Meltzer: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It's called dosemaxxing

Mans must have slipped on a banana peel

Fuck Geese I like to hear about bands the old fashioned way: the Tony Hawk soundtrack.

I grew up in the 90s. 3 indie acts made it big while pop music imploded and then the remainder of the decade was *nothing but* industry plants. Geese are nothing.

ah man that is the LAST place you want a fire

50% of wonderwall is 100% of wonderwall

cybertruck owners are achieving levels of unfuckability scientists previously believed impossible

He tweeted an assassination threat at Barack Obama but he said he was real sowwy bout it

Dead in the middle of Little Italy Little did we know that we riddled two middlemen who didn't do diddly

[MORRISSEY VOICE]

Put this in the woke 2.0 Smithsonian

Orban and Bolsonaro remake of Guildenstern & Rosencrantz are dead

Goodbye Viktor Orbán you fuckin ham & egger

these 3 guys started a podcast about their favourite chip flavours and within 3 weeks it was exclusively about the great replacement theory

Do not eulogize Afrika Bambaataa

your $300 home jersey watching you pick up that greasy monstrosity

[the Commodores voice]:

you can only bring a dog to the movies if they're wearing little dog 3D glasses

cAn'T bElIeVE ImagreEinG wIT MeGyN KeL- [I take a break to drink more toilet water]

Daniel_Powter_bad_day.mp3

Joe Rogan appearance paying dividends

The Israelis have been openly hostile towards the dems on the world stage for almost 30 years. Theres no reckoning coming from any leader and the Israelis know it, which is why they keep doing it.

hear me out: maybe "agreeing with alexjonestuckercarlsonmtgmiscellaneousothernazi" was **always** on your 2026 bingo card and you are just a gross dunderhead

Chuck Schumer: truly these are the darkest of times. Hakeem Jeffries: we must act decisively to meet this dire moment. Lin Manuel Miranda: yo mr president, if you wanna move the crowd, you gotta stop it with all them whack mushroom clouds

Smart move giving Druski a heads up on this

Two groups push for his comeback every year: one group peaked in 2004 and believe they can flip a switch and get backpack Kanye and a full head of hair back. The other group are nihilistic shitheel empty vessels wearing ugly ass $600 yeezys. Both groups bought into nazism because Kanye told them to.

Humankind has not developed a drink cover big enough

All the places you could incomprehensibly smoke in back then had vending machines so you could grab a pack of smokes and then go right back to your ailing family member or Sunday service or class that you were teaching and smoke more

Charles Barkley angrily told the media in the 90s he wasn't a role model but it turns out hes the best role model to ever come out of the NBA

Anti-bedtime leftists or as I like to call em, Guevaras in Pajamas

Me: this edible ain't shit 1 hour later: Butter than Ezra

I'm bringing hasselback (TIMBALAND VOICE) YAAAAAP

Kendrick really did break his whole fuckin brain

In Canada we call him Jay Zed

You know what? I think Greenland could have taken them.

The difference between cucumbers and pickles is jarring.

These people should only know suffering every waking moment of the rest of their lives

this movie was a full-length ad for the Nintendo Powerglove and Super Mario Brothers 3. You bet your ass I was there opening night.

[Perry Farrell voice intensifies]

it brings me no pleasure to state this, but Donald Trump's White House has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

Sometimes you have to separate the art from the artist. One way to do that is by privately enjoying the artist's output as often as you like and shutting the fuck up about it in public.

Will Ospreay: #AEWDynamite

My wife said that Phonk is basically if Cocomelon was a music genre and just bravo

I guess we're now in Post Malone era