This is a much better autopsy.

I actually made an effortpost. In the wake of the disastrous DNC Autopsy, I wrote my own. ordinary-times.com/2026/05/25/j...

Did you read @ordinarytimes.bsky.social today? @captainkudzu.bsky.social on possible war w/ Iran @wvesquiress.bsky.social defends West Virginia post-60 Minutes @ogjaybird.bsky.social on Tourette's & media coverage thereof @hal10000.bsky.social on SCOTUS + State of the Union & more ordinary-times.com

From @ogjaybird.bsky.social "I understand that Vegas is no longer Vegas but now “Universal Studios Presents The Las Vegas Experience Brought To You By Chipotle" ordinary-times.com/2026/01/31/s...

I made the album cover for Isotopia by Sgt. Splendor. Available now! See if you can spot Kate, Eric, Paulo, Angeline, @woodywoodstraw.bsky.social @kittenkuroi.bsky.social @ogjaybird.bsky.social @marabou.bsky.social and me :) motherwest.storenvy.com/products/369...

When I saw the ad, I knew I had to be a good dinner guest and bring this to @ogjaybird.bsky.social for dessert.

It should be "Julio and I down by the school yard".

She's alright She's alright She's alright

Okay. You know the B-52s song "Deadbeat Club"? Fred Schneider holds up an album at one point in the video. Is that a Ray Conniff album?

new ankylosaur just dropped: www.theguardian.com/science/2025...

dang that sure is new vegas

> Be me > Be a cat > Hanging out with my human > Periodically human reaches out to scritch my ears > Periodically human reaches out to jiggle my belly > It's nice, I guess > Worth purring > Human takes out plastic rectangle and shoves it in my face yelling "SAY CHEESE" > MFW

Tomb fungus does face turn

Did Burger King corporate ever acknowledge The Humpty Dance or did they just say "there is literaly (literally literally) no way for us to handle this well, so let's just ignore it"?

Saturday Gaming from @ogjaybird.bsky.social "The story is good, the characters are good, the universe is good, the combat is good, the exploration is good, the reveal is good, and the *FINISH* is good." ordinary-times.com/2025/06/28/s...

If your law is good when there are good people in office, but dangerous when there are bad people in office, your law is bad.

I saw this sign in an antique shop yesterday and I can’t stop thinking about it. Books are like eggs

I genuinely think this particular aesthetic trend (Good Art Is Didactic And Also Assumes You Are Very Stupid) is a non-trivial source of anti-woke backlash, like unironically. It is really really annoying, and I think it has provided wedges by which anti-wokes can radicalise nerds.

I have played two "OH JEEZ LOUISE PAY FULL PRICE FOR THIS GAME!!!!" games this year. Blue Prince Expedition 33 They're both amazing. And couldn't be more different.

From @ogjaybird.bsky.social "DON’T BE LIKE ME. DON’T BE AN IDIOT AND THINK THAT IT’S BETTER TO USE FRESH CORN!!! But when I made a bowl for Maribou the first thing she told me was “Wow! The corn is really great!” so… maybe it’s worth it" ordinary-times.com/2025/05/22/w...

I did some percolating on something @ogjaybird.bsky.social wrote @ordinarytimes.bsky.social and here is the result. Give it a ponder yourself, see what you come up with ordinary-times.com/2025/05/05/t...

Seriously. If your tastes overlap with mine at all, you need to pick up Blue Prince. Don't feel like you have to wait for a sale, you won't feel ripped off even at full price.

From @ogjaybird.bsky.social "Well, after Aqualung came out, all of the Serious Critics praised the album talking about how it was a high-minded concept album critiquing social policy, interpersonal dynamics, & religion. And Ian Anderson got ticked off about that" ordinary-times.com/2025/03/19/o...

I just remembered that the government steals our hour this weekend.

"Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch and the theme song to Sesame Street are the same freakin' song.

From @ogjaybird.bsky.social "So it’s a rumor my parents told each other and, heck, maybe my grandparents told it too. It’s a thorn in Tootsie Pop’s side, of course. They had a letter that they’d send to kids saying “Nice Try” when the kids asked for a free Tootsie Pop. Even Mister Owl got involved"

On @HeardTellShow we talk congress, Trump transition, politics of DCA, RFK Jr & Autism, reporting on gov't, & more w/reporter @EricMGarcia iTunes podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i... Spotify open.spotify.com/episode/5Qg7... YouTube youtu.be/cV0oIJYEmIU SubStack open.substack.com/pub/heardtel...

As a child of the 80s, let me just say that when I heard that an artist started beefing during the halftime show, I had a completely different mental image than the one the speaker intended.

From @ogjaybird.bsky.social "All in all, this was an *AMAZING* four-player game. It’s a fun game that rewards ruthless aggression and everybody will have a hoot when the chain reactions start. Seriously, this game lives up to the hype. So… what are you playing?" ordinary-times.com/2025/02/08/s...

Buddy's kiddo turned 16. I gave the kid $20 and told him to buy a CD with that music he likes or a DVD of one of his favorite movies. We all laughed.

"She's Morphine. Queen of my Vaccine." THIS SHOULD NOT WORK AS A LYRIC. IT IS UNFAIR THAT IT IS FREAKING AMAZING IN PRACTICE.

Short Status Report on the Abilities of AI

Heard an *AMAZING* song on the way to work. www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtcxPNqb-S4

(In PVP) Player One: Your mouth is writing checks that your ass can't cash! Player Two: ...nobody writes checks anymore, dude. (Player One has disconnected.)

Best I can do on short notice:

The Return to Iceland essay has been submitted to editorial. Here's the original Iceland essay from 2022. ordinary-times.com/2022/05/12/o...

What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.

most people don’t realize that having a readily available, even kinda-accurate answer to “how many Asian women under 40 with a college degree live in Pomona” is a world-historic achievement that requires an industrial scale, heaven & earth moving effort. it is on par with CERN. not hyperbole.

The xeriscaping is always browner.

Me and Rumpus.

Back here after having inadvertently allowed my twitter timeline to become a cesspool. Help our mutuals find me?

Dear Mister Sandman, As it turns out, 'lots of wavy hair like Liberace' was included as a requirement prior to the release of the National Library of Medicine report on 'Excess of counterclockwise scalp hair-whorl rotation in homosexual men'. Can the dream request be amended? --The Chordettes

Recurring nightmare. I'm getting married but instead of "Here Comes the Bride", the band starts playing "Pomp and Circumstance".

Why Delilah, Why?