Just realised that the Little Bo Peep nursery rhyme is basic sheep husbandy 101 Second verse should probably go Little Bo Peep found her sheep are stuck Little Bo Peep could not give a f...ffflying fudgestick

A lot of my time online is just *oh, I've never heard of this bird before *I'm immediately obsessed with this bird now Also, navy, white and black? This bird is my wardrobe.

Today is #SharkAwarenessDay. We don't have any sharks in the collection but we do have this absolutely enormous 36-foot ladder, which is so long that we have to display it on its side.

I'm so old that I remember a time when literal weeks could go past and nothing much would happen. Weeks! Months! Then a big event would happen and we would Talk About It For Quite Some Time. God I miss the boring times.

Legends. Always. This is such a sad loss.

"The presence of a critically endangered species is not always enough to halt logging in Tasmania."

A large part of my last two weekends has been building a small fortress against the Relentless Incursions of Pooping Mouse the Third (its two predecessors were not trap savvy). I have now installed 9 separate pieces of timber across the pantry and kitchen in my campaign to thwart the little shit

I feel like the defining statement of our current era has got to be 'Oh, this is just like that Black Mirror episode'. Anyway, hi Waldo.

🎵 They say we're young and we don't know, won't find out untiii-i-iiil we grow

Hey everyone I did some DIY today and didn't colossally fuck anything up or have to go back to the hardware store even once or even break a nail so I just wanted you to all bask in my brief and shining glory because this can't last long.

Hey look, we've found one of the old gods.

These instructions remind me of people who use the wrong technical terms because they think it makes them sound very photosynthesis

I bought more random art at the tip, which are either a) original William Valentini pieces worth a few thousand, b) someone professionally knocked off his work or c) some kind of licenced reproduction. What I can say for sure is that they were expensive frames once, and they're 5.5kg each!

Clicking on a thing just as the page refreshes and the thing moves and makes me click on a different thing that's not what I want and that takes me somewhere I don't want to be and then having to go back and try again, every bloody time, will be what ultimately destroys me.

The human desire for whimsy and special rocks will never be extinguished.

'Go away and get somebody to bury you cheap, and I'll pay half the expense' Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat Peak insult fodder from the 1880s

Me and a couple of shitty mousetraps are the leading cause of a local obesity epidemic amongst the resident mouse population. I guess they're enjoying the parmigiana reggiano though.

I've been thinking about the kudzu issue in the US...for, er, unrelated reasons.

Mmm...that sounds like a you problem

Garffeld

So, are we going to call this Algae-gate or Al-gate?

My boomer father has recently discovered AI photo restoration and no of course I can't talk him out of this current obsessive rabbit hole and yes it's exactly as tedious as you're imagining.

If you're looking for cheap thrills, I recommend placing holds on audiobooks using your local library reader app. When it's finally your turn, don't re-read the summary, you'll have no idea what you're reading or why and will just have to trust your past self.

If you're desperately wondering what this ranty old woman is raging about today, my current mission is to find a cheap 'addressed mail only' sign for my letterbox and wondering why I should even have to pay for such a thing. You can infer the rest of the problem yourselves.

Some infant who's been in his job less than 5 minutes responded to my request for input for a report - where I explicitly said I'd send through a draft for review once everything had come in - with 'please be sure to send a draft for approval' and this is how thermonuclear incidents happen.

I'm a daughter of two immigrants. Just because I'm white, doesn't make me any less immigranty. It just means I was raised with more garlic and twice as many confusing pop culture references.

You can go through the strait free, but it takes 2 days, or you can subscribe to Hormuz Plus.

If you catch me out in the wild, looking distracted, confused, muttering..it's partly middle age but more likely because I've just seen something I expected would cost me about $8.75 priced at around $50 Today's episode brought to you by $36 pet wet wipes.

Have any of you tried editing a pdf in the Year of Our Sky Demon 2026? Because I've been at it for the last 3 hours and it's making hitting my face with a hammer seem quite appealing.

JFC. I've worked in the admin side of zoos and there's a very long standing practice of animal loan contracts (insider tip, China does this with pandas, retains all ownership rights and charges a LOT for the privilege of getting an asexual potato bear) www.stuff.co.nz/world-news/3...

This is basically the Rage playlist from 2.30-3.30am on a random Saturday in 1996.

absolutely amazing Lyme Regis #FossilFestival find shirt by www.etsy.com/shop/SpeedTh...

I finally started watching The Witcher, mostly to watch Henry Cavill in tight pants, but my favourite bit so far is whoever on the sound effects team made the choice to use pigeon sounds for the barn owl #ecologistswatchingfantasyandscifi

Oh this seems like something that will work really well and not go completely tits up at all. Visa - it's everywhere you want to be...and also now quite a few places you don't.

I DO NOT WANT THE MACHINE TO CONVERSE WITH ME. I REPEAT, I DO NOT WANT TO 'CHAT' WITH THE MACHINE. IF THE MACHINE STARTS USING MY NAME I'M GOING TO COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT.

Instead of phone scrolling my way through whatever is playing on the TV, I often sift through old photo archives instead, cull some, edit some, and find new favourites in amongst the collection. St Mary's, Kent, UK. 2011.

I read a great summary comment today about how AI is just tech bros stealing all of our work without permission or payment, using it to train a model, and now want to sell it back to us in a way that makes our lives worse but is being pitched as somehow inevitable.

RBS banknotes have featured wildlife for several years. @rachelburden.bsky.social As part of security features, when put under UV light, the notes reveal hidden colours and translations of Gaelic poetry. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 www.natwestgroup.com/heritage/sub... mymodernmet.com/scottish-ban...

The fun thing about roadworks in Tasmania is that they put the 'roadworks ahead/speed limit sign' a long time before they get around to putting up the 'end roadworks' sign and it drives me absolutelybatshitnowhereelsedoesthiswhatiswrongwithyou?

The cowardice and reluctance of most of the mainstream media to call out, in clear language, what Pauline Hanson and One Nation stand for, based on their past and current behaviour, is an utter disgrace. We will remember the Fourth Estate's role in this Trumpian, fascist, and racist shitshow.

Derp.

Well this is going to be a fun month! OK, starting strong with the OG UK punk band (they pipped Sex Pistols to the post by about a month dontcha know) #50YearsOfPunk youtu.be/TUxFQ5QBiYk?...

One minute you're young and self conscious and insecure and hoping you'll pass for cool, the next you're middle aged and beyond caring, singing along to ELO at the tip shop while rummaging through piles of discarded clothes youtu.be/z9nkzaOPP6g?...

The most likely candidates are 1) a meeting with a high school careers counsellor who advised me on a workaround to get an environmental science qualification despite not having the right pre-requisites for a BSc (you really don't need that much maths to study living systems) and 2) psychedelics

I was today years old when I was informed that 'only old British people' use the term 'safe as houses' Welp, that's enough from the comments section for today youtu.be/snILjFUkk_A?...

The strong paternal drive to hover around and make a godawful racket the moment that any women in the family are on a call/in an online meeting needs to be studied.

God I rant a lot about everything these days. I mean, I don't intend to stop doing that any time soon, I just wanted you all to know that I'm aware of it.

Nobody warns you about the bit in middle age where you're trying to get a little DIY advice from a clueless infant staff member in Bunnings who's busy asking Google what an inch is in metric while you repeat '2.54cm' at him over and over again.

This is not how words work.