Your daily moment of zen, this little chonky spaniel doing his best impression of a platypus

Sometimes feels like gravity turns up and decides to make a show of force for days to weeks. 'Hey, howdy, hello there, coming through! Whoops! Hope that wasn't important haha, aloha, hi, hi,hi,hi' And then just buggers off for months leaving sitting in a wreckage of shattered glass and crockery.

Currently setting up seating in the circle in hell reserved for people who cause product shortages because of viral tiktok recipes. WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE GREEK YOGHURT? Now I have to spend my Friday night making yoghurt because social media turns everyone into trend zombies 🙄

Decluttering in middle age is like: 'I'll just have a quick sort this drawer for 20 minutes (i.e. 2 hours), although I definitely sorted it not long ago' .... 'Wtf is all this shit?' 'Oh is that where that went?' 'I really like this, why is it this drawer?' 'This is useless, why it in this drawer?'

Speak up Albo! theaimn.net/an-anatomy-o...

My manager wants me to put a stronger focus on learning and development and career aspirations in my PDP and honestly I'm just trying to make it to the end of every working week while my main career aspiration is to retire early and get chickens.

I imagine there's people out there who live their whole lives without a personal operating system comprising hundreds of random notes to self/ thoughts/ideas/ to do lists/shopping lists scattered liberally throughout their living space. Must be nice.

In yet another totally cool and normal day in US politics their veep is preaching about Mayan child sacrifices and ancient pagan brothel graveyards. Had reality folded in on itself? Seriously, get your water tested because what in the literal fuck?

Today I learned that I'm absolutely not the only person whose brain goes 'do doooo doodoo do' when someone says 'phenomenon'

I've been mistakenly added to an email chain from an o/s AI analytics startup firm - about as far removed from where I am and what I do as it's possible to be. There's an ongoing convo about proposal submissions to some kind of US defence work/ ITAR compliance. Somebody's going to be in troooouble.

When you'll do anything to avoid paying an actual writer or photographer www.abc.net.au/news/2026-01...

I genuinely thought someone had AI'd those aviators onto Macron during his Davos speech and I know this is all very serious but lmao.

Y'know when you're obsessing at 1am over a conversation you had earlier in the day and whether that sentence maybe came out wrong and the other person probably hates you now and this may have tanked your reputation for life etc? Anyway, meet Hegelochus. He'll do nothing to alleviate your concerns.

The sky is being all fancy again but now I need to go to sleep #aurora

lol no he asked Australia to sign up for a $1B country club subscription www.abc.net.au/news/2026-01...

The US regime really did not get the memo that the rest of us like to have a gentle interlude with maybe a few naps, extra chocolates, time with friends and/or family and some cosy down time as we ease into a new year. SOME COSY FUCKING DOWN TIME, OK?!

Everything's kinda hectic so here's an excerpt out of my 1985 travel diary from when I was 10 years old. Not gunna lie, this sounds like a pretty ideal day.

Oh, it's like the aurora watch for swearing - Coronal Mass Expletives

Festive season is upon us, praise cheeses

Cool story Nate. Now let's run the experiment.

I'm personal aggrieved and offended by how badly designed this fork is and believe I'm entitled to some form of financial compensation

There's a lot of media headline focus on the whole 'last 5 years of your social media' activity as a pre-req for getting into the USA under the ESTA system, but I think the other requirements are much worse and far more outrageous.

I'm just a girl, sitting in front of a screen, pathologically replacing every 'like' that should in fact be 'such as', twitching internally and gaining a newfound respect for my grumpy, pedantic, elderly Form 3 English teacher who despised the word 'nice' as a descriptor.

Quite a lot going on here.

Ooo, I actually called this out weeks ago! You mean I was actually ahead of the game on something? (and it was the White House using outdated fonts?) Yeah, sure, that tracks.

I haven't had to do one of those 'select one of these 3 potentially catastrophic future data breach options to continue' age verification thingies yet, so I'm guessing my profile pic has been scanned by The Machine and there's a self-care package currently winging its way over to me.

Miss Piggy haiya-ing everything she had a problem with was quite honestly a vibe in my formative juvenile years.

Life is short. It's even shorter for a dog. Just shoot your shot kiddo, and let the chips fall where they may.

Yes, I realise it would have been smarter to pick one fake date of birth and stick with it across all the platforms but what can I say? I'm impulsively cantankerous in my pursuit to not give away excessive personal data. I've lost track of how old I am, but I believe it ranges from 35 to 70.

Tech bros shocked that normal human beings enjoy thinking

Just back from my annual pilgrimage to the post office to send out various seasonal sundries and say 'Jesus Christ WTF?!' under my breath a whole lot. Despite not sending any gifts internationally this year after nearly suffering an existential meltdown last year, the situation remains batshit.

Look, right up front I hate using CheatGPT. It's occasional, but I resent that it's the only way I can get on top of my excessive and continually growing workload. But posts like this make me really wonder....how TF is everyone else using it? Because I sure as shit am not using it like this.

I can't be the only one who thinks people wearing full.overear headphones in a car is just odd, disconcerting and possibly dangerous right? Right? It gives me vague 'wearing socks in the bath' levels of discomfort.

Will never not find this hilarious

I'm surprised the Trump Govt hasn't run a false flag operation yet, maybe there's no-one left who's halfway smart enough to pull it off. Seems to be a flavour of corruption that's relying more on complicity than complexity.

I was trying to find a clever way of making this point but I did have a sinking sensation this morning that we're all about to be subjected to an onslaught of venal corruption and unforgivably bad grammar

I take at least this many steps per day returning to where I was after forgetting what I'd gone to get. And then remembering and going back to get it a second time.

Well, I say, I say, I say, anyone want a job teaching AI how to be funny? I mean, this ad made me laugh but maybe not in the way they were intending.

Remember when cheap cane laundry baskets that you got for for about 10 bucks from K-Mart were super common? Well eventually they start breaking and between now and whenever the last time I bought one was, they've vanished.

Even when you avoid them by catching your own fish the Tasmanian salmon industry is still hell bent on ruining it for everyone. Wonder if we'll be able to swim at the beach this summer or if we'll get treated to another round of oily balls of rot www.abc.net.au/news/2025-11...

Being a person that is very behind the times on what's trending + procrastination mentality + trends being cyclical = Very often inadvertently ahead of the trends

Psst! Did you know I have a blog that I only sporadically post to and barely ever promote? Anyway, it's not behind some annoying substack paywall and it's mostly about growing food and living in rural Tasmania. I hear blogs are becoming a thing again www.applewoodandearth.com

On Monday I got a LinkedIn email from a marketing company. Not unusual. Ignored. Then a request to connect from an employee. Then an email to my work address. Then a phonecall (thanks but no thanks). Then a follow up email to my work. Now I've been added to their mailing list without my permission?!

The inevitable capitalist trajectory www.youtube.com/watch?v=xed-...

I'm assuming she dressed as herself

I guess Sussan 'recovering punk' Ley has made a full recovery

I want someone to do a psychological profile on the type of person that thinks it's totally fine to pull out directly in front of an oncoming car cos they're only going an itty bitty little way up the road before turning off. Signed, my brakes.

Everyone saying the Louvre heist is an Ocean's 11 moment needs to get their heads out of American media for 5 seconds and educate themselves on Arsène Lupin.

And on that day, not a single shred of dignity could be found. Spinelessness in leadership has become the defining trait of our modern era. I should probably stop being so disappointed.

One of these days my foggy perimenopausal brain is going to feed my dogs twice in a row and it's going to be their best day ever. Signed, someone who just tried to fetch the same thing from the freezer twice in under a minute and couldn't figure out why it wasn't there the second time.