Didn’t realise Jules Rimet is the name of the trophy. I thought it was ‘Jewels remain still gleaming.’ AS IN THE CROWN JEWELS.

Starmer is the world’s biggest case of “I accidentally became important at work” Via @patrickmaguire.bsky.social and Gabriel Pogrund www.thetimes.com/article/2cb4...

How it started v How it’s going

How it started v How it’s going

The suspense I felt through this tweet was unreal. Was really worried it might go the wrong way

In today’s @thetimes.com Diary How Labour whips cocked-up so badly that they had to get MPs to feign illness in the division lobbies And then got a hell of a bollocking from the Speaker www.thetimes.com/article/d339...

Am amused that we’ve had so much chat about so-called silly dress in the House of Commons This is place where, until recently, you had to put a top hat on to make a point of order

In today’s @thetimes.com Diary How Labour whips cocked-up so badly that they had to get MPs to feign illness in the division lobbies And then got a hell of a bollocking from the Speaker www.thetimes.com/article/d339...

Reform said they were delivering the cheapest fuel in the country It wasn’t even the cheapest fuel in the county…. or in a 10 mile radius This and more in today’s @TimesDiary www.thetimes.com/article/817d...

Reform said they were delivering the cheapest fuel in the country It wasn’t even the cheapest fuel in the county…. or in a 10 mile radius This and more in today’s @TimesDiary www.thetimes.com/article/817d...

Surely these should be called The Peter Files? #mandelson

In my @thetimes.com diary this morning We now have as many party leaders who worked at McDonald’s as we do those who went to Oxbridge Team Macciedees (Polanski and Badenoch) Team Top Degrees (Davey and Starmer) www.thetimes.com/article/8a33...

At least replacing historical figures on banknotes with animals will take all the controversy out of those decisions

You can’t argue with Sandi Toksvig’s CV

The juxtaposition between the headline and the photo caption is quite something

Let’s hope no MPs have fun with World Book Day

Let’s hope no MPs have fun with World Book Day

Rock cakes? Marble ice cream? Key limestone pie?

My take on Dance-gate in today’s @thetimes.com Diary Speaker gets into the swing of things with Angela Rippon www.thetimes.com/article/2a1b...

A lot of current and ex-MPs getting on their high horses about this but… seriously? Has the fate of the Middle East really been jeopardised by the shadow arts minister and colleagues spending 10 minutes highlighting the health benefits of dance?

Strictly Come Dancing comes to Westminster A chance to learn about pivot turns from the experts

Looks like there will be a second coming

I get the strong sense that the bulk of media are calling Starmer's position on Iran entirely wrongly right now. I simply don't believe that most people out there are either as hawkish as the Tories or as anti-everything as the Greens. Being conflicted in the middle seems about right to me.

Much focus on that new poll, but we are in midterm madness. Voters are lashing out and minds are unfocused. And events are unstable. Look at the polls at the equivalent points after 1979, 2010 and 2019. All in turbulent times and they bore no relation to the final result.

A number of narrow government defeats in the Lords last night, often just by one or two votes. Labour peer points out that the whips office must be the only people missing Lord Mandelson.

You can tell politicians are different because they never start those messages: “Dear Prime Minister, I hope this resignation finds you well…”

Giving my son a ride on my back while I sing the theme from Lawrence of Arabia

A noble Lord got in touch after former plumber Hannah Spencer’s victory in Gorton and Denton. “I don’t know how welcome she’s going to be in the Commons, but she’ll be very welcome in the Lords,” he said. “We’re always having trouble with the heating.”

Today is the 100th birthday of D-Day veteran Harry Rice. A hero and a wonderful man - the embodiment of spritely. I will never forget him, aged 98, dancing for the children at the 80th anniversary in Arromanches.

Well, I have good news for you

Yes, they didn’t have a hope Yes, they didn’t try Yes, no one will notice amid the headline news But this is a bad result for the Tories as they lose their deposit and look over their shoulder at the MRVLP

It’s good morning to everyone but it looks like it’s goodnight to Keir Starmer

Using only a quote of someone else's post, explain where your life is at right now.

Looks like Monday night in Charing Cross was mad

John McDonnell says the level of money sent from Labour Together to Labour figures is “shocking”. “It’s almost as though an organisation has bought a political party”

Hello…

Dentist: “hey Darryl come to the dentist office. It’ll be chill, no difficult stuff” Darryl: “okay!” [and so] Dentist: “okay, actually I wanna see something”

Reader, it was one of the happiest moments of my life

Today is a day I’ve long dreamed of My first trip to the cinema with my son

One Battle After Another survived being split in two. An absolutely gripping and funny thriller which, in totally bizarre and mad fashion, manages to depict many of the several ways in which America is deeply, deeply unwell.

We went on a Thames river tour the other day, and it was excellent but the guide seemed to think that a number of words simply meant famous when, in fact, they had negative connotations. A personal favourite was “Sir Christopher Wren, the notorious architect”

Well, at least it’s free range

On the other place, have been told I’m a “morally bankrupt Fleet Street vulture” engaged in a witch-hunt of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor with “frothing insanity”. My crime? Suggesting said ex-Prince’s appearances in the Epstein Files were something of which to be ashamed. How is this up for debate?

Fame at last!

Pre-parenthood, I used to treat the viewing of a film at home with the same sanctity I would a trip to the cinema - watched uninterrupted and in full Now, if the film is longer than 2hrs 20mins, we will watch it across multiple evenings. Non-negotiable.

More circuses should be named after Chancellors of the Exchequer

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Muppet

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

*The Epstein files are released* Britain a backwards constitutional monarchy: investigates a former ambassador and arrests the brother of the King. America, “the greatest republic on Earth”: does bugger all.