Ok WTF does offside mean #fifa

Having mead not made in Scandinavia is like having a crab cake not made in Maryland

When we see someone smoking Virginia tobacco in a foreign land

When my credit card says I'm near my limit

Me_irl

After about a week in another country i can say Americans definitely sound like every stereotype of Americans and this includes me

My gender is whatever bathroom line is shorter

My inner monologue be like

Me_irl

The douchelord behind me won't stop shit taking the opening band at this show. I hope he's looking over my shoulder to see that I think he's an absolute cunt. I've said it out loud a few times but I think he's too drunk to hear me

I know when we’ll see a lot of ‘em.

Ok Google How much cheese can I legally bring home as a souvenir

Drunk purchase prescription sunglasses y/n

I just ate twopointfive Krystal cheeseburger under the influence of Wegovy ama

One of my favorite concert moments was in Portsmouth when Cyndi lauper told the losers up front to stop recording and enjoy the moment. I felt that shit cc @dresserlook.bsky.social

You realize you're an adult when you stop trying to fix people and start trying to fix your yard

We're at 219 supporters. Let's get to 225! Tag 6 friends who can help by donating or spreading the word! #StarTrek #TrekTalks Text TREK to 53-555 to donate to @hofoco.org WATCH: www.youtube.com/@TrekTalksTe... Register to bid: givebutter.com/c/trektalks5... Donate: givebutter.com/c/trektalks5

It's amazing that I am still trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo when I can barely manage my first language some days

It's time #spring #equinox youtu.be/Bs_aI2m8pag?...

Me: I wanna try that new McDonald's burger My body, Wegovy coursing through my veins:

I know no one's been waiting for my opinion on AI art but you're going to get it *Ignoring environmental concerns for a sec* I am cool with people using it for a dumb fuckin bit or a profile picture. But people who use it for business purposes need to be hit with an old school wacom tablet

Hey all, please pass this along on your socials. My bro is still paying down medical debt for cancer treatment, so every bit helps. He's auctioning off comic books as well as custom artwork of his. @joethemadtitan.bsky.social Every Thursday at 7pm Mountain. www.whatnot.com/user/joethem...

Unlike you I get my news from a reliable source!

I can't remember shit that happened earlier today but meanwhile I remember this random ice skating routine from 1992 youtu.be/Jl2AV8qwN8U?...

Behold, the best extra toasty cheezit ever made

Pro tip: don't go on a deep emotional exploration of dream symbolism 10 minutes before a professional video call

Pretty well timed notification from Duolingo #superbowl

Is Billie Joe Armstrong in his Brian setzer era #superbowl

Man I was really excited for the opening ceremonies but it's not delivering for me. Paris had Gojira and drag queens goddammit

I always order a gin and tonic at bars that don't have a cocktail menu because I assume they can't fuck it up Today I learned ... They can

Abso Lutely

When "Cruel World" by Willie Nelson starts playing at a bar where you're just out living your best life having brunch drinks

Whenever I feel shit about my current job and start considering going back to my old one I remind myself how that boss called Ken Jeong "the little Chinese guy who was in The Hangover" and told me "no one cares what Mexicans think" when I had an issue with an idea he had for a sugar skull T-shirt

💖Traditional Christmas Music Makes Me Wanna Throw Myself Down a Chimney 🎀

Picard's not amused #startrek

The best / worst thing about ai is that when you or your favorite podcast comes up with a stupid bit that should never have effort put into it, you can make it happen. Also all of the environmental damage is bad Anyways here's Hamburger Hamlet @threedomusa.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?

Dear people who bring their dogs everywhere: Why

Me_irl

I just ordered a salad with a shit ton of canned mandarin orange slices and it transported me back to the 90's. Not the cool 90s, but like the late 90s when decor was green and purple and beige

Starting my Thanksgiving prep, I had the legitimate thought that I need to make a binder to get organized and I'm disturbed but excited at the very idea

I suddenly got an irresistible urge to buy a denim jacket. Who am I even

5 minutes into watching yellowjackets and I'm annoyed that the song choices don't match the year. No one was listening to Snow sing "informer" unironically in 1996 Get. Off. My. LAAAAAWN

Work today be like

Can Lana del Rey please make a spooky version called "high by the graveyard"

Me when I use tongs to mix the bag salad kit I opened up and dumped in a bowl

I girlbossed too close to the sun, according to the bartender who encouraged such behavior

Watching White Lotus season 2 is gaslighting me into wanting an aperol spritz