for christmas in 2020 i gifted one of my friends a terrifying and very heavy head i found on ebay. upon rediscovery today they discovered that somehow the pupils disappeared, leaving it looking like this:

implot imcombine apall apscatter dispcor rvcorrect

trying to find a roommate in bushwick that’s a) employed and b) doesn’t already own two cats [difficulty level: impossible]

today on my commute home i talked to a guy reading my favorite book on the train. then i saw a bunch of people walk through a long puddle they only realized at the end was a shattered bottle of maple syrup. then i saw a lady on a citibike wearing a disassembled storage rack. greatest city, etc

i never make empty threats in my physics lab

excited to get publicity going for STARSHIPS 👀🚀

canvas got hacked because it is software. brightspace will never get hacked because it is a malevolent entity trapped inside a web browser by a wizard.

“why are there so many white girls in daisy dukes in line for Los Hermanos today?” I ask myself. “happy cinco de mayo!” one exclaims. she is talking to a samoyed.

not to do a sweeping generalization about an entire generation from anecdotal data but i keep hearing zoomers (men and women!) on the train telling their friends they love them casually as they depart. delightful. keep it up.

no war but class war and new york dog owners who bring their dog everywhere war

WOKE and GAY

they spent so much time teaching us roman numerals in catholic school. and for what. so i can tell the final fantasies apart? get a grip

can we rehash a less annoying astronomy debate than Pluto. people used to think there were dinosaurs on Venus. tell your kids about THAT.

guy at the park has a camera on a tripod and a “debate me on any topic to win $1 (no politics)” sign. my good man it’s your lucky day you’re about to hear all my opinions on alien life in the universe.

✨ HEY NEW YORK 💫 ENTANGLED STATES launches May 20 at @lgbtcenternyc.bsky.social! come hang out with your favorite queer physicists, me and @kpc.bsky.social, while we talk gender, physics, and hot dog toppings 🌭

can’t believe it’s finally my turn to do this but: COVER REVEAL!! here is the long-awaited cover for CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF STARSHIPS by the incredibly talented Kamille Rodriguez pre-order here: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cloudy-wit...

graduated college 11 years ago today!! 🥲

👁️👅👁️

lez out

bushwick is probably the only place in the universe where i have to go femme for people to believe I’m also into men

getting a good grade in therapy by explaining why i’m late in verse

can some college in new york let me teach a class about the astrobiology of project hail mary please and thank you

cannot wait to turn these off for the summer 💀

you know what. admittedly i didn’t really see the point of sending people to orbit the moon. but you know what. it was so good for morale. like an insanely good investment of $4b. no higher ROI than inspiring a new generation of space scientists. we absolutely have to keep doing this.

new Ocean Guy just dropped

everyone say happy birthday to mostly and toastly :) they were found under a house in detroit and have since wanted for nothing. they have increased the local crime rate in my area by 10,000%. they have driven cross-country and flown back with me. they are soft and majestic and loving and perfect.

periodic update on Books I See People Reading On The Train

average wednesday in bushwick

hate philosophy. entirely masturbatory school of thought. “ooh what if reality is conceptual” who cares. i’m going to sit in the park on a blanket in the sunshine.

just watched a subway maintenance worker try to scrub the mustache off a MoMA poster for Duchamp’s Mons Lisa. i love Art

st. thomas on film

the kind of fit you can pull in bushwick for $15 and some kitchen scissors

finance bros love to move to bushwick and then wail and sob on social media because they saw an abuela selling kebabs in maria hernandez park

discovered the perfect phone background on twitter

when are they going to add a fifth galilean moon

just tried to get back on estrogen post-hysterectomy only to get patronized, condescended to, and ultimately flat-out denied in case anyone was wondering what it’s like to to try to access hormone care when you’re cis-passing and live in brooklyn

what does the h in h-index stand for

i was thrilled to get to write about THE EDGE OF SPACETIME for @americanscientist.org!

slash fic so perverse it restores your faith in art to before-AI levels

barista: happy birthday! how old are you? me: 33! barista: *nodding* just like when they killed jesus

it’s not that i don’t get depressed or anxious in new york it’s just that when i feel bad i can get on a train and be here in an hour

why spend $10 billion to blast into outer space when you could spend $11.99 at your finest local bodega

look what finally arrived from tacoma in one piece! * most and toast for scale

get me to god’s country (bushwick)

get me to god’s country (bushwick)

at TSA in florida. refuse to have my face scanned so i don’t have ID mismatch issues. guy rolls his eyes and scans my passport into the facial recognition system instead. it comes up with my entire government name so they make me exit the security line to get a boarding pass with my deadname on it.

It’s National Black Bookstore Day! So I want to highlight that next week I will be doing events at two Black women-owned bookstores! Tickets required! On Tuesday 4/14 in Brooklyn I’ll be at Café con Libros in conversation with fellow Black Jew the genius @sorayanadiamcdonald.com And on Thurs 4/16

i don’t think i’ve ever experienced culture shock as bad as going from bushwick to boomer strip-mall suburbia florida

So pleased to have this new essay up @lithub.com.web.brid.gy! I noticed that my new book The Edge of Space-Time is one of a few that is concerned specifically with how metaphor shapes our world. So I wrote about why we are thinking about that in this political moment! 💙📚