The US Ryder Cup crowds have absolutely no class whatsoever.

At this point if I get picked up by aliens, I’m going to consider it a rescue mission rather than an abduction.

They’re not going to use ID cards to track you. You’re too boring for anyone to care. 💅🏻😅

Can’t wait to drop a few hundred hours in to this next year! 🏁

Sometimes I scroll through on here and can’t help but think about how handsome you all are! 🥰

Kinda obsessed with this jacket.

What’s this? It is, of course, a doobley or a remote. All other answers are incorrect.

Back at the hospital for a check on my foot. Hoping to be discharged today 🤞

Disney and ABC bringing Kimmel back is a case of “go fash, lose cash” and I’m here for it. Boycotts work.

This is an excellent point. 👇

Since you ruined your site with a paywall? No thanks.

Everyone at work is at a charity day tomorrow, and I'll be... working from home 🫠

There is a rise in autism diagnoses because there’s a rise in awareness. That’s all.

Why would anyone take medical advice from Donald Trump? This is the guy that said drinking bleach would kill the Covid virus.

Graham Linehan being platformed on Sky News isn’t how you want your Sunday to start tbh.

Yes, Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension was government censorship

After years of complaining about cancel culture, the current administration has taken it to a new and dangerous level by routinely threatening regulatory action against media companies unless they muzzle or fire reporters and commentators it doesn’t like.

Guys! Guys! I forgot to tell you all something... It's my Friday today!

4 people have been arrested for beaming a picture of Trump and Epstein onto Windsor Castle? Fuck this silly little country.

Is it me or has September taken 3 months so far?

Apparently I'm overwhelmed and ill-equipped. 😆

Very weird and vivid dream last night. Our flat was covered in thick dust - floors and walls. It was coming from a nearby construction site because of high winds, but it was like a powdery grey dust. Everywhere was covered - outside too. We were trying to clean it using a brush...

I’d rather get a paper cut on my bellend and dip it in vinegar.

imagine getting qt dunked by ed davey. unrecoverable. you’re furious and he is serenely going down a log flume in bognor regis.

There’s something about a guy in a vest / sleeveless t shirt.

The Tories defecting to Reform are exactly the kind of career politician cunts you’d expect them to be tbh. Rats scurrying from one toxic shithouse to another.

Where is Keir Starmer? Where is the leadership? Fascists marched on our streets yesterday and he hasn’t said a single word. Instead the Prime Minister spends his time defending the “best pals” of paedophiles. He is a coward. He should resign.

The silence from Downing Street is actually deafening today. Keir, mate, they were calling for your assassination and you’re just going to slippery shoulder this one too? Fucking weak ass twat.

“Why do you think there are too many migrants?” “These questions are getting too much now” So chronically thick that they don’t even know what they’re marching for.

Aah yes. PATRIOTISM.

For the first time in my life the social norms that kept a lid on nationalist fascist racism; that reclaimed the flag; have stalled. The lack of actual vocal leadership for us to rally around - for the pro-democracy, pro-rule of law, anti-violent, majority - is now becoming an existential problem.

Immigrants are essential to the UK. A thread.

I suppose if Russia invades your (NATO) airspace and as a 32-member alliance you spend days arguing the hell about whether or not it was a proper invasion or not before doing very little in response, yeah, sure, they will do it again.

Take us back to this outstanding period of unity.

The Met are pretty shit, no? Catastrophic intelligence failure if they didn’t see the size of it or the violence coming. The fact they’re more interested in using live facial recognition during Carnival than a protest like this speaks volumes.

Fun fact: today’s protest was less than 8% the size of Pride in London and infinitely more violent. Love wins always.

Fuck the world. We’re done.

“They’re taking our jobs.” Sir, you have one GCSE in PE and two teeth. Please stop it.

Fuck Yaxley Lennon and Musk. Absolute bottom of the pond scum.

Hecka fire in Westfield Stratford. Everyone being evacuated. Helicopters flying overhead.

The government made a decision that’s not based in reality and probably not legally sound at all? Colour me shocked.

Calling on #PlantSky for some help! Dan has gone and overwatered our dragon plant to the point where the plant pot was full of water (and there was a distinct eggy stink!) I've drained it, and now put her near the window to dry. Anything else I should be doing to try and rescue it?

🌈

How do you answer the phone?

Charlie Kirk's rhetoric did real damage, full stop. But it's still disturbing to see people cheering for someone's death. We don't have to sink to that level.

Wes Streeting never fails to be on the wrong side. Odious little creature.

Love a good storm! ⚡

I’m here for this. Bring on the cosy nights and Christmas!

I was pissed off last night and wrote a thing.