Asking the experts

Joe Biden’s cancer has only been there for a few months but it actually has historical claim to his asshole and has a right to defend itself

Now is your time to shine

This looks like one of those win probability charts where a team leads for 3.5 quarters and then Steph Curry hits 6 threes in four minutes

Everything Everywhere All at Once but it’s a movie about what Trump is ruining

Just got to episode four of Adolescence…. something is definitely up with this kid

making a social media platform called “blacksky” where you only tweet about the apocalypse

“The revolution is inevitable.” I patiently explained to my fellow comrades in the steam room of my Equinox gym

In Support of NYC’s New Public Bathrooms

This story is so lovely. Paige Bueckers is a real one. www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Finally found a decent place in New York to take a shit

It is a brutal time to be even remotely intelligent

Thought-canceling headphones

Funny to watch the Oligarchs who happen to be catholic paint literal targets on their foreheads

Finally, some good news

My response to Christian Nationalists going forward will be “Jesus was a Palestinian who would’ve fucking hated you”

Nowadays when you read about someone lighting themselves on fire your first thought is, “yep, makes sense”

the thing about chasing what you think is public opinion is that if and when things turn you will have made a bunch of statements and taken a bunch of stances that you’ll have to disavow. probably a better strategy just to say what you actually believe and stand by it. anyway, this guy sucks.

I think a big thing that separates the generation’s outlooks is when my Dad was 9 he saw the moon landing and when I was 9 I saw 9/11

the cutest bride and groom outfit ideas for my communism themed wedding 🤵‍♂️👰🇨🇳

I can tell my libido is going down because I’m getting more interested in bird watching

Not all trump supporters are nazis but all nazis are trump supporters. Interesting!

How awesome would it be if he turned it on and dropped it on himself?

gravedigger of american democracy. a more malign influence than john c calhoun.

Wan’t to strengthen your relationship? End everything with “not that you even give a shit” Your SO asks you “how was your day?” Reply, “good, not that you even give a shit” this will show them that you are independent and do not need external validation You’re welcome

Anyone who defies the administration getting rounded up and shot* The Media: are we headed for a constitutional crisis?

I’m like Don Draper minus the aura, style, creativity, and money. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I have a drinking problem

(pointing to punisher logo on policeman's shirt while being arrested stealing baby shoes from Ross) thats fucking awesome . I love dead pool

You: Davidson, it is impossible to make money on social media Me: Ok, explain this:

Stocking up on luxury items before I head back to the US

Here’s your screen time for this wee—

Happy Valentine’s Day, Babe

ICE agents breaking down my front door and shooting my dog* Me: yeaah, I don’t like to talk politics

Good news for haters everywhere

These are the people who call you brainwashed sheep

If 400 billion dollars wont make Elon happy I know what will. 500 billion dollars

I’m very bad at self promotion because I fundamentally don’t believe in the core product

My dreams if I fall back asleep twice

A Letter to my Younger Self: “Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!”

Trivia in 2032: This famous person said “i love hitler” in a tweet in 2025 Was it: A: Kanye West B: The richest man on earth, C: The President of the United States D: Just kidding there wont be trivia in 2032 cause we will all be dead

Flirting in the dms

I now have a substack, patreon, instagram, tiktok, youtube and bluesky. Happiness is just around the corner!

For those of you who think electing democrats is the best way to stop fascism, I have a question for you. Where do you guys buy your crack? Im looking to get into smoking crack

I have to imagine young girls and boys in Palestine wonder what they did to ever deserve their fate, soon we in the west will wonder what we did to deserve ours. The answer will be Palestine.

RIP to David Lynch. You taught me it was ok to be freakishly weird and ruin social situations if I’m even slightly bored

It is very easy to predict the future right now if you just imagine how the dumbest, most racist person you know would handle something.