Chappie. A film so profoundly awful my friend’s empty wheelchair tried to commit harakiri halfway through by slipping it’s brakes and roaring headlong into the screen.

Sorry. That account seems perfectly lovely and very worthy but they just use too many emojis. Nope.

Night, BlueSkies. Love you guys. youtu.be/T80B7s7ekGo

New five year deal for Dom. I’ll buy that for a dollar #YNWA✊

Right. Off to the library. Dressed like this. youtu.be/iuDJue0r2G8

Another warm day. I’m going to the library.

The Trump Regime really wants Americans thinking about China. And with good reason. I mean, just look at the evidence

Again with this election nonsense. Still, President Rapey has nicely laid the groundwork for cancelling the Mid-terms.

You’ve been murdered. Who do you want on the case?

Looking forward to seeing Gianni Infantino at the final. I mean, he’s been at every other game. And we apparently have to see his stupid face every five minutes.

I remain skeptical about Shabana Mahmood. Everything she did at the Home Office was performatively callous and ham-fisted.

This obsession with testosterone in the Trump Regime is pseudo-science of the worst kind. Right up there with scientific theories like kill a spider - make it rain. And one-for-sorrow-two-for-joy. Absolute bobbins.

Anyway, head-busting 6k walk today. Get stuffed, diabetes.

Less than gruntled today. Pointless anger about things I can do nothing about.

Dear gods. Lee Dixon

Absolutely shaming. Why are none of these crooks in prison? Why hasn’t a penny from this corruption been clawed back?

This moment asked so little from them. All they had to do was pay their respects, express their sadness and join the chorus of horror about the manner of Widdecombe’s death. But even that was evidently beyond their moral capacity inews.co.uk/opinion/fara...

Just me walking up the road so I can turn round and march back down again like a tit for the camera.

Aw, man. Sam Neill 😕

Once again, usually it’s sad when somebody dies.

All the other parties are cowards who are running scared of standing against me. Either that or they are just refusing to give legitimacy to an attention-seeking scam designed to avoid scrutiny and justice. Pretty sure it's the first one though...

This is terrific. Hats off 👏👏👏

Really enjoyed that Norwegian fan who refuses to do the Viking rowing thing because it’s historically incorrect.

People pretending to sing on Telly just seems weird now #TOTP

I see Farage has made someone else's murder all about him as expected. What an utter piece of shit .

Forgot to 📢📚 #Books

Stay out of the sun. Lurk in the shadows with this!

6k walk today. Thanks #Metallica

The fevered ranting of Northern Ireland racists is bad enough. But I really despise the hypocrisy of the It’s-Understandable-Brigade. Politicians cynically surfing the tsunami of hatred and outrage for a few votes.

Grainy image from Moygashel last night

Usually, it’s sad when somebody dies.

🇫🇷

I am enjoying Farridge’s fascist fuckwits losing their shit over a guy dressed as a bin.

The foreign press laughing at Farridge is just joyous.

Racism is the new sectarianism this Summer.

Bonnie Tyler always had the most amazing hair.

Today feels like being nibbled to death by ducks. Fkn Royal Mail, man. And the heat. Still, I’m enjoying Bobby Jenrick being investigated by the cops for corruption. Weasley wee shit that he is.

Nah. No one needs to hear about my piddly-ass problems today.

People in Belfast are literally melting. Time to hit the library.

"Hands up if you called a by-election to distract attention from your dodgy finances but ended up running against a bin and looking like a right dick"

Changing a tap today. Honestly, I’ve never felt more like a proper bloke.

Oh, author copies of new book arrived. They’re sooooo pretty. So….preciousssss.

Fkn hell, President Rapeyhands isn’t taking the USA’s defeat well, is he? Surprised he hasn’t tried to bomb Belgium. And again with this Greenland nonsense.

When this Switzerland- Colombia match eventually ends, let us pour salt on the grass, lock up the stadium and never return here again. This is a cursed place.