I will TAKE UP ARMS with the older Reichardthead lady in my row at the Angelika and wage a holy and righteous war the HEATHENS in the row behind us who audibly groaned and writhed through The Mastermind and left screaming “THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN” and “NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED”

The viral promo for Kelly Reichardt’s new movie is going hard: wapo.st/4o6BVGQ

Waiting for famously interactive performer Natalie Palamides’s WEER to start. I joked to Sam earlier that I’d bought us seats outside the “splash zone”…and arrived to see, lo and behold, as god is my witness, they are giving out ponchos in the front row.

Just bought tickets to three things—Kelly Reichardt’s heist movie (!!!) The Mastermind, the new Dog Day Afternoon stage adaptation, and Elevator Repair Service’s Ulysses at the Public—that make me so happy to live in this city. It’s a real gift.

D’Angelo is such a mammoth loss. He was pure genius, through and through. m.youtube.com/watch?v=T3Cu...

I feel like every review of One Battle After Another I’ve seen on here is like MY BOYFRIEND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT and as much as it pains me to admit it, the boyfriends are right about this one. It was so good.

Saw "Waiting for Godot," with Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter last night, and overall: so great. Those two are the draw, and I get it, and they're excellent--but Brandon J. Dirden as Pozzo and Michael Patrick Thornton as Lucky run away with the play. They absolutely eat it up.

134 days until pitchers and catchers.

God, what a fucking dreamcrusher of a season.

Let your haters pack your table of success leftovers in to-go boxes. Bye, Eric, you are a dummy for the ages.

Oh no, I had thentuk for the first time and I think I am ruined for all other soups??!!!

“Please welcome: the Rapture.” m.youtube.com/watch?v=bGk6...

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

BUT HE IS BACK OUT ON THE FIELD WITH A HUGE ICE PACK CELEBRATING

The hit Alvy took looked terrible in person. He almost couldn’t breathe walking off. I really hope he’s okay/am personally willing to fight that pitcher.

Katia Lindor played the national anthem tonight! I am such a fan of each and every Lindor. Love to have someone playing the anthem whose politics I respect.

Queens friends, here's a family from my neighborhood that's been directly terrorized by ICE who needs our support: gofund.me/21f159618

Dessert mode ACTIVATE: Best pie: cherry Best ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food Best doughnut: apple fritter, and it’s not even close Best bar: lemon bar Best cake: carrot cake Best other: cannoli

Until that Alvarez homer, every closeup of a Met tonight looked like it belonged in the “Everybody Hurts” video. Sometimes everything IS wrong, my boys.

Absolutely the only thing I have enjoyed about this Mets/Phillies series.

Edwin Diaz tonight.

Digital Underground in Nothing But Trouble.

“McLean was awesome, electric crowd tonight, y’know, I feel locked in and also I need TP for my bunghole.”

THE FACE BRANDON NIMMO IS MAKING.

You have GOT to be kidding me. www.thecity.nyc/2025/08/20/w...

Had dinner for the first time at Bonnie’s in Williamsburg and it was SO GOOD, and the servers were so kind and thoughtful! Just a great place.

Slightly diminish a band: They Might Be 6’2

In urban policy, it is considered bad for someone to be rent-burdened (spending at least 30% of their income on rent). But Cuomo's newly proposed law would *require* that people be rent-burdened. Absolutely insane.

Sorry, I meant: 🎶Step right up and SWEEP the Mets🎵

I love when Jerry’s in the SNY studio for the pre- and post-game. He’s so specific and insightful.

🎶 Beat the Mets Beat the Mets Step right up and beat the Mets Are you kidding Is this life 🎶

I have been seething for weeks at this Lindsay Lohan commercial for Verizon, where she asks Gemini ("a little glam squad in my pocket") what eye makeup she should wear with her lipstick ("a classic cat-eye"), which she chuckles is "setting the bar high for daycare pickup."

Watching Butto pitch that inning was like being inside someone else’s anxiety nightmare. Like at least he had clothes on and his teeth weren’t falling out??

Brandon Nimmo and his emotional support sledgehammer is one of the few highlights of this game so far…

It Happened To Me: I Added A Light Amber Tint to my Prescription Glasses, Which Are Huge Aviators, And Now I Am Addicted To Looking Like I Am a "Boogie Nights" Extra

Butto hasn’t been great, but the shots of him so emotional in the bullpen are really tugging my heartstrings!

Would LOVE to see the makeover montage that led to Alvarez’s mustache and dangly earring and drastic improvement at the plate!

Cannot express how much I was baffled by this headline, which I understood to mean [deceased drag performer] Divine [portraying] Keanu Reeves.

Zoom in on a single, fat tear of joy, rolling down my cheek.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I have Covid and I’m just mainlining garbage but this non-speaking but somehow named character in Pacific Heights (1990) might have healed me?

Their contact email is [email protected]

SNY has got to get Jose Reyes the fuck off my screen. It's an insult to all female fans, all fans who've survived domestic violence, and all fans who don't want to cosign domestic violence every time they turn on the post game show.

I truly believe that the death knell for the 2025 Mets was Dicky Lovelady rebuking our delight in his lightly horny moniker. He was the reverse Seymour Weiner, drizzling on the tiniest embers of our remaining vibes.

Ah yes, useless newsletter for an even more useless person, what HAS Senator Gillibrand been up to this week?

What a beautiful thing.

Watching this was thrilling—an independent outlet reporting with heart and humor on a rare hopeful moment. Let’s fucking go, Mayor Mamdani!

…apparently we signed a Nick Swardson vehicle to a one year deal?