It finally happened. Cat Distribution System has struck. Found this little goblin rolling around by an oil refinery.

ari drennen is like caitlyn jenner for trans people

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

Beep is the strongest warrior!

Caught these two slugs banging

The Spice

Some of you might want to nab this. No particular reason 👀

I used to have a lot of trouble getting up in the morning; hitting snooze, having 10 alarms on my phone 10 mins apart, etc. then I started drinking a bunch of water before bed and now the piss forces me to get up. Piss: the goated alarm clock

ME: I don’t look too clocky, right? WIFE: No, not at all! You do look like a lesbian, though. ME: Ok whew, perfect!

Thank yuo The Left

Snort laughed at work

Out on the town having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They're all just out of frame, laughing too.

MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry

Looking for a new pharmacy that doesn’t go out of their way to immiserate me and found maybe the most unhinged yelp review I’ve ever seen God have mercy on anyone who gets between this lady and her decorative Christmas gnomes

God I wish this were me

Made a Nigerian style beef stew with plantain fufu*. Took like 5 hours but so goddamn good. First time having fufu or Nigerian food at all. ICYW, this is “swallow” food; I’m not chewing the fufu. *Yes I know it’s the wrong color. My plantains were too ripe, and I think a banana snuck in there.

Started lifting again; back in my testosterone-having days my 1RM for squats was like 285 lbs. Now (admittedly, years later) I’m struggling to put up 65 lbs lmao.

They lubby chudder 😍

Woah, big slug

Hell yeah just days away from finally enjoying A Tomato

My wife made this beautiful and interesting soap dispenser for me. Not sure what’s up with the pony (?) but it’s a very sweet though and the soap works great!

Saw someone’s discord kitten waiting for her bag at the airport typing faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. She was using a combination of predictive text and gestures the likes of which I’ve never seen. Meanwhile I long for T9

My handsome son, conveniently named Beef and Short Rib Lasagna

Good eating tonight 😤😤😤

Time for crab

It is pie time once again

Real gatherer hours who up 💯💯😤😤

Sword vs Spear is going to be crazy. If spear can out scale sword early on, it should be an easy spear victory. I don’t think sword has the speed to consistently counter (like dagger has); getting those early hits in will be crucial. I think it’s spear’s match to lose.

Goodnight, Ungoliant, my queen 👸

Made a lot of onigiri

Tony: Jesus Christ…you did it. You cooked those fucking cherries alive! Me: So WHAT? They were fucking DRUPES! $6.99 a bag! I don’t hear you complaining when you stuff your fat face with pie by the truckload!

Being a woman: 💞 💖 🥰 💖 💞 Getting creeped on by a random man while waiting in line for a burger: 😡 👎👎 Would still recommend overall, 9.8/10

Check out this beautiful Giant House Spider I found! She is my friend and I love her.

I wish someone talked about me the way Hunter Biden talks about crack 👉👈🥹

Hmm the 19th century letter writing style didn’t quite land with the missus, maybe an alternative style would be more to her liking

Pet names for the love of your life should never remain static

no fucking way

Yeah boymoding fucking sucks. Not doing this shit again.

Boymoding in a bumblefuck small town. Extremely convincing, I’m sure nothing bad will happen 🙃

Welcome to Babylon

My 6-year old niece wants to play Toontown Rewritten with me; I can’t find a meta guide or optimal leveling routes, anyone know?

So sleepy

Been killing it lately

Crops are doing well … irrigation is the future

I have my own pizza oven, can put as many toppings as you want; doesn’t cost any extra. For your health

Sunbathing is a team effort

It’s wormin time @worm-girl.bsky.social