( @widowofthewaves.bsky.social * 💞 )

( speaking of ' meemees ' he's sending one to @suitandstatic.bsky.social ) ( who gave this man access to the Internet.ᐣ )

" mee mees " ( squinting at the phone like a dad who just got handed a phone to look at. )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 he'd use stock images as memes i fear

" what are . . . " ( squinting at a random phone he found somewhere. ) " mee mees.ᐣ "

( flowers for the wifey. flowers for the wifeyyy. )

( laughing his tailless ass off at Vox getting ragebaited. )

( @widowofthewaves.bsky.social * 💞 )

( @demoninred.bsky.social. )

( on his way to obliterate bluesky. )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 plus an Orion x Alastor version for da bestie ( @widowofthewaves.bsky.social )

( keyboard mashing his soundboard. RIP to the ears of everyone in the vicinity. )

ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ #ʙɪᴛᴄʜ

( he quite liked this part of the city, or at least he did before the angels came along and turned the place into their own personal stadium. ) ( he's never been one to care too much about territory, afterall, he saw himself powerful enough to see the ring as his but in this moment +

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 cracks knuckles

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 TIXKTXKYXHLCKGXJTXK

( taking a nice stroll through the bloody streets he had missed so much. stupid, Rosie .. making him go quiet. smhhhh. ) ( oh.ᐣ what's this.ᐣ he recognises that beautiful doe sat across the street. if he knew he would be reuniting with his wife today, he would have brought flowers.ᐟ )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 i can hear his stupid little " your choice " AUGHH. putting him in the microwave

( the bastard that should have stayed gone, did not, in fact, stay gone. )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 Same vaggi. Same

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 me: uses big frown emoji. remembers his ass can't frown. grrs

( 😁 )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 for those who did not see the post over on venus' old account before the move, Alastor will be getting a reset. this raggedy bitch just returned from war. ( 7 year absence. )

ʙᴜʀɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ sᴄʀɪᴘᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʟʟs.ᐟ

( in the corner of the room, on the floor in the position that you would put a dead person. radio static sigh. )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 I CAN'T BREATHE 🤣

( DEER NOISES. )

( when you're just going about your day and suddenly your granddaughter shows up and throws a tree at you. ) ( elder abuse .. WAIT— )

𝘐𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝙼𝚢 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 p̶e̶r̶f̶e̶c̶t̶ ι'м b̳a̳c̳k̳ αgαιη 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 p̤̈r̤̈ö̤m̤̈ï̤s̤̈ë̤ 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 ɪ ᴅʀᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᏕᎯᏨᏒᎬᎠ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ MY ᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ĪS ĤᎾĿY

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 rises from the dead to bully my muse. very on brand for me.

( SHUT UP. )

( it's alwAYS THE DAMN TREES. )

( hold on. wait just a moment. he needs a minute to admire his gorgeous wifey. and to also give her a new year smooch. ) " another year with you . . . how did i get so lucky.ᐣ "

( @widowofthewaves.bsky.social * 💞 )

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 projects my hatred for seductive sundays onto alastor

" i hate Sundays .. PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES BACK ON. "

WIFEY WIFEY WIFEY. WIFE. WIIIIIIFE.

ONYX Oh human Orion, how I love you 🥺

𝘛𝘚𝘜𝘐 " alastor is smelly. " " alastor is unhygienic. " this man smells like every cleaning product imaginable, a hint of cooking spices and whatever perfume his wife decided to wear that day. he definitely has a breakdown at least once a week because his damn teeth a permanently yellow.