Just got called out by a mate for scoffing at a new release for sounding ten years out of date, five minutes after I told him I'm reading Tristram Shandy

*admiring a friend's crochet blanket*: ooh who's this from? friend: mum's best friend, she's always knitting me: ah, it's lovely. it's crochet friend: yeah she loves knitting you'd really like her

Sometimes you just need to cane a fudge brownie Frijj in two minutes flat

Listen, I get it, it's 2026, she's long since been cancelled, this is not a relevant thing to think or post, and yet- I am extremely tempted to knit Azealia Banks's jumper from the 212 video

This sentence raises big questions about words I'd previously taken for granted

It's not all just quietly crocheting, baking, and reading in my flat. Sometimes I do my dinner sudoku while the oven is still preheating.

I paid over the odds for an out of season punnet of strawberries because this one was singing choral ecstasies to me through the cellophane

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE: oh my this is fun, oh what larks THE GREAT BRITISH REAPING BEE: well this is a spot of bother and make no mistake, what on earth

The ~550 year old Allerton Oak. Grandmother to grandson as I passed: 'No, you can't have a snack on the Allerton Oak. It needs protecting. It doesn't need your biscuits and Pom-Bears all over it.'

Lost in Time shawl, replete with some of the wackiest and regrettable colour choices I've ever made: complete

Went to Tesco drunk after a wedding before coming home. Took my shoes off, sat down for five minutes. Anything could be in this bag for life. I feel like I'm on Ready Steady Cook.

a memorable teams interaction in honour of my last week in this job

Before I looked at the tart photo properly, and before I read the text at all, I had an exquisite moment of scalar uncertainty when I wondered if it was a macro shot of a flower head or a micro shot of blood platelets

Not sure if we're still doing cottagecore but I just finished baking a tart and I'm about to get back to my crochet

Supplies for the Lost in Time shawl just arrived 💚💜

First knitted jumper 🧶

Once every few years, I make questionable yarn choices and start a stranded colourwork cushion cover, knit flat, with imperfect tension, which becomes a prolonged psychological war of attrition. Here is the latest. Happy Pancake Day.

I feed on messages like this. My greatest incentive is spite. Yes, I absolutely will have the time.

post a banger not in English 🇧🇷 youtu.be/E1tOV7y94DY?...

'If an American could speak train, we could not understand them' - Wittgenstein

The /r/crochet mods have signed off for a week because they didn't like being held accountable for political fence-sitting. Now they're getting mocked with Karl Popper memes. I love this hobby.

I thought my first knit jumper was gonna take, like, two months... I started this on Thursday.

Happy birthday Joyce! I gave over my whole 20s to writing about you and your wacky relationship with your brother, thereby missing out on my peak career-building years, doesn't matter, no regrets, love you to bits, have a good one xx

With zero irony: I need to get a big print of this picture. It's so beautiful. There are many spuds and he's just one guy.

So you're telling me that the app which makes you stupid, has been under surveillance by the CCP, can't be used by EU officials, and can only exist in the US by forming an independent entity there tied to Trump investments - you're telling me it's cracking down on political dissidents?

I'm generally fan of Utd's away kit, but in the current political climate please can commentators refrain from referring to us as 'the blackshirts'?

Sticking this on today to celebrate what would have been Tom's 99th birthday ❤️

Is Denmark flirting with us?

First completed project of 2026 ✨

Just eating some chalk to remind myself what risotto shouldn't feel like

I already miss Huey but also lmao

Big thanks to my subconscious for securing me a job interview 🙏

There was a Rest is Politics episode once in which both Rory and Alastair completely forgot about the existence of Robert Jenrick and had to be reminded about him by listeners

Local news outlet that died after being bought by Reach dies

When I am reading it, I see Tom himself, hunched over a typewriter, ironwork an alphabet in the windows (anybody can write like this), cashmere jumper a loose noose about his shoulders (and too many people do), smoke fingering from the ashtray, one hand down his pants, clause on clause unending

I've been sat here trying to think of a caption but really I just want to show off my pie.

I dreamt last night of submitting a job application in the form of a crocheted blanket which could be read in braille.

Let's have it.

Five years since I told my friend 'wow it looks like Trump's started a riot' and he said 'that sounds like social media bullshit' and I was embarrassed and put down my phone :(

This mincemeat matured for over a year. I got two lots of mince pies out of it, and the dregs have been turned into pinwheels with marzipan and flaked almonds. Worth the wait.

While the US has been saving the world from having too much oil, and you've all been chatting about it, I've been making a beautiful spreadsheet to track my current crochet progress.

Starting 2026 as I mean to go on: eating pickles from a jar and staring into the middle distance

It's been an appalling last couple of months. I've spent too much time moping and too much time on social media. Planning to get it all out of my system over the remaining 50-odd hours of the year, then spend 2026 in perpetual craft status.

This Christmas, I'm trying to finish reading Wuthering Heights before getting round to the Kate Bush adaptation

Bez at Mani's funeral / 'Head of a Man (With Red Eyes)' (1938), LS Lowry

Not now aggressive hepatitis, covid and herpes monkeys

Always wondered what it would be like to share a name with a weather event and let me tell you, it is... not cool