms aren’t supposed to be young or pretty 😤

We watched the coverage of the count down in Times Square and I casually said “I wonder who they put inside the ball this year.” Now my kids have a lot of follow up questions that I am refusing to answer.

I haven’t shared my targeted ads in a while. Would you, by chance, be interested in a menstruation crustacean?

I score big time in the office white elephant exchange!

I won #NaNoWriMo2024!

3,403 words One more day left! #NaNoWriMo2024

3,115 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,521 words I got the 40k badge today! #NaNoWriMo2024

4,749 words #NaNoWriMo2024

1,729 words Got the 21 day badge today! #NaNoWriMo2024

1,226 words #NaNoWriMo2024

1,715 words I passed the 30k word mark today! #NaNoWriMo2024

1,902 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,883 words This story is getting so spooky it’s scaring me. I’m questioning my choice of genre. #NaNoWriMo2024

3,654 words Today marks the halfway point of November and I am almost halfway to my goal. 23,561 words total. #NaNoWriMo

1,672 words #NaNoWriMo2024

601 words Any progress is good progress. #NaNoWriMo2024

1,743 words #NaNoWriMo2024

1,518 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,482 words #NaNoWriMo2024

1,404 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,165 words #NaNoWriMo2024

Five-ish years ago I accidentally exploded a glass baking dish inside my oven. This morning I opened my oven and it flung a chunk of Pyrex at me. How was it still in there? Where has it been all this time? How did it come loose? So many questions.

1,163 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,130 words #NaNoWriMo2024

2,119 words #NaNoWriMo2024

I just forgot the word seahorse and my brain decided it must be called a horse fish.

Hi! My name is Lauren Weston, Finance Chicken.

Daughter tells me she heard today that if you wear a band T-shirt (especially as a young woman) and a man says to you “name five of their songs”, the correct response is “name five women who trust you”, so I pass this on in case any of you need it

Have you ever seen an episode of House Hunters and heard that narrator’s voice and wondered what her name is?

I have to bring a large pot of homemade chili to work today. Don’t want to pull a Kevin.

Part of me thinks, it’s Listerine, does it ever really go bad? But the other part of me thinks 2009? Two thousand and nine???

I spent too much time searching the internet for a very specific plant pot. The algorithm has stopped serving me ads for pots and started serving me ads for pottery classes. I think that’s the internet telling me it doesn’t exist and I need to make my own.