the bartender at O’Hare just made me a free hangover cure of bitters, soda, and lime… literal angel

Also shoutout to this upcoming book:

at the function asking strangers what they think the worst possible hotdog topping is (i think it’s shredded mint chewing gum)

back in the midwest for the weekend after 6 months in bushwick has me feeling like this about cornfields

this morning at laguardia i handed my drivers license and passport to the TSA agent and now that im in chicago i am seeing that they only handed back my passport

gaining popularity with my new students by being knowledgeable about various yaoi pairings in media

five not-physics classes i enjoyed: - Russian Literature (introduced me to Zamyatin’s “We”) - Asian Art History (cool! i can recognize the Jomon influence in the art styles of BOTW/TOTK) - Notable Concerts of History (Medicis to Woodstock!) - Mandarin Chinese (can’t speak, can pronounce names)

every time i go to the doctor i tell them i have had a hysterectomy and every time i get results back there’s always a negative pregnancy test in there

jail

Heaven Cent is my drag king name

i’m not crying YOU’RE crying

professoring real good out there 🫡

mr mamdani please put a hat on 🙏

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

ahead of the Big Snow i have never seen more ubers in bushwick than this

always humbling when a single glass of wine ruins my next day, really reminds me that i am from potato europe and not tomato europe 😔✌️

finally teaching again and classes start monday so im back on my Dr. Frizzle bullshit

the cover for CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF STARSHIPS is going to blow your tits clean off when you see it fyi

look. zines can have a no simultaneous submissions policy. OR they can have a several month turnaround time. but they CAN’T have BOTH 💀

dating hack: if a man asks for your thoughts on the notion of free will you can clip straight to being dropped off without fanfare by describing the field of philosophy as being “largely masturbatory”

how it feels to hear Clarity by Zedd in the club for the first time since college

my divorce was finalized today so i had to virtually appear in court. which seems fine. except that they put all the couples getting divorced in the same zoom room for the hearing. and let me tell you you’ll NEVER experience more atrocious vibes than virtual divorce court.

tattoo tribute to my first three books!! 1) CLOUDY WITH S CHANCE OF STARSHIPS (science non-fiction, Aug 2026 via Princeton U Press) 2) THE COSMOLOGICAL ESCAPADES OF ASHLEY ALCHEMY AND LEMON LOGICA (middle-grade science fiction, looking for beta readers!! 2027?) 3) [UNTITLED ADULT SPACE OPERA]

Hey, y'all! Come join me on Sunday, Jan 25, at 3 pm Central for a virtual campaign fundraiser for @hartzell.bsky.social! We'll be focusing on disability justice, and I'm proud to co-host with @thetattooedjew.com. Let's rock this vote and get Hartzell to DC!

one of the many advantages to having left academia is that i can talk my shit about notre dame and no one can show up in my DMs to threaten me anymore

a really fun bet to make w ur friends is to offer them $10 if they can read three sentences from the 50 Shades Generator aloud without laughing

is gravity really a force or is it just like. a consequence.

in new york you know when you have that shit on when a stranger tries to tell you to seek god

intellect wise the main difference between MIT and the community college i taught at was that the flyers in the bathroom at TCC were for like scholarship programs and the flyers at MIT reminded you to flush after you used the toilet

AAS attendees: please be mindful of those of us who cannot attend (me) by keeping them (me) apprised of drama, gossip, and other matters of intrigue. my DMs are open and my mouth is shut. thank you for your attention to this matter.

finished the second draft of my kids’ sci-fi novel—my second book project! excited to keep honing it into something great!

lost custody of my labubu today (he fell off my bag and was adopted by the coffee shop I work at)

@toomanyspectra.bsky.social and I have an amazing friend, Willow. They have been homeless for a while now in NYC but getting back into housing! They need help getting things out of storage/moving and all the things needed to get going. We're so happy for them. Thank you! spot.fund/AHomeForWillow

just saw a copy of a book i own at a rare bookstore for $1500 🤯

hmm

haters will say NYC isn’t the easiest place to romanticize every second of your life

usually i have a pretty good immune system but right now i have a sinus infection ping-ponging between my sinuses and my lungs and i yearn for death

i WILL be at AAS Winter 2027 to sign books, carouse about the exhibition hall, and serve cvnt at the hotel bar so put ~that~ in your outlook calendar ✨💃🏼

AAS attendees: please be mindful of those of us who cannot attend (me) by keeping them (me) apprised of drama, gossip, and other matters of intrigue. my DMs are open and my mouth is shut. thank you for your attention to this matter.

complete (first draft) @ 10.7k words >:)

NEOSTEIN’s first meeting is sold out 3 weeks ahead of time….the people really do yearn for the parisian salons

absolution by jeff vandermeer is the linguistic equivalent of an obliterating blast of gamma radiation that permanently alters your DNA and the trajectory of your life 10/10

It’s @toomanyspectra.bsky.social’s book coming out next year! You can preorder it here 😊 www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cloudy-wit...

a boyfriend is really just a kind of labubu

local writer triumphs at karaoke with moving performance of “i’ll make a man out of you”

the more things change, the more they stay the same (20 vs 32)

“too windy out to be beautiful today” little old lady at the post office speaking the TRUTH

2026:

helloooo nyc gay people: i’m hosting an 1920’s style bushwick art salon where artists and writers can mingle and share and work! interested? DM me for the link!