Bitches from Portland love saying “the mountain is out” when the mountain is out (I’m bitches from Portland)

It’s over for you bitches

I fear it’s only a matter of time until Rivals nerfs Captain America’s dong

Me hearing Psylocke have a British accent

🚨MAGNETO BEARD🚨

X-MEN ‘97 I am obsessed with you!!

Told my dad I was trying to befriend some crows and he goes “no you can’t, they’ll betray you!” ??

Finally watched Hereditary and damn little diva head really did come off

It’s kind of wild how Mr beasts whole thing is psychologically torturing poor people and then people treat him like he’s some kind of philanthropist

Put a finger down if you were up half the night going down a bedbug death spiral on Reddit and obsessively checking your bed and throwing the lights on every 10 minutes to catch them in the act (there’s literally zero signs or reason to think you have them)

It’s reassuring to know that no matter how crazy life gets or how shitty the world gets or how advanced our technology gets, nick at night still exists and is always playing friends at 2am

Feeding your dog natural food is wild, what do you mean I have to give them hamburger and lettuce and cottage cheese and potatoes

I hate to say it but I do fuck with the “straight dude with a guitar sitting around a campfire singing melancholy songs” genre of music

What kind of fucked up child poops in a urinal???????????????

My Patagonia themed drag name would be Patty Bone-in-ya

Changing my tune on this because I forgot my AirPods so I’m raw dogging the gym and these kids are hilarious like you’re so right, Ashley did get weird after she quit softball

It’s an outdoors summer

“The next person to say ‘furry femboy’ is getting a timeout” is a real thing I had to say today

Obsessed open.spotify.com/track/7bMkok...

Me every time I drive past the diner from Twilight: “oh hey there’s the diner from Twilight”

Baby do not hand me a camera at the function and ask me to take a picture. It will be blurry as hell every time

@chaosbeef.bsky.social decided to ignore @gaypnw.bsky.social and I to talk to some twinks.

Spiders: awful, scary, hate them. Jumping spiders: just cute lil guys that I love

Hate that I have to crawl around in the SEWERS with the RATS just to get the skins Rivals locks behind Ranked

I cracked 3 eggs in a row with unbroken yolk for the first time in months after posting this…

Do you think if I changed my Rivals name to “Scott’s C-Men” I’d get put in time out

Obsessed with this gay couple always walking by work and one is tall and wears a Luigi hat and one is short and wears a Mario hat

Whoever paid an Etsy witch to curse me to have 1/3 of every egg i crack break its yolk, please im sorry for whatever i did pls call the curse off

Concept: Grindr but for coming over and rubbing aloe on my back and then leaving

Cyclops being against a new school because it’s too dangerous to gather together, hate this!!!! Character assassination!! My Scott Summers would never

Where y’all big boys buying slutty little swimsuits from 👀

“I’m skipping Pride this year because I don’t feel like partying as we slip even deeper into conservatism” well I think a big problem is that you’re thinking of Pride as a party

Why show dick when teasing dick is so much more fun? 😈

Come see me and other Ruggers dance in Portland on the 20th for Bearracuda! @bearracuda.bsky.social

I used to love tank in rivals but it feels almost unplayable with all these fucking cc attacks

Trillionaire? Are you fucking kidding me

Get in there 🐽

I think that a second Brat Summer would cure me

Kind of wild that I haven’t seen any theories that Sadie Sink will be Firestar in Spider-Man?? Like that makes infinitely more sense than Jean Grey

EMMA FROST HAS A VOICELINE WITH SCOTT ABOUT THEM ENJOYING SCOTT BEING TIED UP OMG WE WON

Is Yellowstone good or is it just a republican power fantasy show? Because I kinda wanna watch it because Beth looks badass and her husband is hot but I feel like it could easily go the other way

Not to sound like a grumpy old man but I hate seeing the gym full of teenagers. Like shouldn’t y’all be out drinking or doing drugs or getting killed one by one by a masked killer or something

Tried to help a coworker jumpstart her car today but turns out she just wasn’t stepping on the brake when pushing the start button 🤦🏻

Idk how I became Scott Summer’s defense attorney but y’all better start putting respect on my man’s name 😤🔫

KINGDOM HEARTS 4

I’m not going to buy the switch 2 just for Ocarina of Time. I’m not going to buy the switch 2 just for Ocarina of Time. I’m not going to buy the switch 2 just for Ocarina of Time. I’m not going to buy the switch 2 just for Ocarina of Time. I’m not going to buy the switch 2 just for Ocarina Time.

I cant believe that Rivals is giving a Doctor Strange a new weapon…

Maybe there’s a reason parody movies went extinct